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i. nostalgia
When Zhongli gives him the flower, it’s been about a year since Childe met him. It’s red, a muted red, as if blood had dripped all over it so long ago that age grew it into a normal flower.
Zhongli steps forward and pins it to his chest. He had made it into a brooch.
“For you,” he says.
Childe frowns. It’s an odd gift. They were walking through a full, royal garden. A peaceful field that was full of glaze lilies. If Childe were any more normal, he wouldn’t even dream of seeing such a peaceful sight. And yet, here he is, being gifted an ordinary flower in an abnormal garden by a prince.
Still, he pulls out his shirt slightly to look at it. “Thank you, Your Highness. What’s it for?”
“Nothing. I simply thought that it would look nice on you.” Zhongli pats his shoulder. “You should take it off before you fight. It would be unfortunate to tear it.”
Childe raises a fist, thumping it against his chest. “No need to worry. I’m skilled enough to protect it, no matter the warrior.”
Zhongli smiles, then drops his arm. “I believe you. I’ve seen you battle, after all.” He spreads his arms as he presents the flowers. “Have I told you about glaze lilies?”
“You said,” Childe pauses, “you said they’re Lady Guizhong’s favorite. Nothing more.”
“Ah, it’s been a year since you’ve won that tournament, and I’ve only told you that much?”
He walks, and Childe follows.
ii. destiny
The princess is getting better at fighting. Childe is glad. She's improving at a near terrifying rate, to the point that Childe wonders if he was the same.
It took three weeks to even convince her to try and fight him.
“Here’s the plan,” he had said. “If you, Hu Tao, beat me this first time, I’ll leave, tell your brother that you’re the best fighter in the land, and you’ll never hear from me again. If you manage to kill me, drag my body to your brother and dump me at his feet.”
Hu Tao looked at him.
“But,” he slammed a fist against her desk, where she sat with nothing but a half-finished poem in front of her, “if you lose, I’ll train you until either your bones shatter from strain or you’re able to knock me off my feet.”
Hu Tao frowned.
She tapped her feather pen against the table.
She sighed.
She grinned.
“Fine. I hate fighting, so I’ll rip your heart out and eat it right in front of Zhongli’s face.”
She did not, in fact, rip his heart out. She did, however, surprise him by lighting her staff on fire before lunging. Zhongli had failed to mention that she had a Vision clinging to her back.
Childe had gone easy on her. He didn’t actually want to harm her, so he basically tapped her until she fell over. She panted, desperately grasping onto the staff. Childe’s grip merely tightened onto his own polearm. “I’m fine- we just-”
He stood in front of her. “Lesson number one. Learn how to dodge.”
“Lesson number- what is it now?”
“I don’t know. We forgot around lesson number thirty-two.”
Childe laughs, long and hard. “Well, whatever. Lesson number one thousand, don’t be so obvious when aiming. You’re small, you’re fast, you’re strong. Use that to your advantage!”
Hu Tao groans. “You say that every week!”
“Oh, come on now. Don’t complain!” He claps his hands. “Let’s go, one more time. One more time, and then we’ll stop for today.”
She glares at him. “One more time, and then you tell me why you and Zhongli are so weird now.”
Childe freezes. He shakes it off. “Alright, alright. Let’s go.”
The fight stops when Hu Tao plunges her staff in his gut.
She yells.
Childe coughs, stumbling to the floor. “Hu Tao, I’m fine! Don’t-” Hu Tao’s eyes are welling up in tears already. She’s far more of a crybaby than he expected. “Hu Tao. Breathe, okay? That’s rule number twelve. Breathe. I’m fine. I’ve suffered worse.”
She practically sobs, pressing desperately on his wound. “No, no, no this can’t happen this can’t-”
“Hu Tao!” He grabs her by the shoulders, shaking her. “You didn’t even stab me that hard! Stop panicking! Didn’t I tell you I’ve nearly had my arm ripped off? This isn’t even a scratch!”
Hu Tao seems more convinced by the second, wiping at her face.
“Come on. Calm down. You won! You beat me!”
She blinks.
“Wait, I did! I beat you!” She glows. “Childe!” She stands up, fists on her hips. “Bwahaha! I’m the invincible gladiator now!” She twirls around. cheering. “I never have to fight again! I’m gonna go get Zhongli! And a healer. Be right back!”
Childe grins, even as she left.
He grins, up at the sky.
Birds.
Feathers.
Flowers.
He closes his eyes.
I shouldn’t have lied.
iii. longing
There's rage set in the gladiator’s face. It isn’t amplified when he glares or when he smiles, but it's there, just like how one’s tongue is set inside their mouth.
And the gladiator smiles a lot. He grins maniacally as he tears his enemies apart, he chuckles and cackles at each and every fight, to the point that even Hu Tao ends up looking up from her novel and mumbling about how he was probably insane.
Zhongli is simply intrigued.
Afterward, when he’s beat them all and the gladiator is left on the battlefield with nothing but his weapons strewn around him, Zhongli goes down to meet him.
He holds out a hand. “That was impressive.”
