Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He’s late.

Sasuke sighs, checks the time, glares at his phone, and sighs again.  He taps his foot impatiently.  Wonders whether it’s worth it to tell Sakura he’ll be late.  He still has to get across town too, and by the time he leaves, it’ll be peak hour and the subway will be overloaded, and that will only put him in a worse mood.

Which makes drumming the perfect outlet, actually, but he’s still not keen on showing up to band practise late because some idiot from facebook can’t keep track of the goddamn time.

Finally, there’s a knock on the door.  Sasuke launches himself from his couch, stomping across the apartment and shoving the front door to the side.  

“You’re late,” he says.  Pretty much growls.  He’d be up for yelling a bit, but he has a first impression to make too.

“Sorry, man!” The boy in front of Sasuke replies.

Sasuke looks this guy up and down, trying to match him to the emails they’ve been exchanging.  Naruto replied to Sasuke’s ‘roommate wanted’ ad on facebook a little over a week ago.  Sasuke had glossed over Naruto’s facebook page, and saw various photos of big smiles, lots of rainbows, but mostly photographs of burning sunsets and sprawling, city views.  Endless images from all over the world.  

Nothing that hinted he was hiding dead bodies under floorboards, so Sasuke asked him to come check the place out.

Now Naruto stands before him, wearing a sleeveless jacket and pants so oversized they couldn’t fit anyone let alone the scrawny man inside them.  A headband is wrapped around his forehead, a line of different coloured, glass beads hangs in a woven line beside his eyes.  

Naruto smiles.  Smiles.   Like Sasuke doesn’t have other shit to do and other places he’d prefer to be.  

“I read the address wrong and ended up at the wrong end of the street,” Naruto continues.  “For what it’s worth, the guys there were not happy to see me either.”

Sasuke grumbles an affirmative, then steps aside to let Naruto walk past him.

Through their exchange, Sasuke had learnt Naruto needs a cheap place to live, but can’t sign a lease.  Usually an aversion to putting your name on a legal document holding you accountable for paying equal share of the rent should be a red flag, but Naruto explained it’s because he doesn’t know how long he’s staying.  He travels a lot.  As soon as he has money, he wrote in his own words, he’s leaving in search for the next phase in his life’s journey.  

Sasuke said he’s fine with that as long as Naruto gives notice.

Naruto looks around the apartment, takes it all in, letting it meet his expectations.  Or destroy them, depending on his standards.

“Like I said on messenger,” Sasuke begins to explain.  “Open living was coined for a place like this.”

He’s not joking.  The place is just one giant room, in terrible need of a paint job, with exposed brick walls and pipes rattling on the ceiling.  Everywhere, everything is easy to see.  The kitchen makes up one corner, while the two others make up what would be bedrooms if anyone had ever bothered to build walls.  The space for the living room stands in the middle of it all, with a questionable television set and several giant cushions instead of a couch.  Even the bathroom is only a section of the place tiled off, like someone started building the remnants of a bathroom and then gave up, so now it's just that.  A shower tub rusting into the corner, drawn with a ratty plastic curtain, and a toilet chained to the wall.  

“But everything works,” Sasuke continues once Naruto has had his first eyefill.  “I’ve never had a problem with the electricity or plumbing and the bills come pretty cheap.  Then again, it’s not like we’re paying for heating.”

Naruto is still swivelling around, eyeing the different ‘rooms’.  Naruto nods to the couch pushed up against one wall, surrounded by piles of black clothes, record vinyl sleeves and sheet music.

“That yours?”

Sasuke nods.  Sasuke then jerks his chin toward the opposite corner of the apartment, where a loft bed still sits erect under the windows.  

“That would be yours.  I don’t know if the other guy is ever coming back for his shit, but I say finder’s keepers.”

Sasuke’s ex-roommate could be dead for all he knows, and for clarity, he doesn’t actually care.  He’s more annoyed the guy left while he still owed Sasuke two weeks' share of his rent.  That should have been his first sign the guy was going to leave town.

“This is so rad!” Naruto is under the loft, inspecting the desk still littered with papers and the remaining items Sasuke’s ex-roommate left behind.  “There’s so much sunlight; my tomats are gonna love this.”

Did Sasuke hear that right?

“Your tomats?” he asks.

Naruto stands up straight and meets Sasuke’s eyes.

“Yeah.  My cherry tomatoes.  I grow my own.”

This should have been Sasuke’s first sign that he and this guy weren’t going to be compatible living together.  Then again, neither was Sasuke and his last roommate.  Neither is Sasuke and any sane human being.  But he’s also the victim of a capitalistic hellscape, and can’t afford this place on his own for much longer.  

So he ignores it.  He chooses to ignore it.

“Right.  Whatever,” Sasuke mutters.  “You said you were neat.”

Naruto walks past Sasuke to the kitchen, opening cupboards and inspecting the insides.  Sasuke has already mentioned Naruto can use his pots and pans, but he won’t go vegan, so cross contamination is just something Naruto might have to deal with.  Or ‘vibe with’, was Naruto’s response.  

“Yeah, I am,” Naruto says as he pokes at the coffee machine.  It’s a relic and burns more coffee than it spits out.  

“And you’re okay with loud music?”

Naruto’s eyes flit to the drum kit by the couch.  

“Totally.  Be your bliss!”

“Be my what?” Sasuke asks, but Naruto is already walking to the bookshelf, running his fingers along the spines, surveying Sasuke’s taste in literature.  Not that he has much consistency.  It’s mostly old books he buys at op-shops because they look cool.

“By the way, when’s your birthday?” Naruto asks.  He’s still distracted by the books.

Another red flag showing, Sasuke’s hackles raise, and his instincts begin to scream flight .  Why is this guy getting so personal with Sasuke when he hasn’t even agreed to move in? 

Why is he getting so personal at all?

“Why?” Sasuke asks, incredulously.

“I wanna know your star sign.”

Naruto could be talking in tongues and Sasuke would still gift him with the same frown.

“I’m a leo.”

Naruto turns on the heel of his combat boots.  “Sun, moon or rising?”

Oh no.  Oh god.  

He’s one of those.

Sasuke, trying to keep his rude edge inside his pockets with his clenched fists, shrugs.

“I’m a libra sun,” Naruto provides.  Sasuke’s eyebrow twitches.  Like what is that supposed to mean?  “But I’m a cancer moon.”

Sasuke makes himself stay quiet.

“Okay,” he says.  “Look, this apartment isn’t worth much but it has what it’s worth.  The only thing is privacy.  As in, clearly, there is none.”

This is what seems to wipe the smile of Naruto’s face, and Sasuke tenses.  This is usually what gets everybody.  This place was never meant to be inhabited, much less built for cohabitation.  Sasuke has met a few potential roommates already and, unfortunately, when he meets someone willing to live in a shell like this, it’s usually because there’s something about their situation that has made them desperate enough to live in a shell like this; that there’s something wrong with them.

Sasuke gets it.  There’s something wrong with him too.  

But two wrongs in one, very open, very clear floor plan does not make anything right.

Sasuke watches Naruto’s shoulders, the way his eyes seem to tighten while looking at Sasuke.  Like he’s calculating his answer before he speaks.

“I’m cool with it, if you are.” 

Sasuke rolls his eyes.  “Obviously, I am.  Or you wouldn’t be here.”

Naruto continues to dance in place.  “But about what I said before.”  Naruto said a lot of things before; not all of it made sense.  “I just need somewhere safe.”   This is when Naruto meets Sasuke’s eyes, and Sasuke finally sees the stress inlaid in the colour of them.  “I need somewhere safe for someone trans.”

Sasuke fixes Naruto with a hard look.  He does remember naruto dropping that in amongst the few messages they had exchanged over the week.  He also remembers being more concerned with how Naruto was going to pay his rent.  Sasuke’s not letting him move in on vibes and an ‘I’m good for it’.  

“You could identify as a cherry tomato yourself for all I care; just pay your rent and we won’t have a problem.”

Naruto blinks, and his frown transforms into a wide grin within a moment.

“Deal!”

And they were roommates.

Naruto said he didn’t have much in the way of things to move in with.  Most of his belongings fit in a backpack.  He still manages to make the place his own within a few days.  Sasuke helps him clear out some of his old roommates junk, while Naruto claims the rest.  Like the bedsheets and some of the empty notebooks.  Most of it, they stuff into garbage bags and leave it on the curb.  When Sasuke gets back up the stairs from dumping the last of it, he spies Naruto in the loft, knees pressing into the mattress, affixing something to the beam above him.

“Is that a dreamcatcher?” Sasuke asks.  He’s been trying to keep his judgement of Naruto’s lifestyle to himself, but this one slips out a little more condescending than it should have.  Naruto doesn’t seem to notice.

“Dreamcatchers need to be woven by a member of indigenous culture to be authentic; and most of the ones I find are mass-produced.  Besides, I move around too much to keep from damaging one; which is mad disrespectful,” Naruto says, while not turning around.  Sasuke blinks.  He’s pretty sure he can understand all those words separately.  Naruto still isn’t paying attention.  “This is just a wind chime!”

It’s nothing but a gold wire stringed with pretty coloured rocks and some extra chains.  Naruto sits back to admire his handiwork and the rays of light filtering in through the skylight by Naruto’s new bed catch across the uneven surfaces and cast rainbows across his space.  A beam colours his already blue eyes in a ray of aquamarine.

“I can make you one too!” Naruto declares.  “As a thanks for letting me crash here!”

Sasuke tuts.  “I’m good.”

He makes his way to the centre of the apartment, yanks his drumsticks out of his back pocket and falls onto one of the cushions by the TV.  He starts tapping out a beat on his knees.

He hears Naruto scramble from his loft and make his way over.

“Do you play in a band?” he asks.  Sasuke looks at Naruto.  It’s technically still winter, and it’s been a pretty harsh one besides.  Obviously, this apartment has no central heating, or heating at all, and Sasuke has to make do with wearing his winter coat even at home.  Naruto is walking around in an unbuttoned vest, chest on full display beneath, the pants he wore when Sasuke first met him and bare feet.

Sasuke feels like his own temperature drop just looking at him.

“How are you not freezing?”

Naruto frowns.  “It’s rude to answer a question with a question.”

“Yes, I play in a band,” Sasuke rolls his eyes.  He sits up a little, because Naruto being able to leer over him is kind of unnerving.  “How are you not freezing?” He repeats.

Naruto shrugs.  “I’ve always run hot.  Besides, I paid a lot of money for this chest.  I’m not about to hide it under a shirt!”

He walks away.  Sasuke is left to consider that piece of information, pondering its meaning, before he catches Naruto’s scars.  The ones that line the shape of his (actually, incredibly defined) pectoral muscles.  Sasuke places a hand to his own chest.

It’s weird, being confronted with his own privilege.  A different kind of privilege he hadn’t considered before.  It’s not like Sasuke is of the majority that could only fail upwards.  He’s Asian and queer.  Of course he knows what discrimination feels like, but he’s never had to battle with his own gender.  Never had to sit with the confusion of how he sees himself.

Naruto hums as he works in the kitchen, locating a frying pan and grabbing his groceries from the fridge.

“Do you want eggs?” He calls over his shoulder.

“I thought you were vegan.”

“Do you want vegan eggs?”

Sasuke shudders, manages a tentatively polite ‘no thanks’ and flops back into the cushions, tapping out a new beat against his knees.

“I want to meet him!” Sakura whines, stomping up the street behind Sasuke.  

“I promise you, you don’t,” Sasuke replies.  Ino and Hinata are a little ways behind them, quietly talking, ignoring them both.

“You haven’t stopped complaining about him since he moved in.  I need to see what all the fuss is about!”  

“You’ll meet him eventually.”  

Eventually never, Sasuke hopes.  It’s been two weeks but Naruto is already driving him crazy.  It’s not that he’s loud, or messy, and regardless of how differently they live, Naruto is pretty good at respecting boundaries.  He’s home as often as Sasuke is, which is rarely.  He got a job as a bike messenger a few days after moving in, and although he can choose his own hours, he’s usually out the door in the breaking hours of dawn, just as Sasuke is returning home from his own job at an events venue unloading crates of beer and wine.

Logically, besides still whining about wanting to know Sasuke’s ‘moon and rising’ signs, Naruto does nothing that should piss Sasuke off.  Logically, besides offering to help align Sasuke’s chakras, he’s the ideal roommate.

And Sasuke wants to punch his face everytime he sees him.

“C’mon, Sasuke!” Sakura continues.  “If we meet him and hate him as much as you do, then you’ll have someone to complain with.”

Sasuke stops.  Considers this.  Mutters a ‘dammit’.  He meets Sakura’s grin, knowing she’s got him.  That nothing bonds Sasuke with anyone more than anger.  Especially anger at people.

They agree to go back to Sasuke’s apartment for pizza.  The girls usually hate his apartment, the lack of heating making it unbearable, and while it fills with sweltering heat in the summer, there’s only about two good months at opposite ends of the year where they all hang out there.  Otherwise they go to diners, meet up after work or wait for band practice.

Sasuke slides the apartment door open to the smell of something unfamiliar, but it smells warm and tangy and rich with flavour.

Naruto is busy in the kitchen, a sweatband around his forehead, tongue poking out between his lips as he dutifully stands over the pot.

“Hey, Sasuke!  I’m making ramen!  Do you want any?” he glances up, sees Sasuke and the trio of girls hanging over his shoulder, and his cheeks go flush.  He laughs nervously.  “Give me another twenty and I can make enough for everyone.”

Sakura takes a deep sniff of the aroma filling the apartment.

“That smells amazing!  Forget the pizza.  Sasuke, you didn’t tell me he could cook!”

Because Sasuke has never tried his cooking.  

It’s not like Sasuke is adamant about having meat in every meal, but he feels some dishes should remain as non-vegan as possible.  Preferably ones with meat in the title.  Butter chicken and pork belly broth come to mind, all concoctions Naruto remakes, substituting the meat for his own ingredients.  Admittedly, it never looks bad.

The girls approach Naruto, whose blush is spreading fast from his cheeks, down his neck, and turning his still bare chest a nice shade of pink.  They introduce themselves.

“Wow, I didn’t know Sasuke was such a ladies man!” He cackles.  

Sakura and Ino erupt into giggles.

“He wishes!” Ino declares.  “I think we’ve kissed more girls than he ever has!”

All four of them cackle.  At Sasuke’s expense.

He can feel that familiar migraine coming back.  The one that seems to travel from wherever Naruto is standing in the room to directly behind Sasuke’s eyeballs.

“Especially girls in this band!” 

More laughter.

“Need I remind you,” Sasuke interjects.  “The only reason I’ve kissed Sakura at all was because she was still deep in denial when I joined.  Then Ino completed the work of reminding her she’s a raging homosexual.”

Sakura and Ino, as blunt as they are, both raise their left hands.  Twin rings glint off their fingers.  White gold for Ino, rose gold for Sakura, but inscribed with one half of an anatomically correct heart.

Naruto beams at their rings.  “Congratulations!”

“It’s hard work,” Ino sighs, “but someone had to do it.”

“Or you’d still be hooking up with grumpy puss over there?” Naruto says, jerking his chin to Sasuke.  Laughter fills the space again.

Sasuke is confused.  How did he become the butt of their jokes?  This was meant to be a recon mission so they could all hate Naruto.

“Naruto,” Hinata calls, having made her way over to his loft.  “This is a beautiful wind chime.  Did you make it?”

“A-huh!” Naruto agrees proudly.  “It’s a crystal geode for harmony and balance, with beads of malachite for protection, and some moonstone-”

“For inner peace,” Hinata explains.  “That’s wonderful.”

Sasuke can only stare at them both in turn.  They may as well be speaking another language.

Naruto announces dinner is ready, and balances out broth, vegetables and noodles evenly in Sasuke’s unmatching bowls.  Sasuke’s stomach grumbles at the smell.  He’ll admit; it does smell amazing.

Everyone agrees as they huddle around the coffee table and take turns sampling Naruto’s soup.  Humming in pleased tones, mixed with Ino’s outright volatile moans of pleasure.

“Sasuke, I might come over more often if Naruto is going to cook like this!” she exclaims.

Naruto looks more than pleased with himself.  “You’re welcome!  I love cooking for people!”

Sasuke is halfway through his own bowl, taking burning swallows of broth by the mouthful.  It tastes better than it smells.  The vegetables are crispy even lying amongst the boiling water.  The noodles are just on the firm side, like Sasuke likes them.  The ginger is sharp on his tongue, and the garlic is doing a good job of clearing his once burgeoning headache.

Even the tofu is full of flavour, melting on Sasuke’s tongue.  

“It’s alright, I guess,” he mutters.  When he glances up, he catches Naruto’s shit-eating grin, blue eyes being able to see through him instantaneously.

Once they’ve all helped themselves to seconds, Naruto starts asking about the band.

Unfortunately, Sakura is a few beers in, which means her usual polite exclamations are now rowdy jeering of excitement.  

“We’re Dead Girls Rocking!!   You have to write it with the two exclamation points.  Two!”   

“Dead Girls Rocking!!?” Naruto lifts an eyebrow at Sasuke.

Sasuke snorts.  “I was meant to be a temp.”

Sakura laughs.  “We’ve known each other since high school, but had only really played together for fun.  But two years ago, our last drummer had an existential crisis and decided she didn’t want to be a drummer anymore, like, two minutes before a show!  I ran into the crowd and grabbed Sasuke, begged him to fill in, and now we’re stuck with him!”

Naruto is smiling wide now, fully settled into this weird group that has commodified his living space.  “Are you guys on Spotify?” Naruto looks eager.

“We’re on Youtube!” Ino announces.  She’s already reaching for Sasuke’s laptop, typing in the password, and bringing up their channel homepage.  She scrolls through a few of their latest band practice clips, before deciding on a music video from their latest show.  It also happens to have the most views.  

It’s a cover of Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne, but if anything, they decided to go harder.  Sasuke remembers hitting the drums as hard as he could, Ino wrote a new guitar riff for the bridge, and Sakura was left to dance around the stage while screaming into the microphone.  

There might have been a few meaningful glances shared Ino’s way the camera did a great job of capturing.

Naruto is transfixed by the video.  Sasuke quietly sips his beer.

“You guys are awesome!” he says, half way through the song.  

His face lights up on a particular shot of Sasuke, where the videographer had snuck around to get a shot of him smashing the cymbals.  His hair is sweaty and hanging in his face, he can see his lungs moving quickly as he breathes in time with the beat.  It’s one of the only times he approved of someone getting a close up of him.  Usually, he prefers staying in the back, out of the way of the lights, left to hold up the song while the girls take the action.

The clip ends with Sakura locking lips with her fiance on stage, queers all throughout the crowd hollering their approval.

“When do I get to see you live?” Naruto immediately asks.

“We’re playing a club in a few weeks!  Come see us then!” Sakura says.  “Sasuke will put your name on the list!”

“Why do I have to do it?” Sasuke mutters.

“Because you guys are BFFs now!”

“When did I say that?”

Naruto giggles.  “Aw, Sasuke!  You don’t want to be BFFs with me?  I can make us friendship bracelets!”

Sasuke gags.  Everyone erupts into raucous laughter.

It’s kind of a really good night.

Chapter Text

The weeks move steadily along.  They still rarely see each other, but at least the times they do is no longer raught with a perilous amount of awkward.  Mostly it’s just one of them waiting for the other to finish in the shower.  Or in the kitchen.  Sometimes Sasuke will ask if he can hit out a beat, and Naruto will agree before pulling on his noise cancelling headphones and lounging across the living room pillows with a book.

It occurs to Sasuke, as he bites down on his drum sticks, holding them between his teeth to write something in his notebook, that this might be the most harmoniously he’s lived with someone for a very long time.  If Naruto has any complaints, he keeps them to himself, and Sasuke doesn’t have much to say about Naruto besides.

Despite Naruto eagerly reading Sasuke’s horoscope to him in the mornings, or when Sasuke is in a mood (but he’s always in a mood), they get along just fine.

Today is the first day Sasuke has let Naruto near his vinyl collection.  He’s careful with the records, taking none out of their sleeves, and keeping the pads of his fingers to the corners like Sasuke instructed.  Sasuke wonders aloud if Naruto even recognises any of the bands.

“Of course I recognise Queen,” Naruto says.  “I’m a spiritualist; not a shut-in!”  

Sasuke’s laugh is barking.

“What’s your favourite band?” Naruto asks.  He’s holding up a vinyl sleeve with a disturbingly grotesque illustration on it.  A skull, lit from the eyes and dripping hot wax into the already open wounds of a flayed man lying below it.  Sasuke doesn’t miss the face Naruto makes at it, but doesn’t think it’s admiration he sees, and decides not to tell Naruto he has a tattoo of the design on his thigh.  

