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Arthur’s palms were sweating, his heart was racing, and he was biting his lip nervously. He felt as if he was worried about an exam, except this feeling was much, much worse.
His hands started to shake and he tried to calm himself, trying to hold his emotions back. He wasn’t weak, he wasn't afraid. He was strong and brave and fearless and he could do this.
But God, he felt like he wanted to cry.
This was much harder than he anticipated. If he was planning on coming out to someone he knew was homophobic, maybe his fears would be warranted. If he wasn't sure what their stance was, maybe it would be justified.
But he was coming out to his closest friends, all of which were a part of the LGBTQ+ community. His best friend was gayer than the damn rainbow, his sister literally puked the one time she kissed a boy, and two of his friends were so ace they rarely ever picked up on sexual innuendos.
This wasn't with his father, this wasn't with some of the football players, or in front of the entire school. This was with his closest friends, people he trusted with his life, all who would understand him. Why was he so worried?
He knew they would accept him, he knew it. He fucking knew it. And yet…
And yet he still couldn't help but tap his foot on the floor, couldn't help but dig his nails into the palms of his hands, couldn't help his heart thudding loudly, too loudly, and oh god he couldn't breathe --
“Arthur?” came a familiar voice, drawing him away from his thoughts. He took a deep breath before looking up at the concerned blue eyes belonging to his best friend, Merlin. Said best friend raised an eyebrow. “Are you alright?”
He blinked before sending him a strained smile. “Of course. Why wouldn't I be?”
Merlin seemed to hesitate, almost wanting to push the subject, but before he could, the rest of his friends showed up.
“Are we ready to watch this game or what?” Elyan yelled, pumping his fists in the air.
“Me and Morgana brought drinks,” Leon called from the door as they barreled inside, a cooler filled with what could only be beer cans and diet Dr. Pepper.
“And guess who brought the snacks!” Gwen, Lancelot, and Gwaine bounded in afterward, carrying everything from large bags of gummies to Lays chips.
Merlin clapped his hands excitedly. “Well then, are we ready to switch on the game?”
“Uhh… can I say something first?” Every head turned towards Arthur and he coughed awkwardly, his face heating up.
Morgana seemed about ready to make fun of him, probably about his intelligence, but she stopped when she saw the look on his face. She pursed her lips before sitting down on one of the couches, the rest of his friends following her lead.
His knee was now bouncing and his fingers were tied around one another, scared even though he knew they wouldn’t hate him. He knew it and yet he apparently didn’t because the words were sticking in his throat and he was opening and closing his mouth and he had no idea how to say how he was feeling, how to just… yank those words out of him.
His throat was dry and he was swallowing, trying to ease it, but it was so difficult to keep the panic at bay.
He nearly jumped when he felt a soft touch linger on his balled fists. He looked up to find Merlin giving him an encouraging smile and a slight nod.
Never before had he felt this lucky to have such amazing and caring friends.
He nodded slightly before taking a deep breath and muttering, with all the confidence he could muster, “I’m… not straight.” He wanted to say more but saying the words, truly saying them, was still a bit difficult for him.
The room was silent for a second and he looked down, afraid to see their reactions.
Finally, he heard the words, “Okay.” He looked up, surprised, to see Merlin smiling.
“Okay?” He was rather shocked they weren’t making jokes or telling him off for being nervous. But instead, Merlin just continued to nod.
He looked towards all of his friends, expecting them to say something else, but they all grinned at him.
“We’re always here to support you,” Leon was saying.
“I know I might be a bitch sometimes,” Morgana added and Arthur snorted. “But I do care about you. And I’m proud of you.”
He was surprised when the tears started flowing and even more surprised when his sister dragged him into a hug. They were not ones to ever be touchy-feely with each other and so the fact that she had willingly hugged him, made him feel both slightly awkward and also grateful.
And then he felt curly light hair in his face and realized that Leon was hugging him too. And then, before he knew it, everyone was hugging him. In any other situation he would shake them off, shuddering at how strange it was, but it felt different this time around. He felt at ease. So at ease that he started laughing, albeit a little hysterically. The others quickly joined in and soon they were wiping their tears, laughing and smiling and feeling relieved.
Arthur finally felt content, glad that he was able to unburden himself with the truth and be accepted with open arms. He felt so loved and grateful for these people in his life and he wasn’t sure what to say, how to thank him for all they had done. But, looking at his friend’s faces now, it seemed like they already knew just how much they meant to him.
And in that moment, looking between his friends, his family, he finally felt so safe and wanted and happy in his life.
He finally felt like he was home.