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Peter is in a good mood. He’s just had tacos from his favorite stand of the fiftieth floor’s food court, and they’re touring Dr. Karim’s floor next. He likes Dr. Karim. She leads SI’s research into sustainable synthetic textiles, and she gives out free donuts every Saturday morning.
Even Flash is being decent. He’s whispered about Peter’s internship to his friends only twice so far. He did try to bring it up in front of Peter’s face on the bus ride here, but Peter just rolled his eyes and turned up the volume of his music. His teachers have the paperwork that prove his internship real, and that’s all that really matters for his college recommendation letters. And also his dignity, but who cares about that?
All in all, the field trip to Stark Industries is going exceedingly well. The tour guide is giving a fascinating overview of SI’s current contributions to the biomaterials market—nothing he hasn’t heard of before, but this is interesting; “Shut up Ned, you once went on a rant about the superiority of Vim.”
He becomes so engrossed in the speech that he doesn’t notice the elevator dinging down the hall nor the approach of familiar footsteps. He gets vaguely annoyed when his classmates start whispering and shuffling around, but he doesn’t process what they’re saying until the tour guide sighs and says, “Yes, it does look like this group is getting a Tony Stark sighting. Happens every once in a while on the lab floors. Please afford Dr. Stark the same courtesy you’re extending the other employees of SI and keep the hallway open.”
The tour guide opens his mouth to return to the subject of biomaterials, but, apparently deciding that no one would listen, closes it again. Peter’s too overcome with sudden dread to care. He didn’t expect to run into Tony today. He’s even taken precautions to prevent Tony from finding out he’s here, just in case the man would get it in his head to use the trip as an opportunity for their ongoing prank war. He can’t subject his poor classmates to that. May didn’t sell him out, did she?
Peter turns toward where all his classmates are staring. Sure enough, there’s Tony coming down the hallway, dressed casually and fiddling with bits of metal in his hands.
Tony flicks his gaze toward the group of students gawking and does a compulsory once-over. He doesn’t seem to be looking for Peter. Peter sinks deep in his hoodie and prays he blends in anyway.
Unfortunately, Tony catches his eye, does a double-take, and smiles. “Oh, hey!” he says as he walks over. Then, to Peter’s eternal mortification, Tony sticks one end of a piece of metal in his mouth so he has a free hand to ruffle Peter’s hair. With the piece still in his mouth and muffling his voice, he says, “Didn’t know you were here. I have to go talk with Dr. Karim in her lab right now, sorry I can’t stay and chat longer.”
Well. At least Peter knows this isn’t happening because Tony wants revenge for the latest glitter bomb in his office. He’s still wondering where the nearest ditch is so he can go and lie down in it.
His classmates are staring. His teacher is staring. The tour guide is staring. Peter elects to ignore all that and glare at Tony’s retreating figure. Tony, oblivious and probably sleep-deprived, continues on his merry way down the hall.
As Tony disappears around the bend, Peter’s classmates all start ganging up on him.
“Do you know Tony Stark???”
“Peter! When were you going to tell us about this?”
“No way does any student at our school know Tony fucking Stark—”
“Is it because of your internship? I didn’t think that would entail meeting the goddamn owner of Stark Industries!”
Peter shoots a panicked look at his friends. MJ takes pity on him. She claps loudly and says, “Everybody, shut up! Peter can’t give you an answer if you’re talking all at once.” It does the trick. Now everyone and MJ are looking at him expectantly.
Peter shoots MJ an even more panicked look, but she just makes a gesture like ‘go on.’
MJ takes pity on him. So that was a fucking lie.
“I’ve never seen that man before in my life,” begins Peter. Oops. Back up, back up. “I—I mean, I haven’t met or seen him in actual person before, of course I’ve seen him, like, on TV, but, you know. I’m an intern here! Why would I know him?”
Several people open their mouths to say something, presumably, But then why did he talk to you just now in front of our own eyes? so Peter plows on, “I have no clue why he came over and talked to me like that. Maybe he mistook me for someone else. Or maybe it’s a rich-people thing.” Oh god, all his classmates are rich people. “I mean, billionaire-rich-people thing. Billionaires are eccentric, you know. Absolute walnuts. It’s just how it is.” Peter laughs. Hopefully it doesn’t sound nervous.
His teacher sends him a disapproving look, probably because of the ‘absolute walnuts’ part. On the bright side, most of his classmates seem to buy it, pensive looks on their faces. Thank god Tony has done some absolute walnutty stuff in his day, like putting on a flying metal suit to fight bad guys.
The crowd quiets down, Peter relaxes, and the tour guide takes that as his cue to continue the biomaterials talk.
Unfortunately, Peter relaxes far too soon. A minute later, the familiar footsteps come again, but they’re quicker and heavier than usual. Peter’s dread returns in full force as he turns toward the sound.
Tony is making his way toward him in a fury. “Peter Benjamin Parker! Do you care to explain to me what exactly you are doing here at noon on a weekday? You’re supposed to be in school right now! It’s not even your lunch hour!”
Peter gapes at Tony. There goes all his credibility. “I—I thought you had to go talk with Dr. Karim?”
“It turns out FRIDAY was lying to me and Dr. Karim did not need to talk. I have no goddamn clue why FRIDAY would say that instead of telling me that you’re in the Tower cutting classes! What on earth has gotten into the bo—who in the fuck are these people?” Tony blinks at all their spectators, seems to notice them for the first time.
Peter wishes he could disappear into a hole in the ground. “They’re my classmates. I’m not cutting classes. I’m on a field trip.”
“You’re on a what?”
“I’m…on a field trip.”
“You’re having a field trip here and you didn’t even tell me?”
“I didn’t want to see you today! I mean, when you did see me, you put a piece of metal in your mouth just so you could mess up my hair!”
“Oh, so you feel embarrassed of me. Wow. Way to hurt my feelings.”
Peter covers his face with his hands. “Oh my god, please go away.”
“Maybe you should consider this payback for the glitter bomb.”
“Shut up, Mr. Stark.”
“Do you not want me to meet your classmates? I kind of want to meet your classmates.”
Peter sighs and uncovers his face, accepting his fate. He gestures as he says, “These are my classmates, Mr. Stark. You recognize Ned and MJ. Classmates, this is Mr. Stark, the bane of my life.”
Tony smiles. “It’s a pleasure, Peter’s classmates and also Peter’s teacher. You too, tour guide.” Tony clasps his hands together in front of himself. “If any part of this conversation is leaked outside the Tower, I will ruin you all for life.”
Peter starts pushing Tony away. “He doesn’t mean that.”
“I do mean that.”
Betty clears her throat. “Okay, between this and Peter straight up denying that he knew you at first, we definitely think Peter’s your secret child now.”
“You said you didn’t know me? I’m hurt. Again.”
“Please shut up, Mr. Stark.”
On the bus back to school, Peter takes out his phone to solve a mystery.
Oh. Well then, it’s on, FRIDAY. It’s on.