“You wouldn’t know them,” Sasuke replies.  Naruto’s response is an overly dramatic and annoyed groan.

“Oh come on!   I just told you; I know music!  Try me!”

Sasuke rolls his eyes, but swivels his drum seat around so he’s facing Naruto completely.  Their eyes lock across the expanse of the apartment.

“They’re called For an Eye.   They were basically just a cover band in the eighties, didn’t really make it big enough to get out of their hometown, and only had one original hit that went big called Broken Y-”

“Broken Youth,” Naruto finishes.  “I know it.”

Sasuke’s jaw drops.  He can’t help the disbelieving look that leaves his eyes, boring into Naruto's crystalline blue ones.  Naruto meets the look with a determined one of his own, and to prove he’s not lying, he starts humming the tune, softly singing the chorus.  He doesn’t have the voice of an angel or anything, but Sasuke can respect Naruto’s skill to hold a tune.

Sasuke swallows.

“You had a thing for Kakashi, didn’t you?” Naruto has placed the sleeve down now, and has turned on the floor to look at Sasuke.

“How did you-”

“Because everyone had a thing for Kakashi!”

“Because he was underrated!  He could have become legendary!  He is legendary!” And Sasuke is off.  He’s tried before, to reign it in.  Despite Naruto being the only person Sasuke has ever met that knew For an Eye, at least before Sasuke mentioned them, he’s not the first one to hear Sasuke’s endless knowledge of the band that formed his dark and turned, twelve year old self.  His oral essays about each new twist they’d play to a cover to turn the song into their own.  The way they felt like they were singing for their fans, not to them.  

Naruto’s eyes are wide, blue and transfixed by Sasuke’s passion.  Sasuke hadn’t realised he’d moved from behind his drum kit to kneel on the floor by Naruto, pulling out each of their records in turn, going into incredible detail about every fact he knows about every song they have.

Naruto lets Sasuke talk.  And talk.  And talk.

But he’s listening.  

Sasuke knows.  Sasuke can tell.

“It’s pretty cool you know all that!” Naruto comments.  “They’d be impressed.”

They both watch as the record slowly rotates on the turntable, the bass and drums coming out of the speakers, filling Sasuke with that edge he can never recognise, but needs in his life more than oxygen.  

“Yeah, well,” he sneers.  “None of them have made a public appearance since ‘89.  I was born ‘92.”

“Damn, that sucks.  Kakashi loves that kind of passion for music.”

It’s weird, the way Naruto talks about the band.  Like he knows them.  Yet it’s also incredibly comforting that he’s not the only one who does.  Maybe someone else can understand why Sasuke loves and knows this band so deeply.  Maybe Naruto can appreciate them a little alongside Sasuke, and not brush off this obsession like Sasuke is being a music snob, when he can’t help he fell in love with a band so far from his lifetime.

The only noise now is the last chords of a rock ballad streaming from Sasuke’s speakers.  

“Was he, ya know, your one?” Naruto asks.  Sasuke looks at Naruto, confusion on his face.  “Like the one that turned you,” Naruto explains.

“He’s not the only one, but the main one, yeah,” Sasuke replies.

“Nice.”  Naruto comments.  “Mine was my high school English teacher.”

Sasuke lifts an eyebrow.  “Your english teacher was a drummer?”

Naruto meets Sasuke’s look with his own.  “I’m talking about who turned you queer!”

The song finishes and the room goes silent, before both of them collapse into laughter beside each other.

“Well, my answer still stands,” Sasuke says while wiping tears from his eyes.

“So does mine!”

Sasuke has work in thirty minutes, and he hasn’t showered since his last shift.  He doesn’t exactly smell, but he had been desperately wanting to wash his hair.  His can of dry shampoo makes a disappointingly, empty hiss at him when he aims it at his itchy scalp.

“Dammit,” he mutters.  “I’m borrowing your dry shampoo!” Sasuke calls to Naruto, who is in the kitchen, making a stir fry.  

He started cooking early so Sasuke would have food to take with him to work and wouldn’t have to make do with vending machine cheetos and monster energy drink for dinner again.  Sasuke is excited for the warm meal, especially if Naruto leaves the noodles a little firm again.  He might be even more excited to hold it gloatingly in front of Sakura.

“Don’t have any!” Naruto calls back over the sizzle of the oil in the wok.

Sasuke glares at Naruto.  His shoulders glisten slightly while he works.  Naruto is going on a record three days without wearing a shirt.

“How can you not use dry shampoo!?” He’s eyeing Naruto’s hair, which is maybe a little wilted under the steam of his cooking, but still dry and fluffy and pointing in every direction like it always is.  Sasuke has never seen it look anything less than a cloud of cotton on Naruto’s head.

“That stuff is so poisonous,” Naruto replies.

Sasuke rolls his eyes.  “Spare me the lecture; I don’t have time to shower today!”

Naruto makes quick work of taking their meal off the heat, turning off the stove and strolling across the entire apartment to the cabinet where they each have a door's width of space to use as they wish.  Sasuke never ventures into Naruto’s side, because it’s none of his business, but seeing the vials of oils and the rows of natural skin care he has makes Sasuke feel oilier than ever.

“Here!”  Naruto shoves a white bottle into his hand.  “Use this.”

Sasuke reads the label.  “Baby powder?”

“It’s all natural, easy on the skin, better for your hair and won’t destroy the ozone layer!  Wait, do we have cocoa powder?”  He races for the kitchen before Sasuke can answer.

They must, because Naruto cries in victory as he comes back to where Sasuke is still standing at the bathroom sink, confused and, to be honest, a little scared.

Naruto instructs Sasuke to bow his head over the sink while sprinkling a mixture of baby powder and cocoa over his hair, telling Sasuke to massage it in before brushing it out.  Sasuke follows the instructions under Naruto’s watchful eye.  When he’s done, he stares disbelievingly into their dingy, bathroom mirror.  

“See?” Naruto is carefully shutting both packs of powder before they fall and litter the tiles.  “Feel better?”

He doesn’t wait for a response this time, heading for the kitchen to finish dinner, and Sasuke finishes getting ready, sneaking sniffs from his bangs that now have a faint aroma of chocolate.  His scalp doesn’t itch either.

Naruto holds out Sasuke’s dinner as he heads for the door.  Sasuke takes it carefully.

“Thanks,” Sasuke mutters, not looking him in the eye.  Or the naked chest.

He can still hear Naruto’s smile.  “Don’t worry!  I always make too much anyway!”

Sasuke nods, before heading out to grab his bus before it leaves him on the sidewalk.  

His hair trails across his face as he rushes down the street, and the smell of Naruto seems to linger.  The smell of their apartment now carried with him.

Sasuke has never seen Naruto look so intense before.

“Okay, after some consideration, I think I got it,” Naruto is saying, scribbling on to a piece of paper before consulting the book he has open in front of him one last time.  Sakura, Ino and Hinata lean in closer.  Sasuke sighs from his place on his couch.  “Sakura, you’re an Aries sun and a Gemini moon, with an ascendant of Taurus.  Ino, you’re a Libra sun, like me!  But your moon sits above Capricorn while you were born under the ascendant of Leo.”

They both nod like they understand exactly what all that means, despite it being absolute gibberish.  Sasuke is fascinated by how much they seem taken by Naruto’s words.

Naruto returns their intense gaze with a studious one of his own.

“And I can say, in my totally unbiased opinion, I’ve never seen a couple more compatible than you two!”

The girls cheer. 

Sasuke rolls his eyes.

His look of disdain doesn’t stop Ino from pulling Sakura close and kissing her like Naruto just announced them brides in union.  

“Congratulations, you two!” Hinata calls, clapping delicately for them without a hint of irony.  Sasuke feels like he’s losing his mind.

“Ruled by Mars and Venus, you two are going to share long and prosperous lives together with great balance between you.  Sakura, you’re a fire sign, which can only be fanned by Ino’s air-sign qualities.”

They haven’t stopped kissing.

Sasuke grumbles, getting off his couch and moving to open a bag of crisps from the kitchen.  All four of them have been at this for hours.  Trading horoscopes and star signs and star charts.  Naruto even let them go through his crystal collection.  He said he’d make pendants out of any they chose would best help better enrich their emotional connections to life.  

Honestly, he’s trying not to be such a downer about it all; they sure look like they’re having fun at least, but it’s starting to worry him how seriously they all seem to be taking this.  He can’t help but be concerned if Sakura and Ino really believe the foundation of their entire relationship hangs in the balance of the stars and some made up lore to go with them.

After another half hour of this, discussing the importance of focusing on their individual chakras and after Naruto gives them stones to rub when they feel anxious, Ino and Sakura call it a night.  They hug Naruto tightly and thank him for the fun, and for the food.  Naruto made pizza; the kitchen is still coated in flour from when he made the dough from scratch, but it was fucking delicious, even with vegan cheese.

Then it’s just Sasuke, Naruto and Hinata remaining.  Sasuke mentions he’s going to bed, turns off any lights in his corner, and bundles up under the covers.  It’s getting warmer, thankfully, and Sasuke is looking forward to not having to sleep in a thousand layers that all shift around him and attempt to choke him through the night.

Naruto and Hinata continue to talk softly.  It’s well known there is no privacy in the apartment, so Sasuke doesn’t consider it eavesdropping as he begins to catch snippets of their hushed conversation.

“Naruto,” Hinata starts, “Which signs are compatible with mine?”

Sasuke congratulates himself on refraining from making a loud snort into his pillow.

Naruto hums.  “You need another earth sign to compliment your stability in life, like Virgo or Taurus.  Maybe someone who’s more fluid to balance you out, like Cancer or Pisces.  But I’ve heard Capricorns go best with Scorpios.”

Hinata makes a noise.  Is that disappointment Sasuke hears?  What was she hoping for?

“Do you think I could match with someone else?”

To Sasuke’s surprise, he hears Naruto scoff.  “Of course!  Hinata, the stars are just guides to our fate, not authors of it!  If you wanna mash with an Aquarius, mash with an Aquarius.  It’s harder with incompatible signs, sure, but all relationships are hard.”

Despite the childlike wonder Naruto always seems to gift those around him, Sasuke has never heard him sound so mature, and for once, Sasuke sees a little sense in the fairy talk he uses.

Hinata hums.  “And you?” she asks, tentatively.  “Would you ever love a sign you think isn’t compatible with yours?”

Silence follows.  It’s almost tense.  Sasuke isn’t sure why; based on everything else anyone has asked all night, it seems a pretty straight forward question.

Naruto laughs, and Sasuke can hear something unstable escape from his lungs.

“It’s kind of hard for me to be compatible with anyone, Hinata.”

He sounds so sad.  Sasuke’s eyes open.  He’s turned away from them, they won’t be able to tell he’s still awake, and he listens carefully for Hinata’s response.

“That can’t all be true!  You’re one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met!”

She’s not wrong; Naruto is annoying, a little eccentric, but he’s never said a bad thing to Sasuke or about him since they met.

Naruto laughs a little louder, but it's forceful and sharp.  Grating.  Not at all the easy sound Sasuke usually hears when Naruto tells a bad joke or gets a hefty tip from work.

“Sometimes being a nice guy isn’t enough.”

They seem to leave it at that, and their conversation deters away from star signs and love charts entirely.  Sasuke doesn’t listen to the rest of their conversation, too busy rolling Naruto’s words around and around in his head, curiosity burning him from the inside out.

What does Naruto mean by that?  Who hurt him in the past to make him believe he's not worthy of love now?  What would his star sign compatibility have to do with that?  If he believes in it all so strongly, he’d just go out and find a Gemini or Aquarius to settle down with (yes, Sasuke glanced at the chart).

The confusion tires him and he begins to drift off, figuring it can become tomorrow's problem if he could still be bothered to care by then.

It’s when he hears Naruto bid Hinata good night, the apartment door creaking open and sliding shut, Naruto shuffling around to finish tidying up and making his way to his own loft, does Sasuke begin to understand, that whatever he meant by that, it runs so much deeper than what the stars could ever foretell.

Chapter Text

It’s Naruto’s first time seeing Dead Girls Rocking!! And he hasn’t shut up about it all week.  He keeps asking Sasuke what to wear.  How early should he get there to get a good spot?  Should he bring a gift?  

“What?  Who the hell brings a gift to a concert for a D-grade band?” Sasuke hisses while he fixes his hair.  It’s really not cooperating with him tonight.  He gives it another coat of hair spray in retaliation.

“I don’t know!” Naruto whines.  He’s in his own corner of the apartment.  Sasuke can hear him rifling through his belongings, and can’t tell if it’s because he’s still looking for something to wear or something to bring.  Maybe both.  “I’ve never been to a concert for a D-grade band before!”

Sasuke rolls his eyes.

“Just buy us a round at the bar,” he suggests.

“That’s so boring!” Naruto replies, before making a noise of victory, like he always does when he finds something he’s been looking for.  Sasuke has moved into the kitchen, downing a glass of water when Naruto crawls out from under his loft.  Sasuke swallows.

Naruto looks good.  He’s got fitted jeans on (for once), and while he’s not opting for shirtless this time, the deep rip in his white shirt coupled with his combat boots and his usual headband give him a sort of pirate edge.  He’s pulling on several beaded bracelets and adjusting some bulky rings of various stones.

“This okay?” Naruto asks.  He’s clearly nervous.

Sasuke doesn’t know why; it’s not Naruto who’s performing.

“Yeah,” Sasuke says.  “Yeah, you look okay.”

Naruto beams, and it does something to Sasuke.  Seeing Naruto dressed and ready is like a timer going off; the show is sooner than ever.

The band has played their share of bars and clubs before, but each new room they find themselves in seems to draw a bigger and bigger crowd.  Their social media pages have a pretty good number of followers, but it’s only been this year have they started seeing regulars in their comments section; some even filing into their DMs.

Ino drives them in, her van loaded with their gear, and Naruto helps them all unpack.

“Hinata, don’t strain yourself!” Naruto warns her, grabbing her bass case by the handle and hauling it into the building with a box of wires under his other arm.  Hinata stammers, flushes, tucks her hair behind her ear.  Sasuke glances between them.

Since that night in their apartment, huddled together over star charts and talking about fate, Sasuke has seen those two only grow warmer and warmer toward one another.  He’s not sure how he feels about Hinata dating his roommate.  If Naruto breaks her heart, she might want to stop seeing Sasuke by association, which means she could quit the band.  Or they’ll get serious and want to move in together, leaving Sasuke scrolling facebook for the least craziest person in the city again.

But beside his genuine kindness that he expresses to everybody, Naruto hasn’t seemed to notice Hinata’s effections.  Sasuke tells himself it’s none of his business whether he eventually does or not.

Sasuke is busy screwing his cymbals in place, when he looks up to see Naruto shuffling along the stage on his knees. He looks like he's picking up litter off the clubroom floor.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke asks. It might come out sounding a little more judgemental than intended.

"I’m making good luck charms!”  Naruto says, like that explains anything.  “I need something with the lingering energy of this place." 

Sasuke sees Naruto holding an old ticket stub, a scrunched up bar menu, someone's number written on a napkin.

He rolls his eyes, returning to concentrate on his drums.  He’s pulled out of his concentration when Naruto slips the ticket stub into his hand, the words insidiously talented scrawled across it in Naruto’s gritty writing.

“What does that even mean?” Sasuke mutters, not really expecting an answer, but pockets the stub anyway.

Naruto doesn’t hear him, taking turns to pass out his remaining litter to the girls.  

“Ino, what’d you get?” Sakura asks when Naruto walks away.

“Imperfection at its finest,” Ino replies, lifting up her own gift.

Sakura displays hers proudly.  “Outshine the stars.”

“Mine just says based?” Hinata is clutching hers between two fingers, looking at it, slightly terrified.

Ino and Sakura almost fall over in laughter.  Hinata gives them questioning looks.

“It’s slang,” Sasuke offers, settling behind his drum kit now and adjusting his seat.  “It’s the internet’s equivalent of ‘you rock’.  I think he’s trying to make a pun.”

This seems to cheer Hinata up.

Sound check is over in a heartbeat.  A crowd begins to gather in another, and before he can blink, Sakura is taking her place behind the microphone.  She introduces them, as a band and as individuals.  The stage lights are too bright, and Sasuke can’t make out anyone particular in the crowd, but he thinks he catches the glint of Naruto’s rings from somewhere down the front.

“We are Dead Girls Rocking!!” Sakura calls, their last chance to come to terms with themselves before Sasuke will count them down for their first song.  “About to make you come alive!”

Sasuke lifts his drum sticks, slams them together for the first telltale signs of a good beat, and the music starts.

“That was incredible!” Naruto cheers as soon as they make their way off the stage and into the crowd.  “You guys had such good energy!  I could feel it through the floorboards!”

 “Thanks, Naruto!” Sakura squeals. 

Naruto hugs each of the girls.  He seems to pause at Sasuke, sensing what he’s about to say next.

“I don’t do hugs,” Sasuke says, confirming Naruto’s good intuition.  Naruto cackles, patting Sasuke on his sweaty shoulder instead.  “But I do beer.”

Naruto nods, and motions for the bartender.  He buys them the first round, and Sasuke lets the alcohol mix with the adrenaline still in his veins.  There’s nothing like the high from a show.  The excitement that hangs in the air before, during and after.  As soon as the buzz hits, they make their way to the floor to join the crowd cheering for the other bands.  They’re all pretty good, but not as good as them, Sasuke proudly thinks.

Beside him, Naruto is grinning from ear to ear, basking in the lights and the noise and the heady rush of doing something fun with new-found friends.

Sasuke loses track of how much he drinks as they each take turns buying rounds of mixers and liquor, which explains why he suddenly finds himself grasping empty air for something, anything, to keep him upright.  He manages to find purchase on a strong shoulder, and grips it for dear life.

“You good?” Naruto asks, the owner of the shoulder.  He’s still grinning.  Sasuke nods and tries to focus his eyes.

“Im’ma sit down,” he yells over the music.  He’s grateful Naruto follows him, keeping him steady until they’re outside.  The bar has a small, outdoor alcove.  It’s not really any quieter, but the fresh air and change in atmosphere is welcome.  Blissfully, they find an empty table and collapse into the same bench on one side of it.

“You sure can handle your alcohol,” Naruto comments.  He’s a little too close to Sasuke on the seat.  Sasuke’s entire left side is warm from him.  He blinks, focusing on Naruto, whose eyes still sparkle under the line of warm light hanging in a string above them.  Sasuke notices, for maybe the first time, the intense shade of blue they are.  They’re almost as bright as the crystal that hangs from Naruto’s neck.

Sasuke reaches out and twists the necklace in his fingers, eyeing the small rock.

“So what’s this do?” Sasuke asks.  “Grants your wishes or something?”

“You’ve got it all wrong!”  Naruto laughs, but lets Sasuke continue to admire the stone in his fingers.  “That’s not how crystals work.  They only amplify your energy, but the hard work starts with you.  They can only influence as much as you’re willing to try.”

Sasuke snorts.  He pauses, and for a split second, he worries he’s offended Naruto, but Naruto is still wearing his big, doofy grin.

“So what’s this one for?” Sasuke tries again.  He’s still having a little trouble focusing, but narrowing his focus to only Naruto seems to be helping.

“It’s opal; my birthstone.  It’s good for purifying energy, and bringing hope.”  Sasuke gives it one last roll under his thumb before letting it drop back against Naruto’s chest.  “Someone special gave it to me.”

Sasuke stiffens.  For a moment, he thinks Naruto means an old lover, but when he glances at Naruto's face, there’s a hint of grey in the smile he was wearing only moments before.

“Like, a partner?” Sasuke still asks.  He doesn’t know why he suddenly cares so much.

Naruto shakes his head.  “My godfather.  He said it belonged to someone special to him.”

Sasuke nods, expecting that to be the end of it.  Why should they keep talking?  It’s not like he wants to know Naruto’s tragic backstory.  He doesn’t care if Naruto was orphaned and had to fight the world on his own for a place in it.  

But there’s a shared energy between them that even Sasuke can read.

“I grew up without my parents as well.”

Naruto meets Sasuke’s eyes.  They’re outside a packed club with live music on a Friday night. Sometimes the courtyard is so crowded the door can’t close, so there’s no real difference between the two spaces.  There are a dozen witnesses, but it feels like just them.

“What happened?” Naruto asks.  It’s not with the morbid curiosity people usually have as soon as they learn about Sasuke’s parents.  Like they want to know so they can help.  So they can fix him.  No, Naruto is asking because Sasuke wants to tell him.

  “Plane crash,” Sasuke shrugs.  “Killed them instantly.  It was just me and my brother for a while, then he fucked off too.  I mean, he was trying to make us money, but you don’t understand all that big adult shit when you’re a kid.  You just get angrier and angrier everytime you come home to an empty apartment.”

