Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

”Ring around the pyre…”

Zuko dashed through the village, frantically searching for the source of the singing, as fire rained down from above.

”The dragon born of fire…”

Somewhere, there was a little girl… singing to herself to keep calm. He could hear her, so why couldn’t he see her?

Another explosion from the volcano shook the ground, and he stumbled forward. There stood a little girl holding a stuffed platypus bear.

”Ashes, Ashes…”

“Are you okay?” Zuko asked the little girl.

She looked up, but not at Zuko. Instead, her eyes fell on a figure above him. A figure that looked just like Zuko.

A furious wind swept past the other Zuko, his eyes glowing bright. Zuko fought the wind to reach the girl, shielding her from the wind and fire.

In the distance, Zuko could see the lava flowing towards the village. He knew the trenches wouldn’t be enough.

“Hey!” Zuko yelled at the glowing-eyed version of himself. “You have to stop the lava!”

The other Zuko glared down at him before looking at the lava flow. Zuko’s couldn’t believe his eyes as he watched himself bend the lava towards them instead of away.

The girl continued singing as though nothing were happening.

”We all burn…”

“NO!”

Avatar State Zuko bent a slurry of lava straight at them.

”...down.”

Zuko bolted upright, bringing himself to his feet. It was just a dream, he thought to himself.

A blue light shone down on him, and he looked up to see a monstrous water creature towering over the city of Agna Qel’a.

In the heart of the monster was… Zuko. Eyes glowing once more.

“It’s not over,” The other Zuko said to him in a thousand voices. “But you are.”

The monster raised one arm, directed by the other Zuko’s bending, and slammed it down on Zuko before he could even scream.

Zuko sat up violently, throwing himself off balance and hitting the ground.

Above him, his now-empty hammock swung gently back and forth. How he missed his windowside mat.

Someone groaned nearby. “Wha’s goin’ on?”

Ignoring Sokka’s question, Zuko slipped out from under his hammock and climbed up the ladder to the deck above.

It was nice to be out on the sea again. The scent of salty air and sounds and motion of the waves against the ship were a familiar comfort to him. Of course, there was no creaking of metal or burning of coal coupled with it, but perhaps that was for the better.

If he closed his eyes and concentrated, he could imagine he was on the Wani once more, awaiting news about the Avatar from Lieutenant Jee so that he could order Rasa to set a new course.

A salty ocean spray splashed against his face, startling him out of the early morning daydream. Of course, there was no point in it anyways. That time of his life had long since passed. Jee was gone, Zuko had found the Avatar, and he had no idea where Rasa or the rest of his old crew was. Would he ever see them again?

“Hey.”

Zuko didn’t turn around, allowing Sokka to come to his side.

“Hey,” he finally replied once his friend had joined him.

“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” Sokka asked.

“Sad things,” Zuko told him.

“Ah, yeah…” Sokka sighed. “That’s what I thought.”

Zuko took another deep breath of sea air, but said nothing.

Sokka filled the silence. “Did you have another nightmare?”

“Yeah,” Zuko replied, simply. Such short responses towards Sokka were now characteristic of him, apparently, though he wasn’t sure why.

“Do you… want to talk about it?” Sokka inquired, leaning forward a bit to get a better look at his face.

Zuko shrugged. “Not really.”

“Oh,” Sokka looked down at the waves below. “Okay, then.”

In the distance, a sliver of light peeked out from the horizon.

“The sun will be up soon,” Zuko told him. “I’m going to meditate.”

“Sure,” Sokka said. “I guess I’ll get some more sleep.”

As soon as the Water Tribe warrior was gone, Zuko sat down on the deck, taking up his usual meditation pose. He ignored the cold water splashing up from the sea, and instead focused on his breathing as the sun grew steadily higher in the sky.

He barely heard the sounds of the crew going about their morning tasks, of Iroh and Katara discussing breakfast, and of Aang urging Sokka to do something that he seemed very reluctant to do.

When he finally opened his eyes, it was because Momo had landed on his shoulder and begun chattering in his ear.

He gave the little creature a smile and a gentle ear scratch, earning a satisfied purr in return.

“He came to tell you breakfast is ready,” Aang said from behind him.

“I’m coming,” said Zuko, standing and turning around.

Aang had a bag full of fruits over one shoulder, and as Zuko headed for the entrance to the mess, the young airbender asked Appa if he was hungry.

The rest of Zuko’s team was gathered at Pakku’s table, listening with rapt attention to a tale the old man had been telling.

“And that was the day I fell in love with your grandmother,” Pakku was saying.