The gladiator looks up at him. “Your Highness.”
“You must be tired.”
The gladiator jerks his head towards the side of the arena. “Could I ask you to check how much sand is left in the hourglass over there?”
Zhongli blinks in surprise, but he complies. He quickly goes over to the hourglass, seeing about a third of the sand left. He picks it up and brings it back. “A third, when I looked.”
“Ah,” the gladiator curses under his breath. He finally reaches up and takes Zhongli’s hand, pulling himself up. “I knew I was off my game today.”
Zhongli knows exactly who he is, and exactly what he's here for. He grabs his arm, blood splattering onto his hands. “Come with me. Please.”
The gladiator looks at him, confused, but he follows.
“Childe, tell me what you want.”
There are a million things in his eyes. Zhongli is uncomfortably close.
“A fight. With you.”
“I can’t give you that.”
“Anything. I’ll do anything to have one. It won’t be long until I leave. I know you can fight. I just want to see if you can fight well.”
Zhongli ponders.
“Stay here. Stay in Liyue, and train Hu Tao. She refuses to fight, she refuses to learn, even though her potential is unmatched. Once she’s strong enough to beat you, I’ll fight you.”
“So, you want me to babysit?”
“No, I want you to prove to me how good of a fighter you are.”
iv. intoxication
When Childe is given the goblet, he thinks he’s been here too long. They’re sitting on the same bed together when Zhongli hands over a too heavy cup.
“Is this gold?”
“It’s for you.” Zhongli shuffles even closer. “I made it.”
He swallows. “Thank you. What’s it for?” What a dumb question.
“Drinking. After you win a battle, you drink. I figured you deserved something that fit a champion.”
Zhongli smiles at him, and Childe feels like he’s cursed. Cursed in a way that has gods laughing at him.
“Why don’t you drink now?”
Childe laughs softly, awkwardly. “What do you mean? I haven’t won anything.”
“Are you sure?”
Childe has no idea what he's talking about. He feels like Zhongli, even as steady and constant as he is, is far too floaty. Like he’s just out of reach, and Childe can’t find it within him to take a step closer to properly grab his arm.
“Yeah, I don’t think I’ve won anything.”
Not yet.
Signora’s voice rings in his head.
You’re playing the long con? That’s extremely unlike you, Childe.
So what? You said it yourself, the royal family is the closest thing to their god. If I have to play the long con for the Tsaritsa, I have no qualms.
Well then. Enjoy yourself, I suppose.
“Childe,” Zhongli whispers, leaning closer, “I think… I don’t think you give yourself enough credit.”
Childe doesn’t know if he should lean back or reciprocate. He sits completely still. “I don’t think I know what you mean.”
Zhongli frowns. “Are you teasing me?”
“Huh? N-no, of course not, Your Highness.”
Suddenly, Zhongli places a heavy hand on his shoulder and pushes him down flat on the bed. He crawls over him, and Childe’s throat goes dry. “Childe, tell me what you want.”
“A fight.” His voice is tight.
“Not that.”
“I don’t know what else I want.”
“You don’t?”
“Maybe my family.”
“You can’t have that, though.”
“No, I can’t. Even if you let me, I still couldn’t.”
Zhongli sighs.
“I know what I want.”
“Okay. Will you tell me what it is?”
Zhongli’s eyes sparkle. “No. I want you to tell me what you want.”
Childe grimaces. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why do you do so much for- for your sister’s trainer?”
“Because.” Zhongli grabs him by the shirt collar, pulling him so close their lips nearly graze. “Because I think you’re everything this castle shields me from.”
Childe has no idea what he means, but he thinks he understands a little bit better when Zhongli slides their lips together.
v. triumphus
He’s bleeding out, he knows.
“Zhongli,” he whispers.
Zhongli’s cradling his face. “Hu Tao is looking for you.” Talking hurts.
“Do you hate me?” Zhongli asks. “Do you hate me for lying?”
“Yeah. I really do. It’s okay, Zhongli. I would’ve died, no matter what happened.”
“No,” Zhongli says. It’s firm, but it wavers. “You won’t. The healer will be here, any second. You’ll stay here, forever, and no one will ever harm you, just like no one’s ever harmed me.”
“I have to see my family again.”
“And if you do?”
“I’ll die. Because I won’t have your…”
Childe reaches up, his arm shaky, and he points at Zhongli’s chest.
Zhongli grabs his hand tightly, slamming it against his chest. “And if you do take it.”
“I’ll die because you’re dead, and Hu Tao would never forgive me, and I’d never forgive myself.”
“You won’t die, Childe. You won’t.”
“I know, Zhongli.”
He grins.
“First, Hu Tao says she’s fine, then you don’t tell me the truth, then you say this. Is Liyue full of liars, or is it just you two?”
“I’m not lying, Ajax.”
“I know, Zhongli. I know you aren’t.”
“Ajax, open your eyes.”
“Next time, you should be there.”
“Ajax!”
“Hu Tao is a really good fighter, you know?”
“Ajax, please-”
Zhongli’s crying. Weird.
“I know you’re the same.”