Naruto seems to be considering this.

“I didn’t know any of my family until I was twelve.  I didn’t even know I had a family.”

It’s not Naruto trying to ‘out-tragedy’ Sasuke.  It’s him sharing an intimate part of himself; an offering of equal exchange.

“But one day this pervy, old guy shows up at my foster home crying my name,” Naruto continues.  “He said he didn’t even know my parents were gone, or that I even existed.  He found out from some lawyer just dropping it casually into conversation.  I was legally meant to stay with him when my parents passed, but I guess that got lost in amongst everything else, so he didn’t know about me until some lawyer called about the stuff they were leaving him, and then added ‘what do you want to do about the kid?’”

Then again, if he is trying to out-tragedy Sasuke, he’s winning.

“That’s fucking shit,” Sasuke says.

Naruto laughs a little harder than is necessary.  “Yeah!  It really is!”

“Imagine losing a whole-ass kid,” Sasuke mutters.  Naruto laughs even harder.  “Wait, did you say you stayed with a pervert?”

Naruto laughs harder.  “Yeah, he’s real weird, but he’d never hurt anyone!  He just really likes boobs.”

Sasuke can tell, despite that weird factoid, how much Naruto cares about his guardian.

“Sometimes I feel like I was raised by music,” Sasue mumbles.  He doesn’t expect Naruto to hear it over the guitar and crashing of the drums still playing -the door is propper open again- but Naruto hears.  Naruto listens.  “There was always some new guitarist or singer or drummer to look up to.  Someone to teach me something new.  Someone to teach me anger is okay, that feeling alone is natural.  And it’s fucking hard, but that’s okay too.”

Naruto hums.  “My godfather was into music too.  He loved letting me hold his banjo, even though it was years before I could hold it properly on my own.  I was a small kid.”  This intrigues Sasuke more than he thought it would.  “He spent a lot of time managing a bunch of different bands.  The members would come over to the house sometimes and they’d rock out in the garage and he’d pretend to be mad when they snuck me beer and cigarettes.”

Naruto’s house sounds so unsafe for a kid, but he talks about it with such delicate reverence, like he knows his guardian was doing the best he could.  

Sasuke is kind of jealous.  It’s like when his life began to fall apart and he was left alone to figure out who he was, Naruto was finally given the chance to find himself with guidance.  Their lives are total opposites, their fates grinding against one another in an incompatible fit.

Maybe that’s the part that irks Sasuke about Naruto the most.  He understands so little about Sasuke and his childhood, yet understands so much of it, it’s almost intimate.

A man with slicked back hair and a cigarette dangling between his lips approaches them.  He stands there, waiting for something, surveying them both.  His eyes settle on Sasuke.  “Hey,” he says, taking the cigarette between his fingers.

Sasuke sits up straighter.  

“Hi,” he says stagnantly.

The guy raises an eyebrow above cold eyes.  “You’re the drummer from that band.”

“You’ll have to be more specific.  There were like twenty bands playing tonight.”

He laughs.  “Dead Girls Rocking!!”

“Yeah.  So?”

He takes a drag from his cigarette and says simply.  “You’re really good.”

His smile shifts, and Sasuke gets it.  His smile with purpose and his muscled, tattoo arms on full display despite the chill of the night air.  He takes the seat across from Sasuke, playing his cards carefully, showing his hand but not making a move.  Testing boundaries before he can push them.

“I’m Makoto,” he says, leaning forward so Sasuke can smell the cigarette still between his fingers.

“Sasuke,” he answers.  He motions to Naruto.  “And this is-”

“How long have you been playing the drums?” Makoto interrupts.

Sasuke is still a little too drunk to be offended by this guy's attitude, and he’s definitely horny enough to ignore it.

“A while,” Sasuke answers.  Makoto  props his chin in his hand, challenging Sasuke to continue.

Naruto shifts.  “I’m gonna go find the others!” he announces, before leaning over to whisper in Sasuke’s ear.  “Oh my fucking god, he’s so fucking hot!”

He stands up, mouthing good luck behind Makoto's back.  Sasuke watches Naruto walk away.  Watches him go back inside.  Watches him disappear into the crowd and booming music before the door finally swings shut, the music dulling slightly.

He feels cold.

Sasuke and Makoto spend about twenty minutes chatting before they’re making out.  It feels good.  With the stress of finding a roommate then preparing for this show, he hasn’t had a lot of time to go out and find this kind of entertainment.  Sasuke hates the taste of ash, but Makoto clearly knows what he’s doing, and he lets Sasuke lead, so he counts his luck and bites Makoto’s lip again.

There’s a trio of giggles and someone collapses into their table.  Sasuke looks up to see Ino and Sakura, doubled over, laughing way too hard.  Hinata and Naruto are trying to keep them from crashing into any more furniture.

“Sasuke!” Sakura calls.  “Are you coming to Ichiraku?!”

Her eyes are glassy and she’s forgotten they’re no longer inside.  The other couples across the courtyard give them dirty looks.

“Where?” Sasuke asks.  Makoto doesn’t let himself be interrupted, moving his kisses to Sasuke’s neck.  

“ I-chi-ra-ku!” Sakura spells out.

“I.  Still.  Don’t.  Know.  What.  That.  Is!”

“It’s a ramen stand,” Naruto explains.  “I thought I should take them for food before they become more tequila than girl.”

Ino whispers something into Sakura’s ear, and Sakura bursts out laughing all over again.

“Oh my god, let’s go to karaoke!” Ino suddenly suggests.

“No,” Sasuke says.

“Yes!” Naruto calls.

“Don’t enable them!  What happened to getting them sober?”

Naruto waves him off.  “We can be sober when we’re dead!  Where’’s a good karaoke bar?”

“There’s one down the block,” Hinata says.  Sasuke narrows his eyes at her.  She smiles sweetly in reply.

“And then ramen after?” Naruto asks.

“And then ramen after!” Sakura announces.  “Let’s go, crew!”

She doesn’t wait for any of them before running off.  

“For fucks sake,” Sasuke says.  He shoves Makoto off his neck, who makes a noise of protest.  “Karaoke and ramen?  You’re gonna make yourselves sick!”

“Shut up, dad!” Ino cackles.  She’s no quieter than Sakura.  “Go get your dick wet and join us later!  Babe!  Wait up!”  

She grabs Naruto and Hinata’s hands and pulls them toward the club, hopefully to find Sakura before they find the exit.  Naruto meets Sasuke’s eyes across the expanse of fake grass.

“I’ll give you the apartment as long as I can,” he calls.

Sasuke watches him leave.  Again.  He watches them leave with a strange feeling hooked through his chest.  Makoto laughs, grabbing his attention.

“Your friends are something else,” he comments.  He leans back in, hoping to return to what they were doing before.

Suddenly, Sasuke isn’t so eager.

It’s not hard to find them.

He heads to the bar at the end of the block like Hinata mentioned, and just follows the overly zealous, out of tune screaming down the hall into room eight.  He opens the door to Ino wailing into the microphone, a glass of gin in her hand.  No one has noticed he’s come in.  No one but Naruto.

His blue eyes widen at seeing him, but his smile welcomes him in.

Sasuke shuts the door and sits down beside him.

“What’d I miss?” he asks, shrugging off his jacket and grabbing the giant book of available songs off the table.

Naruto just smiles and smiles and smiles.

“I thought you were getting off tonight?” he asks.

Sasuke pretends to be overly interested in the giant selection of Taylor Swift they have.

“There are three of them, and one of you,” he finally answers, jerking his chin to the trio while not looking up.  “Didn’t want to leave you outnumbered.”  He glares at the drink in Ino’s hand, then back at Naruto.  “I thought this was to sober them up before going home?”

Naruto giggles.  “It’s just water,” he replies.  “I think she just likes feeling cool.”

Sasuke rolls his eyes and picks up the remote to queue the next song.

Chapter Text

The song comes to an end.  All their breathing slowly becomes out of sync as they rest and let the final notes die out.  Sasuk’s chest rises and falls rapidly, and he immediately grabs his water bottle off the garage floor.  It’s been a gruelling practice, and no one can seem to understand why.

Sakura shoves her guitar in its stand almost forcefully.

“What’s missing?” she cries.  “Our set list is perfect!  So why does it feel like we’re short somewhere?”

Sasuke feels her frustration; they all do.  His knee bounces restlessly.

“Should we take out a few of our older covers?” Ino suggests, shoulders also tense.  “Bring Me To Life has kind of been done to death.”

“No way, it’s good for hyping up the crowd in the middle of the set.”

“We’re still not hitting Lovers quite right,” Hinata says.  “Maybe it could be replaced with something we play stronger.”

“That’s why we need it,” Sakura counters.  “It’s the only new one we have.  If we don’t play it, it’s the exact same show as last time, just in a different order!”

She rubs her forehead.  They have another show in a few weeks, for one of the biggest clubs they’re yet to play.  It’s important to all of them that they get it right, and show what they can do for a stronger crowd.  They’re all on edge, searching for perfection, but feeling they can never reach it.  

“Well, we could play something new,” Sasuke begins.  “Or, we could play something entirely new.”

Ino tenses.  Hinata’s lips go thin.  Sakura doesn’t turn to face him.

“Not this again,” she sighs.  “We’re a cover band, Sasuke!  We don’t play originals!”

Sasuke, feeling like he’s running lines for a scene he’s already filmed, grinds his teeth.

“You said so yourself; something is missing.  We want to show what we can do as a band; this is how!”

“Not yet!”  Sakura stomps her foot as she whirls around.   “I told you; you can play your songs when we play for bigger venues.  Original songs will only hurt us at this point.”

“Or, it’s making us seem boring, and we’re not standing out enough to even interest those bigger venues.”

“I told you when you joined!” Sakura snaps, the tension of their practice mixing with the argument and making them both angry and mean.  “We do things a certain way here.”

“Guys,” Hinata whimpers.  “Please don’t fight.”

“Or at least have a different one,” Ino mutters.

Sasuke stands.

“What happened to ‘we’re a democracy’?” he demands.

Sakura pauses.  “Fine.”  Then she turns to the other two.  “Who here wants to risk our current reputation by playing songs we’re entirely unfamiliar with?”

“No band ever got anywhere without risking something!”

But it falls on deaf ears, as Ino and Hinata don’t move.

“Who wants to stick to what we’re good at, find a groove, and slowly move to playing original work?”

Sakura raises her hand.  Slowly, so do Ino and Hinata.

“There!”  Sakura hisses.  “Democracy.”

Sasuke doesn’t smoke unless it’s social, or unless he’s really stressed, backed into a corner, and needs to leave.

“I need a smoke,” he declares, storming toward the door and trudging his way outside.  It’s not cold enough anymore to need his jacket.  Which is good, because he forgot it and he’s not going back in yet to get it.

He sits on the curb, head in his hands, and tries not to scream.  They’re surrounded by suburban houses.  Someone will hear him and, unlike the city, think it’s not normal and call the police.  

So he sits, grips his bangs, and with nowhere to put it, lets his anger roil in his body.

He’s still restless from his fight with Sakura a few days later.

The cold months are coming to an end and summer is racing in.  It’s one of the first warmer days of the year.  Sasuke has taken to wearing shorts and a wifebeater, while Naruto is walking around in only his boxer shorts.  

Honestly, nothing out of the ordinary for him.  What is out of the ordinary, is the popsicle he has between his lips.  

The slurping noises didn’t bother Sasuke at first.  He just kept flipping through the channels on the TV, contemplating getting up to get his own popsicle from the freezer.  Then Naruto sat beside him, and out of the corner of Sasuke’s eye, all he’s been able to see is that iced concoction slipping between Naruto’s lips.  He’d run his tongue flat up its length.  Nibble at the end.  Make a noise through his nose as he deepthroated the whole thing.

Sasuke grabs a cushion from the floor and pulls it onto his lap, disguising his growing problem for something to rest the remote on.

He thought Naruto might finish before it became too obvious, but Naruto apparently likes to draw it out.  He stops momentarily, entranced by whatever show is on screen (Sasuke has forgotten he’s meant to be watching something at all), before feeling the trickle of melting ice against his fingers, which makes the slurping sounds so much more obscene as he returns to his work of devouring the icy treat.

Sasuke is fully hard under the couch cushion now.

He still hasn’t had sex, which is driving him crazy.  One of his drums burst and he’s been picking up extra shifts at work to cover the cost of repair, because not playing is driving him crazier.  Now, he’s fighting with Sakura, making both work and home life increasingly uncomfortable.  He can’t work with Sakura as they’re both becoming increasingly stubborn over who should give first, and he can’t write at home without being reminded of their fight and feeling like it's all pointless to begin with.

And now, he’s going crazy with Naruto putting on a show beside him.

Sasuke snaps.  “Don’t you have work?” 

Naruto has finally finished his dessert, licking the rest of the sugar from his hand with a cold, pinkened tongue.  But the damage is done and Sasuke’s mind is hazy with a mix of the heat, frustration and lust.

Naruto looks momentarily surprised, eyes filled with hurt as he stares at Sasuke.  But Sasuke won’t back down, and apparently, neither will Naruto.

“Okay, asshole, I’m going!” Naruto huffs as he gets up and heads to his loft to get changed.

Sasuke blows his bangs out of his eyes.  “I just…don’t want you to be late.”

It’s a terrible lie, and it only seems to irritate Naruto more.

“Late for what?” Naruto replies.  Naruto works for a delivery app, as a bike messenger through the city.  He can choose his own hours, which means he’s either out for fifteen hours at a time or not working for three days straight.  It’s never consistent.  Which was never a problem, until now.  “I was waiting for it to get cooler!”

Sasuke grinds his teeth together.  

“But if you want me gone, you can just ask!” Naruto is yanking on his beat up converses and grabbing his bike helmet from the door.  He doesn’t say bye, he doesn’t wave to Sasuke as he leaves, he doesn’t offer to pick up groceries on his way home.  He just slides the door open and leaves.

Sasuke feels slightly bad.  Only for a moment, before he’s shoving his shorts down his thighs.

He hisses as his hard dick hits open air.  His thighs are already slightly sweaty, and he’s surprised how much he’s already panting.  He’s been so busy, it’s been so long since he’s been able to do even this.  Sasuke shifts, gets comfortable, closes his eyes and wraps a hand around it.  A grunt leaves his lips at first contact.

At first, he lets his mind drift to Naruto.  To the sounds he made.  To the image of his tongue darting out, licking the tip, digging his tongue in and-

“Shit,” Sasuke hisses again.  He stops.  He makes himself stop.  He can’t jerk off to his roommate.  That’s a hill Sasuke would rather not climb.  He shakes the image out of his brain, opting to substitute it for Makoto instead.

They never did anything beyond a pretty heated make out session, but Sasuke can still recall his sly smile, his dark eyes, and most importantly, how his tongue felt.

Sasuke puts his imagination to good use, imagining it sliding up the side of his dick like it slid up the side of his mouth.  His sharp teeth nipping at the skin like he nipped at Sasuke’s lips.  He tries to imagine what Makoto would have sounded like if Sasuke hadn’t cut their rendezvous short.  

It works.  A little.  It definitely gets Sasuke humming, gets his hand pumping faster and his breath coming shorter.  

But it’s shallow.  Hollow.  Something is missing.

As much as he hates to admit it, Sasuke values the connection in a physical relationship almost as much as the physical benefits themselves, but it’s hard to build that emotional connection when he’s so scared of it.  It doesn’t help that he looks like an emo scene kid from twenty-oh-nine, and acts like one too.  

Everyone assumes he just wants sex, and the majority of the time, he’s kind of okay with that assumption.

He whimpers.  His dick is rock hard and standing proud, but nothing seems to help.  He’s on the precipice, being held back with chains.  He wants to dive off, is ready to cum, but Makoto isn’t doing it for him.

Sasuke stops.  Sighs.  Considers grabbing his phone to find some porn and be done with it, but honestly, he knows that won’t help either.  He stills for a while, wondering if something else will come to him.

And it does.

In a haze of soft, blonde hair, bright, blue eyes and a wicked grin that would taste as sweet as frozen sugar.

No!

No.  No.  No no no nononono!

Sasuke bites his lip and glares at the ceiling.

But his mind is hooked.  Reason is losing glaringly to images that come far too clearly to his mind for him to be comfortable with.  Motions of Naruto leaning between his legs, gently pushing his thighs apart, making direct eye contact with Sasuke before replacing Sasuke’s own hand, tongue at the ready.

Naruto would start slow, soft.  Small movements to see which drags the greatest reactions from Sasuke.  What will make him twitch.  Groan.  Whimper.  What will make him thrust up into Naruto’s touch.  What will make Sasuke fall apart.

Then he’d find a rhythm, much like Sasuke has done now, and he’d stick to it.  

“Fuck,” Sasuke mutters.  “Shit.  Shit!”

It’s good.  It’s really good.  Heat rises from his gut, spreading down.  Spreading up.  He’s hot under his shirt now and pre-cum beads from the tip of his dick.  It twitches while imagining Naruto lapping it up, still maintaining eye contact.  

Sasuke grunts, and imagines what it would be like to shove his hand in those blonde, fluffy strands.  How they’d feel between his fingers, the warmth of Naruto as he pushes him down.

Sasuke moans, rather loudly, his fist moving faster, spreading pre-cum.  His toes begin to curl, digging into the carpet, the Naruto in his mind sucking in earnest now.  He’s making those sounds from before.  Slurping every drop Sasuke gives, breathing in through his nose, moaning at the taste.

He cusses again as he imagines setting a pace and wonders what it would be like to get a little rough.  To push Naruto to his limits.  Have him choke a little on his cock.

It’s what sets him off.  What finishes him.  Sasuke groans, tensing in his chair, back drawn as he cums across his hand and his lap and the floor.  In his head, though, Naruto takes it all.  He settles between Sasuke’s legs, moaning at the feeling of all that cum down his throat, swallowing every drop.  Never breaking eye contact with Sasuke the whole time.

Sasuke lets out a strangled noise, chest rising and falling, letting his orgasm travel pleasantly through his chest, his hips, his dick and finally recede.  It’s post-orgasm bliss follows and Sasuke collapses into his chair, fully satiated, and feeling a little of the edge from before chipped away.

He feels relieved.  He opens his eyes to assess the mess.  It could be worse.  Most of it is dripping down his thighs.  There’s a spot on the floor he’ll have to clean, but nothing dramatic.

He lets out a satisfied sigh, basking in it just a little longer.

It’s as he’s lying there, orgasm still making his toes scrunch and his fingers tingle, does another feeling begin to rise.

The guilt.

He just jerked off to his roommate.  He just shoved his roommate out of their apartment with his attitude and then jerked off to him.  All because of a fucking popsicle.

It kind of ruins the mood.

Sasuke is still awake when Naruto gets home, but he pretends not to be.  He’s buried under his blankets, facing away from the door, his corner of the apartment shrouded in darkness.  He hears Naruto set his stuff down, rustle in the kitchen for a minute before he’s crawling under his own sheets and the apartment is plunged entirely into darkness.

In the morning, Naruto is already gone, but he’s left a box of muffins in the kitchen with a note taped to the box.

Lemon balm muffins!  It’s a natural mood booster.  Sorry I don’t have a remedy for that stick up your ass ;)

The winky face tells Sasuke Naruto means no ill will; that he genuinely just wants to help, and doesn’t hold a grudge to Sasuke kicking him out the day before.

The guilt comes back twice as strong.

To celebrate the shift in season, they all decide to go out to a carnival down by the dock.  They’re surrounded by the screams of children as they’re spun around in weird machines that can’t be safe while vendors with overpriced snacks motion to them from under the twinkling lights.  The beer is expensive and the prizes are piss, but the mood is good and the company is better.

Sasuke has been trying his best to be nicer to Naruto since last week.  Since the combination of him snapping and subsequently his self-coital fest still sits thick at the bottom of his stomach.  But he’s been trying his best to be nice while also unable to look Naruto in the eyes, so it’s made for some awkward interactions.

He and Sakura still haven’t spoken of their fight.

Naruto walks ahead of him, Sakura and Ino hanging off each of his arms.  They’re making mental lists of everything they want to do while they’re here.  Sasuke trails behind them, Hinata matching his stride.

“Sasuke,” she says quietly.  He grunts to show she has his attention.  “How is living with Naruto?”

He grunts again.  “S’fine.”

Honestly, it’s kind of been better than fine.  It’s been really great.

Naruto has never missed a payment, and always helps with his share of the bills.  He’s always offering his cooking, and although he cooks vegan, it’s almost always good.  He’s a little messy, but he usually keeps his mess to his own corner and around his loft.  He’s loud by voice, but Sasuke is loud by music, so he can’t really hold it against him.