“Aw, that’s so sweet!” Katara held her hands over her heart, as if to punctuate just how sweet and romantic the story had been.

Sokka seemed much less impressed. “You do realize she left him right after, right?”

That earned him a bit of soup broth in the face as Katara flicked her hand towards him.

“Ah, love,” Uncle said, stroking his beard. “I remember I was in love once, too.”

Months ago, Zuko would have immediately dismissed him. But that was Past-Zuko, and Past-Zuko was a jerk. Present-Zuko wanted to hear a story about his aunt, who he had never met. She had died when Lu Ten was very young, before Zuko was ever born.

“I thought she was the woman of my dreams,” Uncle Iroh told them. “So I brought her a bouquet of the finest Fire Lilies I could find. But, as it turned out, she was severely allergic to them.”

“Aunt Akali was allergic to Fire Lilies?” Zuko asked.

“Oh, no, this wasn’t your aunt,” Uncle guffawed. “I was just a boy when I fell in love the first time. I didn’t meet Akali until I was a young man. No, this girl was a firebender, you see. And you know what happens when a firebender has a sneezing fit.”

“Wait, is this the story of how the east wing burnt down?” Zuko asked, recalling Lu Ten showing him around the east wing of the royal palace once and explaining how it was rebuilt with the original plans.

Uncle laughed jovially. “Indeed, it is. She was so embarrassed she never spoke to me again. Her family moved to the colonies soon after. I’ve always wondered what happened to her.”

“She probably married a guy who didn’t give her flowers she was allergic to,” Sokka muttered.

Katara stifled a giggle as Aang finally joined them.

“Appa’s fed and ready to go when we are,” he told the others, making a face at the bowl Katara placed in front of him.

“I guess it’s time, then,” Katara said, her smile faltering.

Pakku laid a hand on her shoulder. “Parting is always difficult to do, but there are people who need you.”

“I know,” Katara said. “But I’m going to miss our people.”

“Don’t worry,” said the old man. “If you ever grow homesick, you know where to find us.”

After breakfast, everyone gathered on deck. They packed their belongings and supplies into Appa’s saddle for the first time in nearly two months.

Then they stood on the deck, facing the men and women they’d come to know so well.

“Katara, I want you to have this,” Pakku said. He held up a small glass vial. “This amulet contains water from the spirit oasis. The water has unique properties. Don’t lose it.”

“Thank you, Master Pakku,” Katara bowed, accepting the gift and carefully hanging it around her neck.

“Zuko.”

He stepped forward at Pakku’s summons.

Pakku took a box from one of his men, and held it out to Zuko. “These scrolls will help you master waterbending. But remember, there are no substitutes for a real master.”

They both looked up at Katara, who was already in Appa’s saddle and petting Momo. She beamed at them.

“Thank you, Master,” Zuko said, bowing with the box in his hands.

He quickly joined Katara in the saddle as Pakku said much shorter goodbyes to Sokka and Aang.

To Uncle, he said, “Be prepared, my friend. I’ve learned all your strategies now, so I’ll have plenty of counter-strategies for our next game.”

Uncle chuckled heartily. “Who said those were all of my strategies?”

Pakku looked as though he might have an aneurism as Uncle climbed into Appa’s saddle and sat next to Zuko.

“Appa, yip-yip,” Aang said after they all said one last farewell.

“Well, back to the Earth Kingdom,” Zuko said.

“Yep, back to good ol’ Earthy,” Sokka replied, attempting and failing to make anyone laugh.

“There it is!” Aang cried, pointing out a formidable earthen fortress on the coast.

Zuko gulped.

“You okay?” Sokka asked.

“Yeah,” Zuko lied.

“Don’t worry, Zuko,” Katara said. “General Fong knows that you’re the Avatar and that we’re all on the same side. He’s not going to throw you in prison.”

Zuko relaxed. “You’re right. Thanks, Katara.”

Katara gave him a reassuring smile, but in the corner of his eye, he could see Sokka crossing his arms and moping.

As they landed, they were greeted by a man in a green general’s uniform. “Welcome, Avatar Zuko! I am General Fong.”

As each of them dismounted from Appa, he greeted them, too. “And welcome to all of you, great heroes. Appa, Momo, brave Sokka, the mighty Katara, Monk Aang of the Air Nomads-”

“Actually, it’s just Aang,” said the airbender.

“-and General Iroh, Dragon of the West.”

“Retired General, Dragon of the West,” Uncle corrected him.

Fong didn’t seem to hear him, nor did the others, who were also caught up on their names. Sokka and Katara both seemed happy about being called brave and mighty.