The walking around half naked all the time doesn’t bug him as much as he thought it would, and Sasuke figures they’ll have that in common once summer hits and Naruto discovers how unbearable the apartment can become in a heatwave.

“That’s good,” Hinata says.  “He’s really nice.  I’m glad we could all become friends.”

Sasuke just grunts again.

It’s been kind of scary, a good kind of scary, watching Naruto slip so easily into their group.  He’s basically their official groupie now.  He helps with set up and take down, brings them water during the show and drinks as soon as they’re done.  He sits with Sasuke on the floor of his corner, surrounded by vinyls and sheet music, when Sasuke is stuck with a song and can’t find a good beat.

Naruto knows as much about music as Sasuke does.  He wasn’t kidding when he said his godfather was such an influence on his taste.

“Do you think…” Hinata starts.  Sasuke glances at her, and sees the bridge of her nose dusted with a blush.

He’s not.  Sasuke knows this.  Naruto doesn’t go home with strangers.  Whether because he’s not interested or just too deeply interested in practising stranger danger, it’s unclear.

“You could just ask him,” Sasuke says.  

Hinata’s blush grows hotter across her cheeks. 

“Oh, well, I don’t want to pry.”  They continue to follow the other three, walking silently beside each other.  Then he hears Hinata quietly say, “I don’t even know if he likes girls.”

And Sasuke doesn’t know the answer to that either.  He hasn’t really found a way to ask, and up until now, hasn’t really found himself interested.  Why would he care who Naruto dates?  Or doesn’t date.  Or would want to date.

“You could ask him,” Sasuke says again.  Hinata shakes her head.

“I don’t want to be rude.”

“How is that rude?”

Hinata stammers something Sasuke doesn’t understand.

“Hey, Naruto!” Sasuke calls.  Hinata gasps, grabbing his arm, begging him to stop.  Too late.  The others have stopped and they’ve caught up in only a few strides.  “What’s your deal?”

Naruto frowns, cocking an eyebrow.  “Huh?”

“Sasuke!” Hinata tries again, still tugging on his sleeve.

“Like, who do you go for?”

Naruto frowns some more.  “Are you trying to ask my preference?”

Sasuke shrugs.  “Sure.”

“Uh, okay,” Naruto blinks and smiles nervously.  “I’m T-4-T.”

T-4-T.  Trans for trans.  Sasuke takes a moment to take that in, and when he does, the guilt that’s been gnawing at him for some time, any guilt he feels toward Naruto, shifts.  It shifts into something emptier.  It’s no longer solid and heavy in his gut, but suffocating in his chest.

Is he… disappointed?

“Cool.”

Naruto makes an incomprehensible face.  “Why?”

Hinata is blabbering so much, Sasuke is afraid her tongue is going to fall out.

“I just don’t think we’ve ever asked,” Sasuke explains.

Naruto’s expression softens.  “I don’t think I’ve ever asked you either.”

This easily spawns a heated conversation between all of them about their coming out stories while they drink spiked sodas and walk between the stalls.  Naruto already knows how Sakura came to terms with her love of Ino.  Apparently, Ino came out of the womb as she is.  Hinata says she thought about it a little in college, but ultimately decided she likes men and likes it that way.  Then it’s Sasuke’s turn.

“A person is a person,” Sasuke says.  “I don’t really care about the details as long as they’re not a total asshole.”

“And sometimes even that doesn’t deter you,” Sakura says, giving Sasuke a knowing look.

“Don’t you dare,” he warns.

“Why?” Naruto is suddenly avidly interested.  

“It’s nothing,” Sasuke mutters.  “So I have a toxic ex.  Who doesn’t?”

“What’s the story?” Naruto is walking backwards, right in front of Sasuke, his usual string of beads swinging from his headband.

“Once upon a time,” Sakura starts dramatically.  “There was this total fucking creep called Orochimaru-”

“Shut it!” Sasuke hisses.  “He doesn’t need to know!”

Sakura cackles as they make their way between the vendors.  It’s the longest exchange they’ve had since their last practice, and even if it is at his expense, Sasuke can’t help but smile a little.

They decide they’re hungry and go to split up.  The girls will line up for takoyaki and Naruto and Sasuke are tasked with finding the lemonade stall.  

“I’ll ask them to add ginger to yours, Hinata,” Naruto tells them as the boys begin to walk away.  “For that stomach ache you mentioned last night.”

Hinata’s face flushes the colour of the setting sun.  Sasuke frowns, irritated, maybe even more irritated because he doesn’t know why.

They retrieve their drinks, stock up on paper straws and are taking a different route back when Naruto spots it.

“Tarot readings!” He cries, grabbing Sasuke’s arm so hard and fast, Sasuke almost drops the girls’ drinks on his boots.  He grumbles in annoyance, which Naruto either doesn’t hear, chooses to ignore, or both, and drags him to the booth.

A little old lady greets them.  She’s greying under the scarf tied around her head, bells, hanging in strings from her sleeves, chime as she sits and shuffles a stack of large cards in her hands.  Sasuke sees flashes of the different designs across their surfaces.  Some heralding bright colours of hope and others painted with dark, sepia tones to signal something far more dismal.  

“Well, what fates have gifted me with two, strapping young youths?” she says.  Her hands stop moving, rings glittering as she holds the cards tight between her knobbly fingers.

“Aw, shucks, Granny!” Naruto rubs his hair, face tinted pink, genuinely bashful.  “How much for a reading?” He enquires excitedly.

She tells him, and Sasuke cuffs Naruto across the back of his ear for so readily paying such an exorbitant price.  

“Hey, tarot is a delicate art!  You can’t just pick up that shit anywhere!  It costs to know what the fates have in store for you.”

Sasuke rolls his eyes, but takes the other rickety, folding chair beside Naruto, and watches as the lady lays the stack of cards in the middle of the table.  She gestures for Naruto to hold out his hands, which he does so readily.  Sasuke watches, fighting back another headache.

He sips his lemonade to kill time.

Eventually, Naruto is handed the cards and told to shuffle the deck.  The lady takes them back carefully, smoothly fans them in a row across the table (a neat card trick, Sasuke notes) and asks Naruto to pick three that speak strongest to him.

Sasuke, chin in hand, looks on boredly as the old lady reads Naruto’s cards.  Flailing her arms, doctoring her voice so it goes quiet for suspense and cracks to shock Naruto in his seat.  It’s entertaining, at least, to see the myriad of expressions cross Naruto’s face.

“You’re so right, granny, I do need to work on my self-belief!” Naruto nods sagely, folding his arms across his chest, like this lady just told him something not totally tripe and vague and then gave him advice that could apply to literally anyone who comes across her booth.

Sasuke rolls his eyes again, but is eager to leave already.  He breathes a sigh of relief when Naruto begins to stand, leaning over to shake the old lady’s hand, thanking her profusely.

“Hang on,” she says, stopping them abruptly.  She’s back to shuffling her cards.  She meets Sasuke’s eyes, grey irises twinkling beneath her bushy eyebrows.  

“What about you?” she asks.

“Me?” Sasuke asks.  “I’m good, thanks.”

He really doesn’t want to fork out twenty-five dollars for a five minute introspection and then be told to ‘love himself’ a little better.  

She nods to the chair, the one directly in front of her.

“I don’t have any cash,” he lies.

She smiles, mischievously.  “This ones on me.”

Naruto bawks.  “Lucky bastard.”

Sasuke shrugs.  “We really have to get back to our group.”  All the ice in their lemonade is about to melt and Sasuke really doesn’t need Ino’s bitching about how watery her drink is.  Nor is he paying for a new one.

She taps the table with one, long, shiny nail.

“Sit,” she demands.

Sasuke frowns, but sees he’s not walking away from this without either offending her or offending Naruto.

He rolls his eyes again, and slumps into the seat.  Naruto readily leans over his shoulder, like Sasuke is going to get some rare pull in a gacha game.  He bites the inside of his cheek as he’s passed the cards, shuffles them for no longer than a few seconds, and hands them back.  When he’s told to pick three cards that feel strongest to his heart, he taps the three in a row directly in front of him.

“C’mon, Sasuke,” Naruto sneers above him.  “Take this seriously!”

“Well, if he’s chosen these cards,” Granny explains, “Then there will be a reason.”

Sasuke doesn’t open his mouth, or he might mention the reason is he wants to get the fuck out of here.

The lady draws the first card.

“Ah, the chariot,” she announces, like Sasuke can’t read the name stamped on the card.  “You’re about to find great success amongst your ambitions.  You work hard, perhaps the fates have decided you’ve paid your dues.”

Naruto is leaning bodily against the back of Sasuke’s chair now.  Sasuke is afraid the rickety thing is going to snap under his weight.  Granny draws the second card.

“The lovers.  Congratulations.” She reads.  “Self explanatory to a man like you, I’m sure.”

  “True love and all your dreams come true?”  Naruto all but moans.  “That’s gotta be the luckiest reading I’ve ever seen.”

“Lucky is one word for it.”  Sasuke raises one, black eyebrow at the lady across from him.  “I’d also say, mighty convenient.”

Granny meets his eyes yet again, and they fill with an unrecognisable amount of glee.  Like Sasuke has risen to a  challenge he hadn’t known she’d set.

She draws the third card.  It’s also the only card she draws in reverse.

“But you are reckless in both,” she says, as Sasuke reads the fool upside down.  Naruto gasps, not at all softly.  “You’re blinded by both your ambition and need to feel seen by someone important to you.  You’re stubbornly walking one path; has it occurred to you to take a different one?  In your quest to have both, you may return with neither.”

Sasuke meets the old granny’s eyes, and sees the spark of satisfaction in them, believing she’s now exacted her revenge on the cynic who dared visit her stall.

Sasuke sighs.  

“Thanks, Granny, it’s been real.”  He stands up, grabs their drinks from the table, and strolls off.  Naruto shouts after him, racing to catch up.

“That was intense!”  Naruto exclaims when he reaches Sasuke’s side.  Sasuke grits his teeth.  He has to remind himself he might not believe in any of this stuff, but Naruto does, and he’s hurting no one by doing so.  “You got kind of a creepy reading, Sasuke!  You better be careful.”

“Yes, love, sex, concerts and fame would really throw my already too perfect life for a loop,” Sasuke scoffs.  “Wouldn’t that be terrible.”

“But didn’t you hear Granny?  You might not get both!”

Sasuke sighs, and is beyond grateful to spot Sakura, Ino and Hinata through the crowd, hoping now that this inane conversation will come to an end.

“Which one do you think you’ll get first?” Naruto asks as they make their way toward the girls.  “Love or your dream?”

“It doesn’t matter!” Sasuke snaps.  “None of it’s real!  She was just trying to spook me because I don’t believe she’s legit.”

He feels like an asshole even as the words leave his mouth.  Naruto doesn’t seem to be deterred.

“It doesn’t matter whether you believe in it or not!  The fates spoke to you tonight-”

“Oh, for fucks sake.”

“-and you should listen!”

They reach the girls.

“What’s with the lover’s quarrel?” Sakura asks, taking their drinks from Sasuke’s hands.  Naruto’s eyelashes flutter at the word ‘lover’.

“It’s nothing,” Sasuke mutters.

“It’s everything!” Naruto interjects.  “And Sasuke is being a total dick deflator about it!”

Sasuke blinks.  “Did you just call me a dick deflator?”

“Yeah,” Naruto agrees readily.  “Because you’re being a dick deflator!”

Sasuke feels his cheeks heat up.  He glances to the lamps hanging above them, blaming them for the incessant heat focused in such a small area.

Naruto quickly recounts the tale of the tarot reader to the trio.

“Holy hell, Sasuke, why are you so stubborn?” Sakura insists, a familiar gleam in her eyes, some of the air remaining of their previous fight leaking into this one.

“It doesn’t matter!” Sasuke insists, aware he’s digging his heels in now, and probably proving their point.  “I’m not going to fall in love and all my dreams aren’t coming true!”

“Not with that attitude,” Ino says with a playful grin, trying to defuse the tension.  She takes a sip of her drink, makes a face and tips it toward him.  “Why is my lemonade so weak?”

Sasuke ignores them both.  Naruto’s expression has become funny, wary.  Unreadable.  

“The fireworks are starting soon,” Sakura announces, thankfully, changing the subject.  “Let’s go find a good spot!”

Naruto doesn’t look at Sasuke as he hurries ahead of them.  Sasuke feels that all too familiar guilt rise again.  Maybe he shouldn’t have disregarded Naruto’s beliefs so readily, but he also thinks he shouldn’t be forced to believe a reading he didn’t want that won’t ever happen.  He sighs, beginning to follow the group, when his phone vibrates in his pocket.

Sasuke checks the caller ID, his brother’s name blinking across the screen, and feels a small wave of relief come when it’s the first good thing to happen all night.

Chapter Text

Sasuke is usually cautious of pissing off the neighbours.  

Two guys stuck in close quarters together?  Of course, sometimes, a ruckus is unavoidable.  They get into screaming matches during video games.  Sometimes Naruto wants to watch a movie, and Sasuke wants to listen to music without headphones.  They’ll do both, cranking up the volume of each in an attempt to beat the other out.  Usually though, he and Naruto at least attempt to keep it to a minimum as best they can, and will think twice before playing that one song too loudly on the drums while they both sing badly to Whitney Houston on the radio.  

And sometimes he just doesn’t give a fuck.

The apartment door slides open and Naruto lets himself inside.  Sasuke notices his blue eyes widen, first with apprehension, then with bright excitement as he takes it all in.  The beat Sasuke seems to play with this very soul, the stereo at full volume behind him, and the new body in the room, playing the guitar as easily as if it were an extension of himself.

“Free concert?” Naruto calls over the noise.  Sasuke can barely hear him.

“Naruto!” he screams as the song quietens slightly for the bridge.  “This is my brother!  Itachi, this is Naruto!”

Itachi, fingers moving elegantly over the strings, doesn’t miss a note as he offers a friendly nod to Naruto before both he and his brother lose themselves to the final chorus.

Naruto seems more than happy to watch, and Sasuke finds he doesn’t mind.  He maybe plays a little harder even, with a little more showmanship.  He twirls his drumsticks more.  Rocks his head back and forth.  Itachi meets his enthusiasm.

Naruto is enraptured.  Sasuke feels his face, his neck and his chest warm under the attention.

The song finishes.  The room goes quiet except for that familiar ringing in his ears.  Itachi makes a quick riff before balancing his guitar to one side of his body.

“Nice to finally meet you, Naruto,” he says, offering a hand.  Naruto clasps it readily.  “Sasuke seems fond of you; strange for anyone in his life let alone someone he found on the internet.”

“Don’t lie to me,” Naruto snorts.  “This bastard never has anything nice to say.”

Itachi laughs with him.  “Well played.”

Sasuke stands to change the song.  

“Hey!” He hisses at Naruto.  “I always tell you your breakfast burritos are the best.  If I tell you anything more, you’ll just get a big head.”

But he’s smiling.  He’d been a little anxious at the thought of someone so important in his life meeting…another important person in his life.  Important only because Sasuke has to live with him and it would be awkward if Itachi didn’t like him, but he’d been apprehensive over it nonetheless.

“Very well played,” Itachi says.  “I didn’t even know Sasuke was capable of compliments.”

Sasuke tuts, finding the track he’s looking for, and hits play without Itachi’s input.

“I didn’t know you played too,” Naruto says as he pulls one of their beanbags closer and settles in for the show.

“Not as well as I’d like,” Itachi replies, but he still returns his guitar to comfortably sit in his hand, and begins to strum through the first notes of Broken Youth.   “Adulthood found me early and raising both myself and this one-” he nods to Sasuke, “-took priority.”

Sasuke sneers, still smiling fondly.

“Yeah, it’s shit too.  We could’ve been something!”

Itachi rolls his eyes.  “I was busy making money to pay for your lessons!”

Sasuke grins playfully, but then the song picks up, and conversation is made impossible.

Naruto seems happy to have his attention evenly split between Itachi’s almost graceful and methodical playing, each note perfectly in place, while Sasuke attempts to drown him out with his own brash and hazardous beating of his drums.  Then Sasuke opens his mouth, and sings.

Naruto’s attention is stolen.

Sasuke doesn’t mean to show off, but something inside him always comes free around his brother.  A side of himself he feels like he has to hide and guard every time otherwise.  As soon as Itachi is around, he feels he doesn’t have to be so high on alert.  That Itachi will do the guarding for him; much like he did when they were young, when Sasuke was too young to see it for what it was.

They play through the entire song, Sasuke belting out the lyrics as if he’s playing for the biggest crowd, no need for a microphone when his lungs provide all the amplification for him.  Naruto’s jaw falls open.  Itachi chuckles at the sight.

“I didn’t know you could sing like that!” Naruto caws as soon as the song ends.  Sasuke’s breath is wracking his chest, his shoulders rising and falling on a beat that now only lives in his veins.

Sasuke shrugs.  He’s still blushing.  He catches Itachi’s knowing look, smug smile and raised eyebrow and all.

“I’m cool with being background fodder for the girls,” Sasuke explains.  “Singing is just a hobby.”

“He thinks he’s cool with being background fodder,” Itach interjects.  “When he doesn’t realise it’s that very thinking that is holding him back.”

Sasuke rolls his eyes, expression turning sour, and mutters.  “That’s not the only thing holding me back.”

Naruto cocks his head, confused.  Sasuke just grimaces and shakes his head; there’s no point digging up old metal when he and Sakura have made peace and buried it.

Well, in the only way they know how.  By not addressing their argument at all and for so long, they both have no choice but to return to normal, acting as if nothing ever happened.  Their argument still hangs over their heads, and they both think they’re being the bigger person by ignoring its cunning eyes waiting for them in the dark.

Sasuke knows they’ll have to talk about it eventually, but it’s been nice having band practise back to normal.  They have a show next week and don’t need the tension between them to affect their playing.

“I meant what I said,” Itachi is removing his guitar and fixing it carefully in its case.  “You should come play for us sometime.”

“You have a band, too?” Naruto asks excitedly.

“You could call it that,” Sasuke mumbles.

Itachi doesn’t seem bothered.  “It’s a recent development.  Some friends and I got a little whimsical and realised how much we all miss playing live.  Though I don’t think I could ever be as serious about it as Sasuke.”

This statement seems to irritate Sasuke the most.

“Why not?” he whines, a younger side of him always showing itself around his older brother.  “You’re good!  I mean it when I say we could’ve been something!  We could be something!”

Sasuke’s fingers are already twitching.  He’s still sitting behind his drums, and starts hitting a quiet, steady beat to dispel some of his nervous energy.  He’s slightly disappointed Itachi wanted to stop so early, when he has a playlist full of backlogged songs he’s been eager to try while Itachi has the time.  

And time has already run out.

Itachi scratches his hair, almost bashful under Sasuke’s eagerness to bond through something so important to him.  Sometimes it feels like they’ll never get back all the time lost when Sasuke was a kid, and Itachi was forced too early into becoming an adult.

“I don’t think Sakura would be too eager to see me join your group.  Didn’t she only let you in on a technicality?”

“We could vote you in,” Sasuke says, rolling his eyes and muttering bitterly; “We’re a democracy.”

Naruto cocks his head again, more confused than ever.

“Well, do you want to get dinner or not?” Itachi asks, changing the subject.

Sasuke leaps from his chair.  “Hell yeah!  Let’s go to that good fried chicken place!  Beers all on you!”

Itachi chuckles.  “Of course; what else are big brothers for but getting their little brothers absolutely sloshed?”

Naruto giggles too.  Sasuke is busy pulling on his boots and grabbing his jacket, his keys and wallet still stuffed inside.  He grabs Naruto’s hand and yanks him off the chair with one pull.

“Let’s go!”

Naruto, still slightly confused, stumbles against him.  “I’m coming?”

He feels valid in seeing Itachi look just as surprised as him over Sasuke’s shoulder.  Sasuke doesn’t notice either of them.

“Duh, dumbass.”

“Sasuke will need someone to drag him home,” Itachi explains.

Naruto nods in understanding.

Sasuke doesn’t get as drunk as he thought he would.  Enough to feel pleasantly warm and just slightly buzzed.  He listens as Naruto explains to Itachi where he came from, his godfather who raised him, and how he came to find Sasuke.  

“Oh, before I forget,” Naruto starts and Sasuke, knowing what’s coming, groans into his beer glass.  “What’s your sign?”

Itachi takes it in stride.  “I’m a gemini.”

“You would be, you two faced bastard,” Sasuke grumbles.

“That explains a lot about you two,” Naruto says.  

“Really?” Itachi says, fascinated.

“Don’t get him started!” Sasuke might be more drunk than he at first realised.  “He’ll start telling you you’re a scorpio moon and need to take your mental health more seriously.  That you need to carry more black obsidian with you and no wonder you’re in a mood when your root chakra is blocked, keeping you from relaxing and making you more inclined to stress.”  He takes a giant gulp of his beer.  “Which is what the black obsidian is for.”

Itachi and Naruto are both silent.  Itachi stares at him from across the table, though his eyes are also glassy, he smiles knowingly.  Naruto’s eyes are pools of aquamarine as they take in all that Sasuke is.

“You listened?” he asks Sasuke, mouth open.

Sasuke turns red, from his scalp down to his hips this time.

“Well, yeah?” Sasuke starts, meaning to continue with because you never shut up, but something about the awed look on Naruto’s face makes him stop with just those two words.  Like he doesn’t want to hurt Naruto’s feelings.  Like because this is important to Naruto, it’s become kind of important to him too.

He just busies himself with his beer glass, which is now completely empty, and it magnifies Itachi’s self-satisfied grin as he meets Sasuke’s eyes through the bottom of it.

Itachi walks them back to their apartment, picks up his guitar case and prods Sasuke in the forehead in a loving gesture, that almost topples Sasuke to the ground.  

“Take care of him, Naruto,” Itachi asks.  “He’s a handful.”

“But he’s our handful,” Naruto agrees.

Sasuke sticks his middle fingers up, one for either of them.

Itachi nods.  “Until next time, brother.  And come by the flat sometime!  Kisame misses you too.”

“That makes one of us.”

Itachi, done with his antics, motions Naruto should lean close, and whispers in his ear.

“If you ever want to hear what Sasuke really thinks of you, here’s the trick.”  Itachi stands up straight again and calls to Sasuke, who is rifling through the fridge.  “Go fuck yourself!”

Sasuke peers over the door, and with complete genuinity in his voice, simply says “love you, too” before returning to search the depths of the fridge.  Itachi shrugs at Naruto, and walks out.

Naruto is left gaping between the two brothers who spoke english all night and yet Naruto felt like they spoke fluently in a secret language he can’t understand.  He follows Sasuke into the kitchen to ask what he’s looking for.

“Do we have any leftovers?” Sasuke asks.  Naruto nods to the one remaining pizza slice, half-eaten burger and the box of questionable Chinese food that he’s pretty sure has been in there since he moved in.  Sasuke sighs.  “Not those kinds of leftovers!  Your leftovers!”

Naruto feels a smile split his face.  “You like my cooking that much, huh?”

Sasuke grumbles, still leaning against the open door of the fridge, attempting not to look his roommate in the eye.

“It’s good for preventing hangovers.”  Is all he says.

Naruto can’t stop smiling.  “I’ll make you something, okay?”

“It’s midnight.”

“Which is like ten in the morning, our time.  Now scooch!  I need to see if the bok choy is any good!”

Sasuke shuffles out of the way.  “I think we have oyster mushrooms too.”

“Really?  How about pulled-pork Naruto’s way?” 

Sasuke’s mouth starts salivating.  “Yours is the only good way.”

He turns toward the spice rack (which was never used for anything except salt and pepper until Naruto moved in), not having realised how much wider Naruto’s grin has become, threatening to split his face clean in two.

Sasuke feels like he hasn’t stopped playing in weeks.

With their show coming up, band practice is a non-negotiable, each and every night.  Ino is hard at work, keeping their instagram active and their posts stylish, hoping to draw in any last minute interested parties before the night.  Hinata has coordinated their outfits to the final thread.  Sakura is busy sending them new setlists every two hours, until Ino locks her out of the google doc so she can’t make any more changes.  

Naruto, understanding how important this show is to them, visits the club ahead of time, for reconnaissance and also to make their good luck charms early.  

By the time the night is upon them, Sasuke is barely keeping his nerves in check.  His hands won’t stop twitching, and he drums on every available surface in the backroom like it’s somehow supposed to help.

“Sasuke, stop!” Ino cries, the fourth time he bangs a beat on the back of her chair.  She holds her eyeliner pen at the ready, like it’s a viable weapon.  “I swear to god!”

He groans as he’s forced to continue waiting, and is thankful for the distraction when his phone vibrates in his pocket.  

Naruto: 
>Just arrived!
>traffic was effing crazy!
>good luck!!!

Sasuke grins, typing out a reply.

> you’re late >:( 
> what if you had missed me???

The reply is almost immediate.

> i always miss you anyway <3

Sasuke chooses to ignore the funny little flip his heart does.  It’s the nerves.  The nerves that always come before every show and vow to stay until the very moment he’s beating the skins.

More messages come through.

> did you pass out the lucky charms?

“Oh, shit,” Sasuke mutters.  He quickly finds the charms in his bag, sifting through the trash of old receipts and free drink vouchers to find the treasure Naruto entrusted him with.  He passes them out.

“Hell yeah!” Sakura calls.  “Make them your bitch!”   She shows off Naruto’s handmade fortune proudly.

“Don’t let them get away,” Ino reads.

“Quietly exploding?” Hinata reads, puzzled yet again.  “Why are mine always the most cryptic?”

Sasuke finally opens his own.

The darkest suns have the brightest flares.

Something tugs at the corner of Sasuke’s mouth.  A smile.  Excitement.  A little bit of familiarity.

Naruto’s lucky charms have become an important part of their pre-show ritual now.  He’ll make them in advance if he can’t be at their show himself, but he always tries to steal paper from the venue on the night of.  

“To get the most effect,” he’d say, scrawling nonsense words onto discarded beer coasters.

Eventually, a stage hand comes to retrieve them, leading them down a long hallway and guiding them onto the stage coated in black.  Sasuke can feel the energy of the crowd as he sits behind his drums.  He can feel the tension in each of their bodies become something they will wield like the instruments they bleed to play.

“Ok, girls!” Sakura announces, just before they turn on her mic.  “Let’s rock ‘em dead!”

Something is wrong.

Something is off.

The crowd is great.  Their regulars, becoming a dime a dozen, scream from the crowd as they recognise songs off only the first riffs.  Sakura is awesome as always.  She’s got the crowd in the palm of her hand, simultaneously the forefront and backbone of the entire band.  Ino and Hinata haven’t missed a note.

It’s Sasuke who can’t get his head around the night.

It didn’t take long to spot Naruto in the crowd.  He waved as soon as their eyes met across the sea of people; another tradition.  One just between them.  It also didn’t take long before Sasuke realised Naruto, this time, was not alone.

A red-head stands beside him, too close to be just a random stranger, even one Naruto might have befriended while waiting for them to start.  His eyes are coated in eyeliner, which makes his expressions impossible to read, not that Sasuke would be able to from this distance anyway.  He also won’t stop touching Naruto.  Grabbing his arm, his shirt, leaning against him to whisper intimately in his ear.

Naruto brought a date.

And it’s sending Sasuke into a panic.

They’re in the middle of one of the oldest covers they have.  Sasuke could play it in his grave.  It’s all muscle memory at this point.  He catches Hinata’s distressed look.  Ino’s heated glare.  He doesn't understand what he’s doing wrong.

Sakura finishes singing, stepping aside for Ino’s guitar solo, and carefully makes her way to stand behind Sasuke.

“You’re off,” she whispers to him, and with all the noise on stage, it’s still considered shouting.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Sasuke grits.  He’s sweating.  He’s pounding the drums as hard as he can.  He refuses to look up.  He can’t stand the thought of trying to find blue eyes in a crowd, only for those eyes to not be looking for him.

“You’re off,” Sakura says again.  “You’re beat!  It’s off!”

“Fuck off,” Sasuke snaps.  

He is never off.  He’d been jumpy through soundchecks when they first ventured into playing live, and it sometimes takes him a moment to find a rhythm within the rhythm he can ride through the night.  

But during a concert?  Never.  Not him.

And yet…

“Sasuke, seriously!” Sakura all but wails.  It’s lucky Ino’s guitar is so fucking loud and no one can hear them arguing.  “You’re going to finish ahead of us if you keep this up!”

Sasuke grits his teeth, refrains from cussing his friend again, and looks to his hands.  He begins to count; something he hasn’t had to do in years.   He begins to leave the feel of the music behind, and listen to it with a number behind his eyes.  Like he did in high school, when they would make him play along to music that had no feel at all.

And he sees it.

He’s so fucking off.

“Shit.”  He stops minutely, just long enough to reset the count in his head, not long enough for anyone to notice unless they knew what to listen for.  He continues, counting under his breath, and this time it doesn't sound disjointed.  He sounds like a drummer should alongside a guitar solo.  He bites his lip.

“Thanks, Sakura,” he mutters.  

Before taking her place back behind the mic, she gives him a worried look.

Fitting, because Sasuke is worried too.

“You guys are so fucking good!” Naruto cries with glee when they find him in the crowd.  He takes turns hugging all the girls.  “You get better everytime I see you live!”  He sighs dreamily.  “Don’t forget the little people when you’re rock legends on the cover of Rolling Stones for a drug scandal and avoiding questions about breaking up because the fame is ‘just too hard!’”

Sakura giggles.  Naruto turns to Sasuke, arms reaching for him.  Sasuke keeps still.

“Who’s this guy?” he demands, jerking his chin toward the red head still waiting off to the side, still floating around Naruto’s space.  

Naruto seems affronted.

“This is Gaara,” Naruto answers, shouldering off Sasuke’s rejection, and throwing an arm around Gaara’s neck.  Gaara seems too comfortable with the sudden touch.  “He’s my-”

“Cool.  Whatever.  I need a drink.”  

And Sasuke disappears into the crowd before Naruto can finish.

At the bar, it takes thirty seconds for someone to find him and start flirting.  She’s small, petite, but has a husky voice that makes Sasuke shudder.  She’s wearing thick black lipstick and got a few piercings in places Sasuke is all too curious about.  

It takes only minutes longer for her to invite him back to her place.  This time, Sasuke is ready with a yes.  He’s feeling particularly asshole-ish tonight, but not enough to at least shoot a text to Sakura to explain he’s bailing early and will see her tomorrow for band practice.

Sakura
> ok.  Stay safe.

She responds.  Sasuke is about to put his phone away, when another text comes through.

> He’s just a friend.

He stares at the screen.  The shots his new date bought him already making his thoughts meld into something he shouldn’t have to use.

Sasuke
> what??

Sakura
> Gaara.  He’s just Naruto’s friend.  They knew each other in high school and he was in town, so Naruto asked him to come meet us.

A feeling Sasuke can only recognise as relief floods his gut.

Sasuke
> and why do I care?

He taps out instead.

Sakura
> ok, asshole.
> just thought you’d like to know.
> don’t get murdered or I’ll murder you.

Sasuke scoffs, finds his date again, and hurries out of the club.

Because he doesn’t care.

Naruto can bring whoever he wants to these shows.  It’s not like they’re reserved only for them.  It’s not like Sasuke was just as excited for the concert to end as he was for the concert itself, so he and Naruto could wait for the girls to start getting silly drunk before sneaking off to the alley or the curb outside, bumming cigarettes off strangers while they smoke and talk and let the night move on around them.

It’s not like Sasuke was waiting for Naruto to start having fun.

It’s not like Naruto means anything more to him than a reliable roommate who is kind of cool to hang out with when he has no other options.

He gets home just as the temperature drops, telling him the sun is about to come up.  When he sneaks in, the apartment is filled with scurrying blue lights, the television on and highlighting Naruto’s silhouette.

He turns, catches Sasuke’s eyes in the dark of the room, and waves.

Sasuke carefully waves back.

When he makes his way over, he sees Naruto has spread out blankets and pillows and he and Gaara must have been having a movie marathon.  There are packets of different snacks littered everywhere (all opened, none finished).  Gaara is already asleep, having not bothered taking his makeup off.  His eyes look like holes in his skull amongst the flashing shadows of the TV.  It’s kind of creepy.

Sasuke makes a note it’s a look he should try.

“Are you over it?” Naruto whispers.  He has the volume low.  Sasuke can hear him just fine.

“Over what?” he asks, pulling a blanket up around his shoulders and lying across the bean bag beside Naruto.

“Over whatever had you so pissy?”

Sasuke smirks.

“I got off like four times tonight.”  He doesn’t know why he says it.  He doesn’t know why he feels a deep sense of satisfaction when Naruto stiffens beside him.  “So yeah.  I’m over it.”

Naruto only nods.  “Glad you feel better.”

Sasuke can't pay attention to whatever is on screen, and his mind is too busted to care.

“What’d you guys get up to tonight?” Sasuke asks, as a way of being polite.

Naruto seems to be thinking, trying to remember.  

“I felt sick,” he finally says.  “So Gaara brought me home and we just watched movies.”

Sasuke breathes tiredly, but still manages to ask.  “Are you feeling better now?”

Naruto takes a moment to respond.  “Not really.”

“Was it something you ate?”

Again, Naruto takes his time to answer.  “I don’t think so.”

Sasuke hums.  “Do we have any of that ginger tea you make?  I could boil some.”

Naruto turns, and Sasuke lifts his head enough to meet Naruto’s eyes in the dark.

And he sees it.

It’s barely there, and if the screen hadn’t been flashing with white at the time, he would have missed it.  Naruto’s tired, wet lashes and the sagging bags under his eyes.  The rim of red around the white.

He’s been crying.

“Would you mind?”

Sasuke feels his chest ache.  Feels the regret pool in his gut that he abandoned Naruto when he was clearly in distress.  If it’s just a stomach bug, or the start of a cold, it’s not like Sasuke has anything to worry about.  But he does worry, and it begins to fill the hole in his chest that seems to be the source of his bad mood.

“No,” he whispers.  “I don’t mind.”

He’s still a little bleary, and a lot stiff, but Sasuke still makes good on his promise and makes his way to the kitchen.  He’s quiet as his drunken self can be.  Gaara only stirs slightly when Sasuke doesn’t get to the kettle in time and it starts whistling.  Sasuke stares at the mugs with the tea bags sitting inside, trying to remember the way Naruto taught him how to make tea the right way.

He’s pretty sure he does a terrible job, but carefully makes his way back and hands Naruto his steaming cup.  Naruto blows on the surface before taking a sip.  He doesn’t realise how close he is to Naruto until he’s sitting comfortably again, but before he can readjust, Naruto is throwing the blanket over Sasuke’s lap, their body heat trapped under the same fabric.

Naruto sniffs wetly.

Sasuke wants to ask, and yet is terrified too.  He wants to know why Naruto is hurting, but the fear inside him isn’t something just ginger tea can quell.  Naruto stares dazedly at the TV.  Sasuke just sits still, enjoying the heat of his friend beside him and the tea in his palms, and Naruto’s sharp profile alit by the screen.

“Are you going to be okay?” Sasuke finally administers the courage to ask.

Naruto smiles, fake and wet, not looking at Sasuke.  The salt tracks on his face reflect a different colour.  “I’ll be fine.  I just need to get over it.”

“Get over what?”

Naruto shrugs, like that should hold all the answers.

“Was it someone tonight?” Sasuke isn’t sure why, but he tries again.

Naruto laughs lightly.  “You could say that.”

Sasuke bristles.  “Who?  What’d they do?”

Naruto laughs again.  “Don’t worry your pretty head about it.”  Another sniff.  “I just needed a reminder; it’s a little more complicated when it comes to people like me.”

Naruto is talking in riddles and Sasuke is trying to help, but he’s still drunk off alcohol, smokes and good sex.  He frowns, trying desperately to understand.

Because he wants to understand.

Because he wants to understand Naruto.  

“Just spit it out!” Sasuke growls, irritated.  “What are you talking about?”

Naruto’s expression shifts, trembles, like he’s going to cry all over again.  He scrunches up his face, holding the worst of it off, before he asks:  “Do you want to know why I’m T4T?”

Desperately, Sasuke thinks.  “Sure,” he says instead.

“It’s not just because sharing affection with someone similar can be so much easier; it’s because the rejection is easier too.”  Naruto turns his head to look at Sasuke, but the colour in his usual radiant, blue eyes is gone.  It makes Sasuke shiver.  “When I’m rejected by a person who understands, at least a little bit, why I am the way that I am, I know it’s because none of this-” Naruto nods downard, to himself, “-played a part in it.  When I’m rejected by someone else, someone who isn’t like me at all, I always have to wonder.  Maybe it’s because we didn’t mesh or because we don’t have the same love language or because they think everything I believe in is stupid, but I’m always left wondering.  I’m always left terrified.  Is it because of this too?”

Sasuke’s heart is on overdrive.  Naruto, seeming to have gotten the heaviest of his burdens off his chest, slumps against the beanbag chair and closes his eyes, the TV becoming white noise to him as he drifts off.  He holds his empty mug in his lap, still warm from the tea.  Sasuke, suddenly thinking of the twinge in his neck he’s going to give himself, tugs Naruto closer so he falls against Sasuke’s shoulder.

His blonde hair tickles Sasuke’s jaw.

It’s almost five in the morning.  The sun is filling the apartment with a strange colour of light.  Sasuke has been awake for over twenty-four hours, has played a concert, traversed the city and had a ridiculous amount of sex, and instead of staying the night, for some reason, traversed back toward his home.  He should be exhausted, but he’s wide awake.

Naruto seems to be grappling with himself, trying to accept rejection from someone who won’t love him.

Sasuke is left wondering who wouldn’t.

Chapter Text

So, he likes Naruto.  Like, like likes Naruto.  Like, Sasuke kind of wants to kiss him really badly.  Especially when he’s warm and bright, dancing around their kitchen in the morning sun while he makes his vegan protein pancakes.  Or when he’s singing under his breath, usually a song Sasuke was only just beating out on his drums.  Sasuke wants to press his hand to the small of Naruto’s back, and maybe the middle of it too, where he might be able to count the divots in Naruto’s spine.

And when Naruto steps out of the shower, only a towel wrapped loosely around himself, falling dangerously low on his hips, Sasuke’s mind goes places it absolutely shouldn’t.  His eyes follow the rivulets of water over Naruto’s chest.  They trail down his stomach, catching on the towel doing a piss poor job of hiding that damn spiral tattoo.

“You want some?” Naruto asks.  Sasuke spits out the energy drink he had been sipping.

“Do I want what?”  

Naruto meets Sasuke’s eyes across the kitchen, shaking the cereal box Sasuke hadn’t noticed he’d dug out of their free-for-all side of the cabinet.

“Cereal?”

Sasuke bites his lip.  He knows he’s blushing furiously.

“No,” he declares.  “No, I don’t want any.”

He charges pass Naruto and across the apartment.  He pulls on his jacket and boots lying by the front door, slipping out before Naruto’s confused cries can penetrate his brain fog.

He’s in so much trouble.

Sasuke starts by counting the facts.

Naruto is his roommate.  Dating is a terrible idea.  They’d break up.  In a week, in a year, it doesn’t matter when.  Sasuke is not going back to hunting on facebook goddamn marketplace again.  

Naruto is also his friend.  Try as he might to deny it, Naruto is special.  He’s sure and honest.  He doesn’t take shit from anyone (especially from Sasuke), and Sasuke kind of needs someone like that in his life.  Someone to tell him when he’s putting out crap that needs to be cut.

Naruto is completely not his type.

Naruto studies his stars like they plan to dive from the heavens themselves to test Naruto on his knowledge of his life.  He leaves colourful rocks on every available surface of the apartment, and apparently, they all do something different.  It’s not enough to have just one.  

Even their eating is incompatible.  Though Naruto’s cooking is better than any back-hole taco stand Sasuke might come across while stumbling home at three in the morning.

Naruto is loud where Sasuke prefers quiet.  Naruto is bright and colourful where Sasuke loves to hide in the dark.  Naruto is open where Sasuke would rather die, bleeding, than open up with his secrets.

To that effect, as Naruto has clearly stated, Sasuke is not his type either.  Naruto will never date Sasuke.

“You look constipated.”

Sasuke sniffs, blinking out of the revere he had apparently lost himself in.

“Shut up,” he snarls at Itachi.  “I’m thinking.”

Itachi goes silent, tuning his strings, plucking out notes one after the other.

“You’re flat,” Sasuke tells him.

Itachi adjusts and moves on to the next note.

They sit like that for a few moments longer, while Kakazu and Hidan argue over where to arrange their positions across the space.  Sasori and Deidara take bets on who will bow out first.  Kisame helps Pain set up the drum kit.  It’s a cool space.  Dank and dark, very little sunlight filtering in through the windows.  Sasuke guesses the acoustics will be sick.  

A basement rented from a little old lady who said she needed the money badly and, Itachi had stated almost proudly, has lost most if not all of her hearing, so they can play as loud as they want.

It’s almost weird seeing all of Itachi’s college friends together again.  Back when Sasuke was younger, he remembers seeing them almost as much as he saw his own brother, so they all became one familial blob in his young memory.  When Itachi had to drop out of college to support Sasuke, the group all promised, as adults do, to stay in touch.