Meanwhile, Zuko wondered if he should have worn his old Earth Kingdom disguise, rather than donning the red and gold clothes he’d taken up during his stay in the Northern Water Tribe. No one had minded there, but here…

Fong led them up to a meeting hall, which overlooked much of the base.

“Avatar Zuko, we were all amazed at the stories of how you single handedly wiped out an entire Fire Navy fleet at the North Pole,” Fong said, stroking his beard. “I can’t imagine what it feels like to wield such devastating power. It’s an awesome responsibility.”

As dramatically as Fong spoke, Zuko wondered if the man had rehearsed the speech. “I try not to think about it too much.”

Or dream about it too much. But he supposed he couldn’t have both worlds.

Fong did not hear him, apparently. “Avatar, you’re ready to face the Fire Lord now.”

Zuko stared at him in disbelief. “No. I’m not.”

“Zuko still needs to master all four elements,” Katara told the general. “That’s why we’re going to Omashu, so he can learn earthbending.”

“Why?” Fong inquired. “With the kind of power he possesses, power enough to destroy hundreds of battleships in a matter of minutes, he could defeat the Fire Lord now!”

“But, sir,” Sokka interjected. “The thing is, Zuko can only do those things when he’s in the Avatar State.”

“I’m well aware,” Fong waved him away. “Avatar, without you, we’d be slaughtered before we even reach their shores. But with you leading the way, as the ultimate weapon, we could cut right through to the heart of the Fire Nation.”

“An ultimate weapon?” Zuko’s fists clenched. “That sounds like something my father would say.”

“One must think like the Fire Lord to defeat the Fire Lord,” Fong argued.

“General Fong,” Uncle stepped between them. “As the Avatar’s guardian and senior teacher, I am afraid I cannot allow this. The Avatar State is not to be trifled with.”

Fong frowned at him, his brow creasing. “One must wonder if it is the Avatar’s best interests you have at heart, or your former home’s. Either way, it is not the world’s.”

“It doesn’t matter whose best interest it is,” Sokka said. “I can tell you right now, it’s not going to work. I’ve seen what the Avatar State can do, and it’s not exactly something Zuko can do on command.”

“Then we will help him figure out how to get into the Avatar State,” Fong reasoned.

“Zuko’s pursuing his destiny his way,” Katara said firmly. “We’re going to Omashu.”

Fong did not seem perturbed. “Avatar Zuko, while you take your time learning the elements, the war goes on.”

Zuko knew this. He’d seen the hardships his family had caused throughout the world.

“May I show you something?” Fong asked, his voice calm.

Although Uncle eyed the other general with great suspicion, Zuko followed him to the window. “That’s the infirmary, and those soldiers are the lucky ones. They came back.”

Zuko looked down at the injured Earth Kingdom men and healers weaving in and out of the buildings.

“Everyday, the Fire Nation takes lives,” Fong said. “People are dying, Zuko! You could end it. Now.”

Out at sea, one warship stood out at the front of its small fleet.

Lined with the imperial gold adornments, it was the most lavish of any warship in the Fire Nation. At this moment, the deck was nearly empty, save for two identical old women who sat stock still watching a young, beautiful girl whose eyes were closed in deep concentration.

Her dark hair was perfectly symmetrical apart from a hair piece that displayed the emblem of her nation.

The fourteen-year-old’s eyes snapped open, and she began to move, holding out two fingers on each hand as she moved her arms in careful, practiced motions.

Bands of electricity wove through her body, and she guided them out through her fingertips, where they reached for any and everything that could hold a charge.

Finally, the moment had come. She reached one hand towards the sky and let loose a powerful strike. The other hand remained pointed at the deck, sending any remaining electricity downwards to dispel safely.

She froze in that stance, catching her breath.

“Almost perfect,” said Lo. Or maybe it was Li. Who cared?

“One hair out of place,” said Li.

Princess Azula’s eyes nearly went cross-eyed looking at the offending strand of hair.

She swept it out of the way and huffed.

“Almost isn’t good enough.”

“Zuko, I don’t think this is a good idea,” Sokka said.

“Yeah, we have a plan,” Katara said.

Aang stepped forward, too. “You have plenty of time to figure out the Avatar state. We still have the rest of winter and all of spring.”

“And how many more will perish while you take that time?” Fong asked him.

In Zuko’s mind, he saw Lee and his mother, standing alone in front of their barn, unsure whether Gansu and Sen Su would ever return.

He saw Haru and his father fighting for their lives against a second round of Fire Nation invaders, not knowing how much longer they’d be able to hold them off.