Adults don’t just ‘keep in touch’ though, and the mark of jobs, responsibilities and life callings left their mark on the weird group that had once shaped Sasuke’s upbringing.  It’s as nice to see them again as it is weird.  They all have real world, real adult jobs, but here they are in the basement of a stranger, arguing whether to play Shinedown or One OK Rock first.  

“So, who is it?” Itachi asks.  He doesn’t look up from his guitar.

Sasuke turns his head.  He’s sunken into the old sofa they dragged off the street, and he can barely see Itachi over where he’s buried himself in the cushion.  “Who’s what?”

“Who has you so distracted?” Itachi stops tuning, giving Sasuke his full attention.

Sasuke only frowns at his brother.  “No one.”

Itachi tilts his head.  “I know when you’re lying,” he says, gently.  Sasuke narrows his eyes and snarls.  “Is it Sakura?  She still not letting you play your songs?”

Sasuke doesn’t answer.  Yes, she’s still being incredibly stubborn around the ‘no original pieces’ war they’re still waging, but both have waved white flags in a temporary truce while they figure out the bands next move.  

“Is it your job?  Are they not giving you enough hours?  I told you, I can loan you money.”

“I don’t want to owe anybody anything.”

“Then think of it as a gift.”

Sasuke rolls his eyes, but still doesn’t answer.  He knows Itachi is studying him; he can sense it.

“So, it’s Naruto?”

“It is not!”

“Got it,” Itachi says, snapping his fingers with a triumphant smirk on his face.  “Thought you two shared a little something special the other night.”

Sasuke pretends to gag.  “Yeah, we shared a mutual agreement that you’re annoying.”

“Ah, young love.  I don’t understand it, but if that’s what it takes.”

“I’m not fucking in love with him!” Sasuke says, a little too loudly.

Kisame chuckles.  “Who’s he in love with?”

“No one!” Sasuke screams at the same time Itachi answers, “His roommate.”

Sasori and Deidara make the same noise between them.

“Don’t do it,” Deidara warns.

“Seriously, don’t do it,” Sasori agrees.  Maybe the only time Sasuke has heard them ever agree.

Sasuke narrows his eyes at them.  “Aren’t you two fucking?”

Deidara gasps, mockingly.  “Who told you?”

“No one, you two are just so obvious about it.”

Sasori snorts.  “Yes, and it’s how we can say with so much certainty; don’t fuck your roommate.  It’s nothing but trouble.”

He says this while giving Deidara a seedy, side-long glance.  Deidara blows him a kiss.

Sasuke sticks a finger down the back of his throat.

“Enough!” Itachi announces.  “Sasuke, you on or not?”

Sasuke’s eyes travel between the now fully erect drum kit and where Itachi moves to stand in the middle of the room.  He strums a few chords, flexing his fingers.

“I thought Pain was your drummer?”

“So is Kisame.  And Zetsu, when he bothers to show up.  We don’t really have rules here.”

Sasuke’s fingers twitch.  He turns to Pain, who nods as if giving permission, tossing his drum sticks to Sasuke.  He snatches them out of the air.

“It might help distract you,” he says, and steps out from behind the kit as an invitation.

“Almost better than sex,” Deidara pipes up, settling his bass over his shoulder.  Sasori retrieves his violin.

Sasuke would argue drumming is better than sex, especially the way he can do it.

And especially the way he can do it here.

Sasuke quickly realises there is no structure to their practice; they really are just a bunch of guys (and Konan) hanging out in a basement, making music.  They play if they feel like it.  They don’t if they don’t.  At one point, neither Hidan nor Itachi want to give up the lead guitarist role during a particular song, so they both play the same part.  It doubles it in volume, making it  kind of grating and Sasuke has to smash the drums twice as hard to be heard over it.  It doesn’t work in harmony with the song at all.

But Sasuke finds he doesn’t care.  It’s what makes it better.  It’s what makes it different. 

Sasori gets bored in the middle of a song and simply steps away.  They all keep going like it doesn’t bother them.

Everyone screams song suggestions left and right, taking turns downloading sheet music and setting it up on the iPad.  Sasuke’s wrists hurt.  His knees ache.  His ears are ringing.  He can’t stop.  He refuses to step away from the drums.  

Playing with his own band is nice.  It’s easy and comfortable.  Sasuke is finally realising; that’s the problem.

They’ve become complacent and rigid in their ways.  They’ll play songs they know will be hits, and haven’t strayed from that format for so long, Sasuke forgot what it was like to experiment.  To hit a drum wrong.  To get off beat on purpose.  To play it differently, just to know what it might sound like.

To have another drummer suggest a different way of playing it, finding they like it both ways, and combining their methods.  

As Sasuke bangs out the beat to some pop hit from the 80s Deidara suggested, he catches eyes with Itachi.  Itachi is smiling at him, wide and unkempt and kind.  Sasuke can’t help it.  He smiles back.

He’s panting, ears ringing, vision swimming with exhaustion as night creeps up on them.

“Are you staying for dinner, Sasuke?” Itachi asks when Sasuke finally stands up.  He stumbles a little.  The blood in his ears still seems intent on continuing the beat of the last song they played.

“No thanks,” Sasuke croaks.  His throat is completely sore from screaming the lyrics over the rancid noise they were all making.  “I think Naruto said he was cooking.”

“Yes; run home to your wife!” Deidara calls.  Itachi swats him over the head.

“Fine, but you still have to tell me what you want to do for your birthday.”

Sasuke should have just stayed for dinner.

“Oh, the infamous Sasuke birthday bash, huh?” Kisame grins, wide and feral, with shark like teeth.  It’s kind of terrifying.

Sasuke sighs, and tries in vain.  “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“For you,” Itachi replies.  “This is the biggest day of the year for me.  When else do I have the excuse to spoil my little brother when he’s not allowed to refuse?”

“I could argue because it is my birthday; my gift should be peace and quiet for once.”

Itachi shakes his head.  “Don’t be selfish.”

Sasuke groans, hisses a good bye to his brother, and trudges up the basement stairs, out into the cool night air.

“What exploded?” Naruto asks, stepping through the door.  He dumps his groceries on the counter before heading to where Sasuke is scrawled out across his corner of the apartment.  He’s surrounded by records, CDs, sheet music, notebooks, band posters.  He has a playlist open on his laptop.  Another one open on his phone.  

Sasuke has his head buried in his notebook.

He hasn’t noticed Naruto.

“Sasuke!” Naruto calls.  Sasuke jumps.

“Shit, when did you get home?”

Naruto rolls his eyes, and crouches down into Sasuke’s mess.

“What’s all this?” he gestures to the wad of battered paper by Sasuke’s knee.

“My process,” Sasuke answers, and before Naruto can question him further, Sasuke cuts him off.  “Don’t interrupt!  I have to get this down!”

His scribbling intensifies.  He curses as another pencil nib snaps under the pressure of his frenzied writing.

Naruto is patient while Sasuke finishes extracting his thoughts from his head.  When he’s finally done, he looks up.  Naruto is trying to read his notes upside down.

“Are these lyrics?”

Sasuke suddenly feels his cheeks go warm.  Naruto knows Sasuke will tap out random beats on any available surface when inspiration suddenly strikes.  He knows Sasuke is creative, but Sasuke so rarely lets anyone see this side of himself.

When he’s a work in progress.

He only ever shows his lyrics to anyone when he knows they’re finished.  When they’re written out in perfect cursive in a black, moleskine notebook he uses only for his final works.  No one has ever seen the piles of notebooks and napkins and wrinkled pieces of paper he has of his unintelligible (and sometimes drunken) handwriting, that consist of one liners or entire versus.

“I got inspired,” is all Sasuke says.  Pencil shavings fly across the room as he sharpens his pencil with his pocket knife.

“What were you doing?” Naruto asks.  He flops onto the floor, getting comfortable.

Sasuke pauses, wondering how much of this he should even tell Naruto, but when he meets Naruto’s expectant gaze, it comes falling out.

“I was with Itachi.  His band had practice and I tagged along.”  He thinks that’s all he has to say, but then feels he has to add:  “They’re really good.”

Naruto is still trying to read his writing upside down.

“When do I get to hear them?” he asks, so earnestly.  “You write an awful lot, but you only ever seem to play covers.”

Sasuke rolls his eyes.  “Sakura has this weird thing against songs we’ve written ourselves.  She says she doesn't want us to come off as try-hard amateurs.”

“Aren’t all starting bands kind of try-hard amateurs?”

Sasuke smiles.  “Exactly; there’s no point fighting it.  May as well own it.”

Naruto giggles.

They sit there in silence.  Sasuke, still scratching words his tired brain can barely make sense of.  Naruto, sifting through the piles of Sasuke’s physical pinterest board.

Sasuke pauses.

“I want to play my own music,” he says.  He says it out loud, for the first time, for himself to finally hear.  He rubs his forehead, graphite dirtied fingers twisting into his bangs.  “I’m tired of just writing them, I want to play my own songs.  I’ve had this voice in my head begging to get out since I was a kid.  I want someone to hear it.  I want someone to take my lyrics and sing them the way they’re meant to be; I don’t want them to grow old and yellow on a page in my drawer.  I want to help some angry kid lost in his own life, like For An Eye did for me.” 

“I know that voice,” Naruto’s eyes are wide, clear, and soft.  “I’ve got one too.”

Their eyes meet.  It’s the middle of the night.  Sasuke hasn’t eaten all day.  Naruto is dusty and sweaty from work.  Sasuke wants to close the distance between them and not use their voices at all, but just be in the moment together, while leaving no space between them.  He’s floored again by how gangly Naruto appears at first glance, yet how gentle he is when no one else is around.

He’s in so much trouble.

Naruto’s eyebrows furrow.  “What are you writing about this time?”

Sasuke fights the urge to suddenly cover his notes with his hands.  “Survival.”

“Survival?”

Sasuke swallows.  “Like, sometimes survival is the goal, the only goal, but it’s how you come out the other side that’s what can make it worth it.”

Naruto leans closer.  Sasuke hadn’t realised he’d offered the page for Naruto to read.  Their knees are touching.

Sasuke breathes carefully, but it doesn’t help.  Naruto smells like dirty city and nighttime mist.  

And baby powder.

“I get it,” Naruto says.  “Like when all your screaming is on the inside, but one day you can just tell; you’re ready to face all that unknown.”

Sasuke snatches his page back.  “I’m stealing that.”

Naruto only laughs.  “Do I get a name in the credits at least?”

“Maybe in the appendix.”

“Oh c’mon!”   Naruto is still laughing.  “I thought you liked me more than that!”

Sasuke lifts his head again, struck down by Naruto’s starlight smile.  Naruto pauses, eyes seeming to shift over every facet of Sasuke’s own expression.  Sasuke begs himself not to, to resist the urge like he resisted to hide from Naruto before, but his eyes dart to Naruto’s lips.  

Naruto mirrors the action.

And shifts closer.

Sasuke refuses to move.  To breathe.  To break whatever is about to happen as Naruto’s warm breath fans over his lips and- 

They both jump as a loud rapture knocks them out of their mutual trance.

“Sasuke?” A desperate cry comes from behind their apartment door.  “Sasuke, are you home!?  Please!”

Naruto scrambles off the floor to let Sakura in.  She greets Naruto with an exasperated smile before dragging herself and the sack on her shoulder over to Sasuke’s couch, where she dumps it onto his blankets.  

“What’s this?” Sasuke asks, even though his head is still spinning.  He doesn’t trust his own memory, even from seconds before.

“I just-  I’m sorry!  I know we’re… weird… right now!  I just can’t do this and I need you to tell me if I’m crazy!”

Without missing a beat, Sasuke replies.  “You are crazy.”

Over Sakura’s shoulder, Naruto makes a face.  Sakura looks like she might burst into tears.

Sasuke attempts to rescue the situation.  “Like, I am too!  Isn’t that the point?”

“I don’t think she means in general, Sasuke,” Naruto says gently.  “I think she means because of something specific.”

Sakura makes a bunch of pained noises.  Sasuke has never seen her so distressed.

“I just-  I mean!” she gasps in air.  “I love Ino!” She suddenly announces.  “Of course I do!  She’s my soulmate.”  These are all facts Sasuke has heard before, but figures it isn’t what Sakura came here to say.  “But marriage is a huge mistake, right?”

There it is.

Sakura continues.  “Like, we were fine before.  We are fine!  Why should we ruin it and get married?”

“You’re not going to ruin it!” Naruto quickly assures her.

“How do you know?” she spits.  Naruto takes a step back.

“Sakura, did something happen?” Sasuke asks, as blunt as ever.  “You’ve been so sure of this for weeks.  You guys don’t even have  a date yet.  Why the sudden freakout?”

Sakura, whether because she can’t or because she won’t is unclear, doesn’t answer him.  Sakura tears the sack she brought with her open and out falls even more white fabric.  It takes her wrestling with the form before Sasuke finally recognises what it is.

“I’m going to try this on,” she announces, holding up her wedding dress.  “And you're going to tell me if I look like a bride or if I’m making a big mistake!”

Sasuke doesn’t have anything to say to that as Sakura heads for the opposite corner to change with as much privacy as their apartment will allow.

“Are you okay, Sakura?” Naruto asks as she passes him.

“No!” she screeches.

Naruto doesn’t have an argument for that either.

They both wait patiently for her to return.  Sasuke fully realises Sakura is having some kind of crisis, but he still can’t stop thinking about before.  About how Naruto looked.  How he looked like he might want to-

“Okay!” Sakura walks back to them, heels clacking.  Sasuke hadn’t even noticed she’d brought her shoes too.  “What do we think?  Be honest!”

So they both stare, and stare…

…and stare.

Sasuke has never pictured himself getting married, he thinks the whole system is rigged, but looking at Sakura now, in her tasteful, classic silhouette, bound in white and lace, he realises that maybe marriage isn’t for everyone, but it is certainly for her.  She looks like she was made for that dress.  Made to wear it for someone she cares about as much as she cares about Ino.

“Sakura,” Naruto starts.  “As someone who has one, I can honestly say, you are serving absolute cunt right now.”

Sasuke doesn’t know how he does it, but Naruto shatters the tension (and maybe the moment) into unrecognisable shards.  They all burst into hysterics.  Sakura is wiping tears from her eyes, cheeks flushed as she holds her ribs from laughing so hard.  She falls onto Sasuke’s couch, giggles tumbling from her lips.

“Why would you say it like that?” Sasuke demands, holding himself up against Naruto’s shaking shoulder.

“Thought it might get the point across.”

Sakura sits up straight, laughter slowly dying, brushing imaginary dust off her bodice.  

“So, it’s okay?” She still sounds like she’s begging.  “Like, Ino won’t want to run screaming if she sees me in this?”

“Oh, she’ll run,” Sasuke starts, and before he ruins Naruto’s good work, adds,  “Run screaming toward you.”

She makes a face anyway.  “You’re not as good at this as Naruto.”

“Damn,” he mutters, with no real loss or malice.  At least some of the tension has visibly left her body.

“I haven’t heard much about your wedding,” Naruto says, making conversation.  

“We’re terrible at planning,” Sakura starts.  “But we do love shopping.  Hence; the dress before the date.”

Naruto nods in understanding.

“You’ll be fine,” Sasuke states, in as sure of a way as he can without sounding like a jerk.  “You’re a…what was it?” He turns to Naruto.  “A Gemini and a Taurus?  You’re a match made for the stars?”

Both Naruto and Sakura groan.  

“She’s an Aries matched to a Libra!” Naruto says, completely serious.  “I’d never tell a Gemini to marry a Taurus!  You don’t want that much strong personality in one room together; let alone a marriage!”

Sasuke rolls his eyes.  “My point made.”

Despite herself, Sakura smiles.  She looks infinitely more relaxed.  “Thank you.  Both of you.”

“Speaking of stars,” Naruto starts.  “I think I have some shattuckite.  Take it home with you.  It’ll focus your intuition and give you courage!”

Naruto makes off to find his precious stones, leaving Sasuke standing there awkwardly beside his maybe friend in her wedding dress.  Sakura fidgets, adjusting her veil, before taking it off completely and holding it in her lap.

“You really do look great,” Sasuke says, unable to think of anything else to say.

Sakura continues to fidget.

“About…about last week.  I mean, with your songs…”

Sasuke makes a noise.  “It’s cool.”

A part of him wonders if how weird they’ve been lately has contributed to Sakura’s emotional distress.  Work, band practice, planning a wedding, and on top of everything else, fighting with your best friend, musn’t feel good.  He feels kind of bad; he had forgotten they’re friends first, everything else after.  Maybe he shouldn’t have pushed her away over a disagreement.

“It’s not that I don’t think you’re good,” she clarifies.  “But this band isn’t some kind of hobby I do on a whim.  It’s everything to me.”

“I know that,” Sasuke frowns.  “I’m not half-assing this just because I came in last.”

“You’re furthest from an afterthought,” Sakura assures him.  “But, I just don’t think we’re at a point we can take risks.  We’re getting better and better each time we play.  We’re so close to something big!  I can feel it.  I just don’t want anything to ruin our momentum before we can reach it.”

Sasuke has a thousand arguments roaring in his head.

That taking risks is exactly how they can further their momentum.  That his songs wouldn’t ruin that; and he would never let them.  That there’s nothing wrong with playing covers if a cover band is all they ever want to be, but Sasuke had thought they wanted to be more.

Yet he finds they only swirl in his head momentarily.  That it’s easy to calm himself, and to nod in agreement.  

To pick up the fight now isn’t worth it.

“Yeah, I know that,” he replies.  Sakura smiles, but she looks like she might cry again.  “We’re cool,” Sasuke says again.  He takes up the seat beside her, reaches out and embraces her.  She immediately relaxes, head on his chest, still sniffling slightly.  She brushes her tears away on his shirt.

“We’ll get there,” she promises.  “You’ll be the first person I ask when we do.”

Sasuke nods against her hair.

Naruto returns with his special rock, warm in his palm, which he gives to Sakura.  

“Keep this close when you’re in doubt,” he instructs.

She rubs her reddened cheeks.  

“That was embarrassing,” she laughs.

“Yeah, seriously,” Sasuke agrees.  “What the hell?”  

But instead of bursting into tears again, Sakura just slaps his arm. 

“You’re such a guy!”

“Thank you.”

After helping her out of her dress and storing it carefully back in its sack, Naruto gets to work fixing them mug cakes topped with raw cookie dough.  Sasuke wonders if it’s worth having an emotional breakdown more regularly if this is the treatment.  When she’s fully calm and full of sugar, Sakura explains she can’t pinpoint exactly what set her off, only when she usually feels so overwhelmed, she’d call Sasuke and have him distract her.  With them fighting, she felt she wasn’t able.

Sasuke feels his guilt double.

It was only out of desperation that she had to ignored it all in favour for storming their apartment and demanding his attention.

This time, however, she leaves with a smile on her face and protectively clutching her wedding dress.

Sasuke and Naruto wave her goodbye.

“Well, that’s enough drama for one night,” Naruto says on a yawn.

Sasuke agrees.  

They separate to crawl into their respective places of sleep and turn off the lights.  Sasuke tries to sleep, he really does, but if he’s honest, his fight with Sakura still weighs on his chest.  Sakura promised they’d play his songs soon, but he’s impatient.  He’s ready now, and he’s never been good at holding himself back.  

If Sakura feels her band isn’t ready for that direction, Sasuke thinks, wide awake and staring at the high ceiling, that’s fine.  Completely fine even.

He might know a band who is.

Chapter Text

“Who wrote these?” Deidara asks, flipping through Sasuke’s notebook.  And not his moleskine notebook for only completed works.  Deidara has picked up a notebook that Sasuke no longer even recognises.  He looks over Deidara’s shoulder.

“Oh, that was after our parents just died,” he says simply.  

Deidara glances over his shoulder, a guilty look on his face.

“Oh, well.  They’re amazing.”

Sauske rolls his eyes.  “Eat shit!  They’re fucking terrible.”

Deidara breathes a sigh of relief.  “They really are!  Wish I was there with you when it happened, so I wouldn’t have to face the pain when I wasn’t.   My guy, get a therapist.”

“I’m liking this one,” Zetsu has another one open in his lap, feet propped up on his keyboard.  “Don’t feel like sleeping unless it’s with my greatest love; drugs, sex and alcohol.”

Surprisingly, everyone has a good laugh.  Including Sasuke.

“Don’t let Itachi see that one,” Sasuke warns.  “He’s still convinced I’m a virgin.”

“Has he seen the way you stand?”

Sasuke flips Deidara a choice finger.  

It was the hardest choice he ever had to make, but it was one he made entirely on his own.  With the help of a small, yet overly eager, nudge from Itachi.  If Itachi’s band really is in the business of playing anything, risk versus loss be damned, then this might be the outlet Sasuke needs to discover more of the unheard voice inside himself.  If he can finally scream here, who knows how loud he can go.  How far his voice can be heard.

He’s not ashamed of his high school days of writing; no one was cool in high school.  It’s almost cathartic to see how far he’s come, at least as far as subtlety goes.  But it’s jarring hearing a voice he kept inside himself for so long read aloud.

This is what he wants, though.  This power to say anything and make it into music for others to hear too.  For others to repeat.

Itachi trods down the basement stairs, the last box of Sasuke’s childhood notebooks under his arms.

“I still can’t believe you didn’t throw any of these away,” Sasuke marvels, picking one up from the pile and flipping through the memories.  The first days living away from the apartment he grew up in, finally on his own, coming back to him in smudged ink and pen lines.

“Why would I?” Itachi asks.  “Sometimes, I felt like reading these was the only way I could reach you.”

He says it so casually.

Sasuke avoids meeting Itachi’s eyes.

“There’s a lot of material here,” Pain mentions.  “Where do you want to start?”

Honestly, Sasuke hadn’t thought this far ahead.  Besides scrawling lyrics and picking up beats, he doesn’t know the first thing about writing a song.  At least writing all parts of a song.

“Let’s narrow down the theme,” Itachi starts.  Sasuke is thankful for his input.  “Then we can find the lyrics, set the tone, and begin on the basic melody.

“Stop talking like you’ve done this before,” Deidara snaps.

Has he done this before?  Sasuke watches his brother, side-eyeing him, trying to gauge exactly what ambition he’s carrying.  He’s always been impossible to read.

“Research is free, Deidara,” Itachi replies.

“You googled ‘how to write a song’?” Sasuke asks.

“This is something that seemed important to you.” Itachi doesn’t even blush.  “I figured any information we had and where to begin could only help.”

Sasuke tries not to gawk, his heart thundering in his chest, overwhelmed with the ways Itachi shows he cares.

“I have something,” Sasuke says, quietly.  His fist encloses around the piece of paper in his pocket.  It was the only lyrics he hadn’t planned on sharing.  The ones he was scribbling last night, with Naruto’s help.  He draws the paper out of his pocket and hands it to Itachi.  The others take turns reading it over his shoulder.

Itachi smiles.

“I think we can work with this.”

He’s late.

Sasuke grinds his teeth, glances at the door, takes a sip of beer and taps his foot impatiently.

“Calm down, Sasuke,” Sakura says.  She steps up beside him, holding her own drink.  “He said he’d be here.  It’s not like Naruto to ditch.”

Sasuke only grumbles.

Their apartment is filled with ambling bodies in various states of inebriation.  They dragged Sasuke’s sound system toward the middle of the room, cranked the volume and played one of Sasuke’s tamer playlists.  They dimmed the lights as best they could.  Ino found a bunch of old disco lights powered by batteries, and somehow fixed them to the walls.  

Someone strung up a Happy Birthday banner, against Sasuke’s request.

He should be having fun.  He should be fighting over the playlist with Itachi and playing truth or drink with Suigetsu.  He should be pretending he’s definitely not interested in the gifts they bought him.  He should be stuffing pizza down his throat like he’s starved.

But the lack of a certain body has given him a nervous energy he can’t shake.  Maybe he should dig around Naruto’s desk for some blue calcite.

“Is he still bitching?” Itachi joins them.

“ And moaning,” Sakura answers.

“And after all the work I did,” Itachi mutters.  He says it with a smile on his face.  He’s enjoying Sasuke’s aversion to a big party as much as any big brother would enjoy the suffering of their younger sibling.  

“I didn’t ask for this!” Sasuke exclaims.  Though even he knows he’d hate missing it.

His phone, warmed by the death grip he has around it, buzzes in his hand.

Naruto
> almost there!  

Sasuke grins.

“Finally!  A smile!” Itachi teases.  Sasuke ignores him.

Sasuke
> hurry up before I drink all the cruisers

Naruto
> you wouldn’t dare!

He’s still grinning when finally the apartment door slides open, and Naruto shoves his head inside.  He looks around the apartment, over the heads of strangers they’ve invited into their home.  Sasuke watches wistfully as Naruto searches for him.  

“Hey!” Naruto calls when he finds who he’s looking for.

Sasuke’s head is already fuzzy from the too many drinks he’s had trying to calm his nerves, but now that Naruto is here, it’s hard to hide away from his anticipation.  Now he’s nervous for a different reason.

Fuck it, it’s his birthday.  

“You’re late!” he says.  He knows his smile betrays how little anger he truly feels.

“I know!  I’m sorry!” Naruto returns his smile.  “I was picking up your present; it took longer than expected!”

Sasuke could care less about the gift.  He wants to drag Naruto into the corner and see if he can win him for a round of seven minutes in heaven.

“Must be one hell of a present,” Sasuke comments.

“I sure hope so!  It was expensive!”

Sasuke blanches.  “You didn’t have to-”

“Shut up!” Naruto interrupts.  “Yes I did!  Besides, you won’t be saying that when you see who it is!”

Sasuke tilts his head.  “ Who it is?”

Naruto opens the door wider, and two men Sasuke hadn’t realised were standing there, step into the apartment.  The first is clearly older, red streaks tattooed down his face, a wart on his nose as a mark of his age, but his eyes are bright as he looks around the room.

The other lopes in behind him.  The air leaves Sasuke’s lungs.

“Sasuke, this is Jiraiya, my godfather, and-”

“Kakashi Hatake!?” Sasuke squeaks.

Genuinely squeaks.   How embarrassing.

Kakashi raises a hand, a smile evident even through his one visible eye.  “Yo!”

Sasuke eyes pinball round his skull.  Looking from Naruto, to Kakashi, back to Naruto, to Jiraiya’s curious gaze, back to Naruto, to Kakashi-

“How?” he wheezes.

Naruto answers through his grin, unbelievably happy with himself.  “Remember how I said my godfather used to manage a bunch of bands?  Well, For An Eye was one of them!”

“Had to cut it short to raise this little tyke!” Jiraiya says, rubbing a hand affectionately in Naruto’s fuzzy, blonde strands.  “But I stayed in touch with the ones I liked!”

“You flatter me,” Kakashi says.  

Sasuke doesn’t know what else to say.  What else he can say.  What do you say when you faced with your heroes?

“Naruto tells me you play the drums?” Kakashi enquires.  Sasuke nods stiffly.  Kakashi continues to eye him.  “Show me.”

Sasuke is frozen in place by the demand.  Naruto has to be the one to start shoving him toward his kit.  

“Whaddaya wanna play?” Naruto asks, moving to the speakers to take charge of the playlist.  Sasuke is still trying to get the feeling back in his fingers.  

He finds himself behind his drums.  Everyone begins gathering to watch, and Naruto is at the ready with Sasuke’s phone hooked into the speakers.  Playing for a crowd, even one that is so directly paying attention to him, isn’t a strange experience.  But with Kakashi Hatake himself dead-centre among it all, Sasuke might regret ever even having picked up a stick.

He swallows audibly.

“Naruto,” he whispers.  Naruto hasn’t taken his eyes off him.  Sasuke can feel his nerves in his eyeballs.  He knows how tense he looks, if it’s escaping in even a small amount of how much he feels it.  Naruto gives him a concerned look.  Sasuke just swallows again.  “Thank you.”

He doesn’t even wait for the song to start before he’s smashing the first hits of a beat.  Naruto, having heard Sasuke play a thousand times in their small amount of time together, in their small amount of space together, finds the one he’s looking for and hits play.

Sasuke’s solo melds with the beginning of the song perfectly.

If there is anywhere Sasuke never feels anything other than entirely himself, it’s when he’s doing this.

Naruto stays crouched beside him, changing songs at Sasuke’s request.  Sasuke feels the intense gaze of everyone watching him while he plays as he does every time; like he was born to.  Head bouncing.  Feet stomping.  Sticks flying at speeds only he can see.

The crowd eventually disperses back to their original activities, but Kakashi and Jiraiya remain.  As one song trickles into another, Sasuke mouths two words to Naruto, who finds the song and switches it in so Sasuke never has to even pause.

“Oh?” Kakashi seems taken aback.  “Haven’t heard this one in a while.”

Jiraiya’s laugh is lost in the first notes of Broken Youth.

Sasuke’s impromptu solo concert comes to an end naturally.  He’s panting.  His wrists hurt.  His neck is stiff.  He’s high on the feeling of it all.

“You’re not bad,” Kakashi comments.  Sasuke’s high grows even more intense.  “Can I make some suggestions?”

Sasuke nods eagerly.

He loses track of the rest of the party.  He let’s Kakashi sit on his seat, even lets him adjust the height, and play out beats while offering small motions of advice.  Sasuke forces himself to memorise the movements Kakashi demonstrates and the different sounds he creates.  Then Sasuke asks him about songs.  About writing and finding the necessary beat inside it.  About lyrics and drive.  What he did when he was stuck.  What he did when he wasn’t; how did he manage to stop.

Kakashi is patient as he answers every question.

“I didn’t know you were interested in playing your own songs,” Kakashi says.  They’ve found themselves in the kitchen.  Sasuke cracked open two beers, passed one to Kakashi, but neither have touched them.  “Naruto showed me some of your stuff, but they were all covers.”

Sasuke doesn’t know whether to find Naruto to hit him or kiss him twice as hard.

“I’m sort of- out of sorts- with my band at the moment.”  Kakashi raises his eyebrow, a silent invite to continue if Sasuke chooses.  “I want us to play our own songs, but someone else has a different idea of the direction of the band.”

Kakashi hums.  “A tale as old as time.  You can boast you’re a democracy all you want, but there’s always someone who gets their way while another finds themselves a little left behind.”

Sasuke’s eyes widen, too big for his face.  

“That’s exactly what it feels like!”

He doesn’t mean to come off sounding like a child, but it’s all how he’s felt from the mouth of someone he admires.  It’s hard not to ride the validation.

“Minato was very much the same for us; it didn’t help that I think Jiraiya favoured him a little,” Kakashi says, talking of their lead singer and guitarist.  “I was also the youngest; I felt that was sometimes used against me.”

“Sakura is just stubborn,” Sasuke grumbles.  

Kakashi hums again.  “Don’t stop writing though.  You’ll be grateful when you can finally release all that built up aggression.  And it hits different when you can.”

Sasuke shakes his head.  “I’d never stop writing.”

Kakashi nods.  “Good.”  A silence hangs over them.  Kakashi fidgets, like he’s nervous to keep talking.  Sasuke is patient in return.  “I might be speaking out of turn, but don’t be afraid to find your voice somewhere else.”

It’s Sasuke’s turn to raise an eyebrow.  Kakashi continues.

“There’ll always be another band, another group, one whose progress might be better suited to yours.  I understand the need for loyalty, but is it loyal of them to be holding you back when you’re already further ahead?”

Sasuke’s mind immediately pictures Itachi and the others.  The way they play only for fun, only for the thrill of playing good music surrounded by good company.  They don’t seem to care about structure or set lists or even performing for anyone other than themselves.

And Sasuke is free there.  He can play what he wants, say what he wants.  He’s only played with them once, but he was never once told no.  Itachi and his friends don’t seem to understand the concept of it.  Only that there’s always worth in trying.

If they fail, they just snicker, point fingers, and pick another song.

There’s room for mistakes.  It means there’s room for growth.

“Yeah,” Sasuke agrees.  “Maybe I’ll look into that.”

As if summoned, Itachi materialises beside them.

“So, you’re the one who turned my brother?” he asks, teasing smile always on his face.  Sasuke turns flaming red.

“Why?” he asks.  “Why would you say that?”

Kakashi makes a lost expression.  “I did what now?”

Sasuke glares at Itachi, who snickers into the lip of his beer bottle.

“Did you come over here just to embarrass me?” Sasuke demands. 

“Not really, but that’s a happy coincidence.”

Kakashi watches them bicker for a few moments.  Sasuke eventually pretends he’s had enough, and walks away, shoving Itachi half-heartedly as he leaves.  When he looks back however, his heart swells with fondness for his family.  He watches Itachi strike up a conversation with Kakashi.  Sasuke suddenly feels weighed down with the gratefulness he feels that Itachi is back in his life.

He only moved back to the city a year ago, and it was a rough start for them both.  Itachi, having been an absent figure to Sasuke growing up, understood he couldn’t just suddenly demand a relationship of Sasuke now that he was around.  But Sasuke had wanted it very badly, badly enough to want to make it work.

Now they can talk like they used to when they were young enough that Sasuke barely remembers it.  Before their parents died.  Before Itachi had to grow up ten years too fast.  And now that Sasuke’s older, he can appreciate everything Itachi sacrificed for him so he could grow up in his family home.  

Sasuke wanders further into the party, in search of someone else he feels grateful for.

Sasuke finds Naruto on the roof with Kiba and Shino.  The scent of weed in the midnight air isn’t foreign to Sasuke, but it is surprising.  

“Sasuke!” Naruto calls from his lawn chair.  “How was it?”

The others turn to observe Sasuke ambling across the space.

“It was okay.”

“C’mon!”  Naruto throws his head back and groans.  “It took me weeks to organise this!  Am I the greatest roommate or what?”

“And I’d go with ‘or what’.”

Naruto sticks his tongue out.  Sasuke retaliates with the same.

“Okay, love birds,” Kiba scoffs.  “The munchies have hit.  I’m going downstairs.”

“Shino, there’s a family of beetles living in our kitchen,” Sasuke offers.  Shino just shrugs, but Sasuke can see him fighting the urge to scurry off to find them, while also refrain from being anyone’s pest man again.  Sasuke whines.  “Please!   It’s my birthday.”

“They keep crawling up the walls while I’m at the stove,” Naruto joins.  “Little shits scare me every time!  I’ve got oil scars places I don’t want there to be oil scars!”

Shino stays muted.  So Sasuke plays his last card.

“Fine, I’ll just set baits.”

“Don’t you dare!  You’ll disrupt the entire ecosystem of your apartment!”

“It’s an apartment; there shouldn’t be an ecosystem!”

“Fine, I’ll go be rid of them for you.  Responsibly.”  

Sasuke and Naruto grin with victory, even while Shino mutters a happy fucking birthday under his breath.

Sasuke takes Shino’s previous place, seated directly beside Naruto on the crumbling outdoor couch someone dragged up here even before Sasuke moved into the building.  They both lounge there, beside each other, under the black sky.  Naruto’s breathing is deep, but becomes interrupted at intervals, like he’s keeping himself from falling asleep by startling himself awake.

“Seriously,” Sasuke says.  He’s quiet, not wanting to destroy what comfort they’ve found here.  “Thank you.  That was awesome!”

Naruto snickers.  “So I really am the best roommate?”

“Yes, fine, you can be the best roommate.”

Naruto laughs again.

Sasuke sits up straighter to look at Naruto proper.  “Why didn’t you tell me you knew Kakashi before?”

Naruto, slow and mindful for once, seems to be considering his answer.  

“When you first told me you liked For An Eye , we were only just kind of starting to talk like, ya know, friends.  But I still couldn’t figure out if you liked me.  Or if you even wanted me around.  If I told you, I don’t know what I was afraid of.  That you'd think I was lying and hate me for being a try-hard.  Or you didn’t like me but would pretend you did to get to Kakashi.”

Sasuke considers this.  He’s honestly not sure how he would have reacted either.  

“That makes sense,” he says instead.

“Then when I did want to tell you, you were acting weird,” Naruto continues.  Sasuke’s nerves bunch.  “You’d get all edgy around me.  Like you were the one who couldn’t decide if you liked me or not.  We’d be totally chilling one day then the next you wanted me out of the apartment.”  Despite the words, Naruto just giggles.  “Oh my god, Sakura was right.  You really are just like a cat!”

Sasuke isn’t laughing.

“I do like you,” he confesses.  Naruto goes quiet.  “You’re a really good friend.  And I don’t just mean tonight.  You’ve always been amazing.”  He’s so grateful to Naruto, and it’s not fair Naruto doesn’t know.  “You can’t lie for shit; so I know you stick around because you want to.  Not just because we share rent.  That’s more than I can say for most people.”

There are no stars and they’re in a darkened corner of the city where they barely get any light from the skyline, but when Sasuke looks over, Naruto’s eyes are shimmering.

“Yeah?”

Sasuke can’t help but smile back.  “Yeah.”

Naruto glances away before saying, “I think you’re a pretty good friend too.”

Sasuke is so desperate to ask though; what if they were more?  What if Sasuke leant across the space and made them not friends?  What if his limits don’t just exist in Sakura’s band?  What if he can push this further too?

Would Naruto let him?

“Oh my fuck, I’m so high!” Naruto suddenly wheezes.  Sasuke jolts, landing back in his seat.  “I really thought you were about to kiss me.”

Sasuke’s heart freezes over, while Naruto laughs full body on his side of the couch.

“I’m sorry!” he gasps.  “I get real handsy when I’m like this!”

Sasuke can’t relax.  His heart is going a mile a minute.  He’s trying desperately to recall the last forty-five seconds.  He had leant over the space.  He had drawn himself closer to Naruto.  He had been about to kiss him.

Fuck.

“S’not your fault,” Sasuke mumbles.  He stands up so fast, he’s dizzy.  He can blame his uneven gate back to the stairway on the alcohol he’s had, and the second hand intoxication of all Naruto’s weed.

“Wait up!  Don’t leave me up here alone!” Naruto’s footsteps are also clumsy.  He catches up to Sasuke, but seems to be careful not to touch him.  Sasuke is relieved.

They make it back downstairs and immediately disperse.  Like opposite fields of the same magnet, they avoid each other for the rest of the night.  Sasuke lies to himself, tells himself it’s a good thing when Naruto ends up making out with Kiba on the fire escape.  Sasuke tells himself this is how it’s meant to be, when he finds himself flirting with one of Suigetsu’s work buddies.  

It doesn’t go anywhere.  They make out for five minutes, realise they’re bored as fuck with the other, bump friendly fists and return to their respective friend groups.

Naruto and Kiba stumble back through the window with their hands in each other’s back pockets, giggling like school children, flushed with the good kind of embarrassment.  

Sasuke burns with jealousy.

He distracts himself the only way he knows truly works.  He gets back behind his drums.  

He plays angry and he plays loud.  The neighbours are seriously going to hate them. 

He catches Naruto’s eye from behind his cymbals, and kicks his pedals even harder, frustration blooming.

Eventually, the party ends.  Jiraiya says goodbye to Naruto.  Shikamaru, Kiba and Hinata wander out to share an uber, with Shino and his jar full of beetles safely in his coat pocket.  Everyone else follows.  Kakashi stops by Sasuke on his way out.  

“Where’s a good place to get a burrito around here?”

Itachi beats him to an answer.

“The diner down the block doesn’t have burritos, but it has the most exquisite pasta you’ll ever eat.”

“Pasta at three in the morning?”  Kakashi ponders this.  “That could work.”

Itachi grins.  “I’ll show you where!”

They leave side by side, still gossiping between them like friends who haven’t seen each other for years.  The sudden shift would confuse Sasuke, if he wasn’t already too tired to care.

Sakura and Ino are the only ones left.  They grab every blanket they can find, regardless of its true owner, and spread them out amongst the living room beanbags.  

“No!” Sasuke gripes.  “It’s too late for a slumber party!  I want to sleep in my own bed.”

Naruto isn’t listening either, just plays the big spoon behind Sakura, who is big spoon to Ino.

“Shut up and join the cuddle pile, birthday boy!”  Sakura is having none of his whining.  

Sasuke finds it hilarious that he never seems to get to use any of his own consent despite it being his birthday.

Except Ino is already dead alseep; it would be weird to join at her end.  He has no choice but to wriggle under the covers and lie down behind Naruto.  His skin is on fire.  Nothing but a thin t-shirt and his boxer shorts between them.  Naruto, thankfully, is at least wearing a sleeveless top tonight.  Sasuke places his hand lightly on his hip.

“If that’s how you cuddle, no wonder the girls don’t like you,” Naruto scoffs.  Sasuke can hear the grin in his voice.

“Shut up!” Sasuke bites, and wraps himself full body around Naruto, knee hiked over his hip and arms winding around to his front, squeezing Naruto to him by his chest.  He imagines Naruto stiffening at first, before relaxing into it.  He imagines Naruto shuffling to get comfortable again.  He imagines Naruto drawing closer to him than he does to Sakura.

He imagines all of this, because the alternative is believing Naruto is doing it on purpose, and he can’t let himself believe that.

“Better?” Sasuke demands, heart about to beat out through his throat.

Naruto, thankfully still a little high, giggles.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re the best I’ve ever had.”

Sakura giggles too.