The skeletons of dead Air Nomads scattered around the Air Temples filled his mind.

And then, he saw the water tribes again, and soot raining down on the little village he had once invaded as well as the great city of Agna Qel’a. He saw the city fall. He saw his best friends’ grandmother and Pakku lying side by side, eyes closed and unmoving.

Zuko closed his own eyes, as though that would block out the images of death from his mind.

The others were still waiting for an answer.

“Zuko,” said his uncle. “This is not the way, and you know it.”

He took a deep breath. “I have to at least try.”

He turned to Fong, who appeared ready to celebrate.

“Okay, we’ll try it your way,” Zuko said. “But I’ll only give you one day. If you haven’t succeeded by sunset tomorrow, then we’ll leave the next morning for Omashu and be done with it. Got it?”

“Understood,” Fong said. “The Earth Kingdom is forever in your debt.”

Zuko glanced around the empty barrack room Fong had assigned them for their stay, searching for a place to lay his sleeping mat. The room was windowless, so he opted for a corner of the room across from the beds.

“What are you doing?” Sokka asked, curiously. “These beds are super comfy.”

“I’ll stick with this,” Zuko told him, flattening his mat and spreading a blanket over it.

Sokka sat up from his bunk. “Okay, I thought this was some firebender thing about sleeping under windows, but we’re in a windowless room, so that argument is moot. Why do you never sleep in a bed?”

“Why do you care?” Zuko asked, not in the mood to explain his aversion to beds.

“Because it doesn’t make any sense,” Sokka said. “You literally choose discomfort every night - it’s no wonder you keep having nightmares.”

Zuko rounded on him. “Not everything has to make sense, Sokka! Just let it go!”

“Why are you acting like this?” Sokka demanded, standing. “Why can’t you just talk to me? We’re supposed to be friends, remember?”

“Are we, though?” Zuko spat. “We’ve barely spoken in weeks. I rarely ever saw you at the North Pole. And now suddenly you want to play the friend tile?”

Sokka spluttered. “We saw each other plenty! What about our sword trainings?!”

“Oh, yeah, a few afternoons here and there, great quality time, that was,” Zuko scoffed.

“How can you complain to me about quality time when you’ve refused to speak to me since we left the North Pole?” Sokka shot back. “I’ve tried several times to figure out what’s going on with you but you won’t tell me anything. All I asked is why you won’t use a bed like a normal person!”

“Maybe because I’m NOT a normal person!” Zuko shouted, taking a step forward.

“Enough!” A gust of wind blew between them. Aang and Katara stood in the doorway, Uncle behind them. Aang, who had shouted, was still holding his staff to the ground as though he had just struck it.

Both boys stepped back, but neither unclenched their fists.

Katara’s concerned eyes darkened as they slid from Zuko to Sokka.

She crossed the threshold to her brother and grabbed him by the arm. “We need to talk.”

She dragged him, kicking and screaming, from the room.

Aang shared a glance with Uncle Iroh that Zuko couldn’t read.

“I’m gonna go check on Appa,” he said, excusing himself from the room.

Uncle closed the door behind him. He and Zuko were alone.

“Nephew, I think it is time that we talk as well,” Uncle said gently.

Zuko sighed, completely drained after the confrontation with Sokka. “About what?”

“First and foremost,” Uncle said, sitting down at a low-lying table. “We should discuss what just happened between you and Sokka.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Zuko said right away.

“Sometimes, we must do the things we don’t want to do,” Uncle said, motioning for Zuko to sit across from him. Realizing he wouldn’t be getting out of this, Zuko sat down, staring at his hands. “We arrived near the end of the dispute, but it sounds to me like Sokka asked a very personal question, without realizing it was a personal question.”

“I told him to let it go,” Zuko said. “And he wouldn’t. Why does he even care where I sleep? What does it matter to him?”

“Perhaps he was upset about more than just the question?” Uncle asked, heating a pot of tea he must have stashed there earlier.

“He’s mad that we’ve barely talked,” Zuko told him as he accepted a cup of tea. “But that’s kinda his fault. He spent all that time with Yue instead of us.”

“I sense a hint of jealousy in both of you over the events in Agna Qel’a,” Uncle stroked his beard, thoughtfully.

“Jealousy?” Zuko frowned. “What does he have to be jealous of?”

Zuko was not about to deny his own jealousy. His best friend had practically abandoned him for Princess Yue, after all.

“Sokka was not the only one who began spending most of his time with someone else,” Uncle reminded him, as if reading his mind. “You and Katara became very close during your training.”

“Well, yeah,” Zuko shrugged. “We were in the same classes.”

“Indeed, but even outside those classes, you and Katara were together, and grew to be very close friends. Which is an incredibly good thing! But now, it seems to Sokka that Katara has replaced him,” Uncle Iroh explained. “To him, Katara has taken his place as your best friend and confidante, and you’ve given him little reason to think otherwise.”

Zuko sipped his tea, processing.

“Granted, you have a point in that Sokka shares some of the blame here, for ignoring all three of you in favor of what one might call a ‘fling.’ But relationships require more than one person, so if one is failing, then one must consider both sides.”

“He asked me this morning about my nightmares,” Zuko admitted. “And I brushed him off.”

Uncle Iroh cleared his throat. “I understand you are new to having friends, Nephew, but that may not have been the best choice. You don’t have to tell the people you care about everything there is to know about you, but you must remember that those who care about you will always worry about you. And talking through your problems, like you are right now, can be very therapeutic.”

Zuko’s shoulders slumped. “I guess I should apologize.”

“Not yet,” said Uncle. “For there is another matter we must discuss.”

Zuko raised his head, knowing what was coming.

“I don’t need to tell you how much I disapprove of your plans with Fong,” Uncle set his tea down. “But tell me, have you really thought this through? Do you truly think it wise to experiment with a power that you may not be able to control?”

The former prince lowered his head. “I have to try, Uncle. So many have died because of my people - my family - and I can’t sit back and let it continue to happen. I can’t let anyone else lose a son.”

“You’re not allowing any of this, Prince Zuko,” Uncle insisted, his eyes watery. “You have willingly taken up your role as the Avatar and saved hundreds of lives. And you are actively moving forward in your training with the four elements.”

“But I’ve completely ignored the Avatar State!” Zuko argued. “How can I fight my father without being able to control it?”

Uncle’s brow furrowed. “I am not asking you to give up in your efforts to master the Avatar State. I am asking you not to let someone else attempt to abuse it as Fong intends to.”

“Is it really abusing it if it’s for the greater good?” Zuko asked.

“Is it really the greater good if someone other than the Avatar finds a reliable way to trigger it at his own whim?” Uncle shot back.

Zuko hadn’t thought of it that way. Was there a danger in allowing someone like Fong, or anyone else, to have some form of control over him?

He took a deep breath. “I’ve already agreed to give him the day. He’ll probably fail anyway, so it won’t matter in the end. We’ll just have wasted one day.”

Uncle nodded solemnly. “I will be nearby if anything goes wrong.”

“Promise?”

“You have my word, Nephew.”

When Sokka returned, Iroh left the room with Katara, citing a wish to see the sunset.

Sokka sat down on his bed, while Zuko sharpened his swords in his corner.

“I’m sorry for pushing you,” Sokka finally said. “It’s not my business why you do some things.”

Zuko set his swords down. “I’m sorry, too, for ignoring you. I know you want to help me get through my nightmares, and pushing you away was wrong.”

They stared at each other from across the room before they both looked down again.

Sokka broke the silence once again. “You know, I never had a male friend my age growing up. All the other boys were either way older or way younger.”

“Same here,” Zuko said. “I was never around anyone my age apart from my sister and a couple of her friends. Lu Ten was a lot older.”

“You two were really close, huh?” asked Sokka, leaning forward.

Zuko smiled, picturing his cousin in his mind. “He was like an older brother to me.”

Glancing up, he could see a question in Sokka’s eyes, though the warrior seemed unsure whether he could ask.

“Go ahead,” Zuko said. “The worst that happens is I don’t answer you.”

Sokka rubbed the back of his neck. “How did you get that scar?”

“What scar?” Zuko asked in monotone, pretending to channel Maolon.

The other boy stared at him in disbelief. “The one… right there… over… wait, are you pulling my leg?”

Zuko laughed, and after a moment, he heard Sokka join him.

The door opened as Katara, Aang, and Uncle re-entered the room.

“Well, that’s a good sign,” Aang noted. “You two are laughing again.”

Sokka fell back on his mattress in frustration. “Yeah, and you had to interrupt right before he was going to tell me where he got his scar!”

Katara and Aang froze.

“Were you?” she asked. “We can leave…”

Zuko thought about it. Was he ready? Was there really anything holding him back?

He sighed, unable to put himself through any more emotional turmoil for the day. “I’m sorry, Sokka. I’m not ready to talk about it yet.”

“Oh, that’s okay,” Sokka replied, genuinely accepting it this time.

No one else pushed him, either, which he was grateful for as he laid down for yet another restless night.