The others fall asleep like that.  Entangled with each other, this weird little group they’ve found themselves in, joined together by nothing and no one but their own preordained need to hang on to whoever shows them a little bit of kindness.  Sasuke is warm.  He’s comfortable.  

But he ignores who is making him comfortable and why.  He ignores Naruto’s warmth, pretending he’s ice cold.  He ignores when Naruto, seemingly in his sleep, tangles his fingers with Sasuke’s, which have drifted to his stomach.  He ignores his aching chest pressed to the back of the boy he so desperately likes.  

He ignores the fact that, for tonight, this is as close as they’ll ever be.

“What the fuck is this?” Sasuke is in a mood.  It’s a good mood, unfortunately.  He’s in a good mood because he spent all night spooning the boy giving him feelings.  He woke up before Naruto, and slowly distanced himself before he could get used to it.  The feeling still lingers though.

“It’s a flyer,” Itachi replies.  “Figured you’d seen them before.  Or is this when we find out you can write but you can’t read?”

Deidara and Sasori holler with laughter.

“Har har.”  Sasuke has read the flyer; his question hasn’t changed.  “A Battle of the Bands?  Really?  What do you take me for?”

“Honestly?”  Itachi’s eyes also flick to the flyer.  “Juvenile.”

Sasuke scoffs.  “I know right.”

There’s a beat of silence.  “I was talking about you.”

Sasuke locks eyes with his brother.  “I’ve been playing the drums since my hands were big enough to hold the sticks- don’t make it dirty!” He hisses at Deidara and Sasori, who are still cackling like mischievous twelve year olds with their first naughty magazine.  “You’re calling me juvenile?”

Itachi rolls his eyes.  

“Don’t underestimate this,” he tries to explain again.  “This is the biggest Battle of the Bands in the country.  Bands who are already well-known still travel in to compete in this.  Bands who wouldn’t need to, but do it for the exposure and the connections it affords them.  To be featured on the club’s page.  This is the kind of contest record labels pay attention to; trying to uncover the next great rock band to sign before they’re considered over hyped and over commercialised.”

Sasuke, begrudgingly, finds himself interested.

“And you guys are going to enter?”

Itachi smiles.  “We are going to enter.”

Sasuke blanches.  “I’m in a band.”  And it’s the pissiest excuse he could give.  “You already have a drummer.”  The next pissiest excuse he could give.  “I barely know your songs.”

“It’s not for months, you can practise with us.”

“With what spare time?”

“You’re here all the time anyway!” Kisame interjects.  “The least you could do is contribute the one time we decide to get serious.”

Kisame, Sasuke discovers, is telling the truth.  If he’s not at practice for his own band, he’s drumming here.  His own kit hasn’t gotten much use in the past weeks.  The most he’s used it was at his own birthday party.  

He’s seamlessly slotted into Itachi’s space, amongst Itachi’s people.  He hadn’t even realised how easy it had been.  When they’re not fooling around with various covers, they’re working on Sasuke’s song.  Others are more interested in developing it than others, but they’ll still walk past while Sasuke and Itachi are working on the melody, pick up their own instrument and play a few lines in suggestion.

Or, in Deidara’s case, relentlessly mock and tease him.

Which is good.  It’s when they’re silent that Sasuke knows he’s found something real.

“At least consider it,” Itachi requests.

But Sasuke doesn’t need to.  He’s already decided.  He’s stubborn in his own way, and always to do with music.  He’s already creating maps and timetables in his head; how he’s going to balance this with work and practice with Sakura’s band.  It’s not like Sakura ever has to know, either.  It’s not like he signed a contract with her in blood.  He’s allowed a life outside of Dead Girls Rocking!! is what he tells himself.

“I’ll do it,” Sasuke announces.  Itachi smiles.  “On one condition.”

"Keeping your intentions hidden until you have something I want?"  Itachi’s face falters, but his smile only grows wider.  “I've been a bad influence on you.  Okay, fine.  What’s your condition?”

Sasuke holds up the new notebook he started this morning, already pouring with lyrics, and this time, melody scores scribbled into the margins.

“We play one of my songs.”

Chapter Text

Sasuke wakes up to a weight pressing on his hips.  It’s a pleasant weight.  It’s a little warmer than Sasuke would like, but he can’t help his half-asleep craving to curl towards it.

“Hey, pervert!” Naruto’s familiar voice calls.

Sasuke mumbles.  Mumbles for him to stop talking, because he’s disturbing Sasuke and whatever pleasantness he’s found on his hips.  Then the weight shifts.  Sasuke is maybe a little less than half asleep now, especially when that movement presses against certain parts of his body that are definitely far more awake than his head.

He moans a little.

“Wake up!” Naruto whines.

Sasuke opens his eyes and blinks.  Naruto is blurry above him, white blonde hair a halo around him as he’s framed by the morning sun.  His blue eyes are glowing.  Glowing!  He’s shirtless, and that dorky grin on his face makes Sasuke want to pull him down and kiss his teeth and his tongue and his dorky little whiskers and…

“What the fuck are you doing!?” Sasuke asks, horrified.

He never thought he’d be horrified to find Naruto straddling him.  Naruto is unphased.

“Open your mouth!” Naruto says.

Sasuke gapes up at his roommate, his mind (that’s still a little left behind) races to catch up.  

“No?”

“Just do it, man!”

Sasuke, obeying only because he’s too confused not to, obliges.  Naruto shoves something round onto Sasuke’s tongue.  It’s smooth and tasteless, but plump and would give if Sasuke chewed it, so he does.  A burst of sweet flavour covers his mouth.

Sasuke moans.

“Holy shit, what is that?”  Sasuke pushes the covers off his chest and attempts to sit up, but Naruto is still resting on his stomach.

“My cherry tomats came in!” Naruto excitedly announces.  Sasuke is still chewing.  Still lost in wonder.  “Congratulations!  I gave you first of the season.”

Sasuke swallows.  “I think that’s the best thing I've ever put in my mouth,” he says, only kind-of joking.

Then Naruto beams, and Sasuke’s heart makes that weird (and annoying) pitter-patter it does whenever he manages to make Naruto happy.  

“I told you fresh veggies are only good if you grow them yourself.”

Sasuke notices the handful of red orbs Naruto is holding, precious like, in his hand.  Sasuke grabs another before Naruto can protest, crunching loudly.  They’re fresh off the vine, and feel cool on Sasuke’s tongue.

“Now can I expand the garden?” Naruto is eyeing Sasuke with a look that says I gotcha.

Sasuke scowls.  “Where’s it gonna go, idiot?  Where the fridge should be?”

“Well if we rearrange the furniture a little-”

“I’m not starting a veggie farm in our apartment!  Keep it on your window sill like we agreed!”

Naruto, only half-dejected, rolls his eyes.  He still hasn’t moved.  Normally, Sasuke would have kicked him off the moment he realised he was pinned down.  He doesn't exactly like feeling caged.  Given the circumstances (the ‘he’s totally in love with him but don’t tell anyone’ circumstances) Sasuke has allowed Naruto to stay there just a few moments longer.

Then he remembers the other, rapidly growing circumstances, and proceeds to shove Naruto to the floor in a hurry.

“Hey!” Naruto whines, after his head hits the floor.  “I give you my best tomat and you won’t even share your couch?”

Sasuke can’t tell if he’s truly hurt (emotionally or physically) but doesn’t really have the time to find out.  He keeps his blanket bunched around his hips as he calls dibs for the shower and strolls across to their bathroom corner.

Luckily, Naruto simply accepts Sasuke’s usual cadence of destroying any and all human interaction he’s met with, stands up, and heads into the kitchen to start breakfast.  He asks Sasuke if he wants anything else in his morning fry up.

“Tomatoes!” Sasuke replies, double checking Naruto really isn’t watching before stripping off his underwear and stepping under the cold spray.

“That goes without saying!”  Naruto replies.

“Then why did you ask?”

“You’re impossible!”

They’re usually pretty good at looking away respectfully when the other is using the shower.  They can’t do much about the few glimpses they’ve both caught here and there, but the general rule of thumb is there to follow.

Sasuke still stands with his back to the kitchen, and his hard-on to the wall.  He debates whether it would be faster (and far less suspicious) just to beat it out now, or wait for it to go away on its own.  But then Naruto starts singing, banging pots and pans around, and Sasuke can see him so clearly even with his back turned and Naruto across the room.

Full of morning light and new life he birthed himself, in his element, making food for others and using his overly good nature to keep even someone as dark as Sasuke from starving.  He’s shirtless, so the heat of the stove will make him a little sweaty.  Definitely a little flushed.  His nipples will stand out.  His muscles will strain as he cuts tomatoes and rosemary and spreads salt across his vegan eggs.

Sasuke accepts defeat to his own dick, and wraps a hand around it.

But a quick jerk off in polite (and rather desired) company does not a satisfied libido make.  Sasuke huffs.  

Itachi scowls at him.  “Are you done sulking?”

Sasuke just huffs again.

Itachi rolls his eyes and scribbles something in the notebook he was holding.  “It’s coming along,” he states.  They’ve been working on Sasuke’s song all week.  Morning and night, every spare moment they get.  Even at work, so long as Sakura isn’t with him and his manager isn’t around, Sasuke will talk with Itachi through his earphones the entire time.  He’ll hum tunes, talk in a stream of conscious kind of manner, letting Itachi do the writing from his desk.

They play out their ideas when the whole band gets together.  As Sasuke has entered the Battle of the Bands as their drummer, he hasn’t seen much of Pain lately.  But Kisame comes and goes as he sees fit.  Sasori too.  Deidara, surprisingly, has showed up relatively on time whenever they agree to work on the set list.

Sasuke hasn’t seen much of Dead Girls Rocking!! recently.  Sakura and Ino are absorbed in their wedding.  Hinata has a lot more family business to attend to than usual.  It suits Sasuke just fine.  It makes it easier to hide what he’s really doing with his spare time.

Plus, it gets him far away from Naruto.

“Except for the bridge.”  Sasuke looks over Itachi’s shoulder at the page of messy writing that is supposed to represent his song.  A song he’s meant to play to a room of hundreds.  He’s been pretending that fact alone hasn’t made him more uptight about his process than usual.  “I still can’t quite nail it.”

“It’s good, Sasuke.”

“I’m not playing good to the public.”

Itachi chuckles.  “You’re a perfectionist.  It’s your greatest weakness.”

“Yeah, yeah I’ll put that on my resume.”  Sasuke collapses back into his chair.  He intertwines his fingers and presses them to his chin.  He frowns at the floor, at Itachi’s boots, before continuing.  “Let’s scrap the bridge.”

“No!” Deidara gasps from across the room.  He’d been lounging across Sasori’s lap, who has his headphones on and who has never seemed all too concerned with the state of the song, as long as he’s given enough time to write his own part.  “You are not writing that shit again!”

“It’s not good enough!” Sasuke replies, teeth gnashing.

“It’s fine!”

“Fine?”  

“Ah, shit.”  Deidara presses his face into Sasori’s thighs.

“You shouldn’t have said that,” Sasori murmurs, apparently listening enough to garner what drama is befalling around him.

“If you think it’s just fine,” Sasuke starts.  “I’ll scrap the whole thing!  We can start the song all over again.”

Deidara, having learnt his lesson, says nothing in reply.

Itachi sighs.  “Sasuke, he’s right.”

Sasuke blinks.  “Not you too!”

“It’s more than fine, but you’re overthinking what is already incredible work.  You’re trapped inside your own head.”

“Where else would you like me to be trapped?” Sasuke bites.

“I know what we said before,” Deidara’s voice is muffled against Sasori’s legs.  “But I’ve changed my mind.  Please go fuck your roommate.  If only if it will remove that stick from your ass!”

Sasuke glares at Deidara and bares his teeth.  He’s in a particular mood, and he’d be happy to turn their usual bickering into a physical brawl if Deidara were to push the right buttons.  It pisses him off even more that Deidara is kind of right, and there’s a part of his frustration that has nothing to do with his writing, and everything to do with Naruto, and being so terrified to know what Naruto truly thinks of him.

“It will still be there after.  The stick I mean.” Sasori says.  “He doesn’t strike me as a bottom.”

Itachi makes a noise in the back of his throat, like he’d really rather talk about anything else other than his little brother’s sex life.

“It’s time to go anyway,” Itachi announces.  “Or we’ll be late.”

Sasuke groans.  “Five more minutes!” he whines.

“No.”  Itachi stands, closing the notebook with a finalising snap.  “Besides, it will do you good to take a break.  Let’s get your mind off things for the night.”

“Speaking of, did we end up finding someone who would take Kisame’s ticket?” Sasori has pulled off his headphones to ask.

Sasuke was invited to join them to see a basketball game.  He’s not a huge fan of the sport (or any sport, really) but he agreed to come to be with Itachi, so accepted the invitation.  Kisame had to abandon them in favour of taking a job out of town, and no one else had bothered to take his place.

“Why don’t you invite Naruto?” Itachi suggests, turning to Sasuke.

Sasuke frowns.  How is he supposed to say no, without explaining that he’s been so hellbent on staying out of the apartment to get away from Naruto, and thus telling Itachi he’s been right this whole time?  That Sasuke is madly in love with Naruto, and is fighting a losing battle every time he has to look at him.

“He’s probably busy,” Sasuke mumbles.

“Have you asked him?”

Itachi is studying him, with eyes full of mischief, and a little bit of pride.  

Sasuke texts Naruto, just to shut Itachi up.

Naruto
> Sounds rad!  I’ll come!

Sasuke doesn’t know whether to be elated or utterly defeated that he’s about to spend an evening between his slowly burgeoning one-sided crush, and his brother, who loves to torture him over aforementioned slowly burgeoning one-sided crush.

Hidden Leaf is winning, but only by a margin.

Sasuke’s nerves are dancing on the edge of a knife.  Naruto keeps leaning over to whisper in his ear, and Sasuke has to lean in to hear him even then.  Naruto smells a little like beer, popcorn and the sweat that permanently permeates the gym.  The squeak of sneakers and call of the players, jeers and shouts of the crowd does nothing to distract him from just how close Naruto sits beside him.

At least the noise hides how hard his heart beats in his chest.

“And now!” A voice sounds over the speakers.  “Let’s take advantage of the quiet!”  The quiet being half-time.  “It’s time for the well-awaited kiss cam!”

Sasuke sees Sasori and Deidara sit up straight out of the corner of his eye.

“You seriously want to make out in front of this entire crowd?” Sasuke asks them, leaning over Itachi so they can hear him.  He stops to think about his own stupid question for a second.  “Nevermind.  Of course you would.”

“Don’t be a spoil sport!”  Deidara stabs his tongue out and gives Sasuke a look.  “Just because you’re not getting any.”  

Naruto snickers on Sasuke’s other side.  Deidara and Sasori start waving their paraphernalia, making kissy faces toward the camera.  It glides right over them, pausing at a couple in the section over.  The couple laugh, before turning toward each other and pecking each other’s lips.

“C’mon!” Deidara whines.  “Give us some juice!”

“You’re disgusting,” Itachi sighs, but he wears an amused smile.

Sasuke watches, slightly disinterested, as the camera glides over the crowd and pauses over several other couples.  Sasori and Deidara continue to call for its attention, more and more desperately.

Sasuke’s cheek warms as Naruto leans in close once again.

“They’re kind of cute together,” he says.  

Sasuke snorts.  He turns his head to reply, lips barely brushing Naruto’s ear.  “Don’t let them hear you say that; they’ll never shut up.”

Naruto leans closer to Sasuke, giggling.  Sasuke giggles with him.  

“Oh you’ve got to be fucking kidding me!”

Sasuke glances up at Deidara’s bitching, and the smile falls from his face.

His own eyes, blasted in 4k and some ridiculous amount of inches, stares back at him, right beside Naruto’s blinking, blue eyes.  Naruto laughs.  Sasuke can feel Deidara’s envy burning the side of his face, rivalling the burning blush on his cheeks.  The crowd only cries encouragingly.

Sasuke watches, forced into an out of body experience, as Naruto turns toward him.

“Alright, asshole, pucker up!”

Sasuke rears back, away from Naruto’s face, crushing Itachi on his other side in the process.  It’s on reflex, and entirely out of self-preservation, but Sasuke only realises the bomb he’s set off once it’s exploded between them.  He sees Naruto’s face, brows twitching like he’s fighting disappointment, before hurt sets in.  He struggles to hide the crushing defeat on his face.  The crowd is booing.  The announcer calls Sasuke a spoilsport.  

Sasuke’s heart drops.

“That’s-  Fuck, I’m sorry.”

Naruto puts distance between them, settling back into his chair.  “Nah, man, it’s cool.”  His laugh sounds forced.  He scratches the back of his hair while giving Sasuke a completely disingenuous smile.  “I get it.”

But he doesn’t.

And that’s what tears up Sasuke the most.

Itachi clears his throat behind him.  “You’re a mystery, you know that?”

Sasuke, confused and exasperated, makes a frustrated noise in reply.  He manages to separate himself from Itachi’s space.

Itachi whispers, “You don’t stop waxing poetic about him half the time we’re together, and now you treat him with distaste.”

Sasuke has a few good comebacks on his tongue, most of them involving some creative expletives, but all that comes out is a hissed, “Shut up!”

Itachi gives him a bemused look.

Sasuke turns back to Naruto.  “Hey, look, it’s just-”

Naruto stands, motioning with his empty beer can and cutting Sasuke short.  “I’m gonna get another.  Anyone want anything?”

He’s not looking at Sasuke.

“Yeah!  My wasted fucking potential!” Deidara shouts.

Naruto laughs.  It sounds so empty.  “I’ll do my best.”  He shuffles away.

He feels the rather insidious eyes of the three men to the opposite side of him.

“Don’t say anything,” Sasuke mumbles, petulantly.  “I’m going!”

He stands and hurries after Naruto.

It’s not hard to find him.  Half time has ended, everyone is back in their seats inside the gym, and the only people at the snack bar are the cashier and Naruto himself.  His shoulders are hunched.  Muscles tensed, drawn under the Hidden Leaf jersey he borrowed from Sasuke.  

Sasuke refuses to hesitate as he strides up to him.

“Naruto,” he tries.  “Look, it’s not like I don’t like you-” The total opposite, actually.  “I just-”

“You’re just not attracted to me.”  Naruto doesn’t look up as he pays for his food.  “I get it.”

Sasuke shakes his head.  Opens his mouth to argue.  Wants to defend himself.  He wants to tell Naruto there’s literally nothing about him that Sasuke isn’t attracted to.  That the kiss-cam took him by surprise, and while give him a few shots in a darkened club and he’ll sloppily make out with any pretty boy who approaches him, sharing an unplanned kiss with his roommate, best friend and possibly his first love, takes a different kind of courage.

A courage Sasuke is quickly discovering he doesn’t have.  There’s more risk involved.  There's something to lose.  He could lose Naruto.

None of that comes out of his open mouth.

Naruto sniffs.  Sasuke, distraught, can only watch as Naruto takes his food from the cashier (who is trying his damnedest to look neither of them in the face while they have this supremely awkward conversation) and turns to walk back to his seat.

Sasuke hurries after him and insists, “Naruto, you’re insanely attractive!”

It’s getting harder and harder to make Naruto feel better without being so obvious that, of all the things Sasuke would like to do to him, kissing is the bare minimum.

“You just don’t want to kiss me,” Naruto states.  His voice sounds strangled.  “That’s cool.”

Naruto starts walking more briskly.  

“C’mon, man,” Sasuke huffs, going for casual nonchalance.  “It’s nothing personal.”

“Of course not,” Naruto’s voice cracks.  “Don’t worry about it.  I’m barely attracted to you either.”

Sasuke has fucked this entirely.  Naruto is hurt.  Sasuke hurt him.  He has nothing left to defend, and despite trying his damndest not to lose it all, it’s all being lost anyway.

Naruto cries indignantly as Sasuke grabs his arm, the arm holding the beer, and piss coloured swill coats the floor and the tips of their shoes.  Naruto barely has time to get mad, before Sasuke is dragging him away into the first darkened alcove he finds.

He shoves Naruto against the brick and stills him there with a grip on his forearms.

“What?  You gonna beat me up now?” Naruto’s eyes are wet and his face is pinched.  “Get in line!  Behind every other transphobe!”

Sasuke pauses.  “You think this is because you're transgender?”

Naruto’s face softens, eyes flickering, and Sasuke knows he’s hit the nail on the head.  Naruto blinks, sniffs again, and the red rim of his eyes stands out even in the dark.

“I told you,” Naruto says.  He looks at his feet, before seeming to gather whatever courage he can to look Sasuke in the eye.  “I’m always wondering if it’s because I’m trans.”

Sasuke can’t stand it anymore.

He can’t stand Naruto thinking so little of himself.  He can’t stand resisting him, like he’s not the most fuckable thing on two legs to ever strut into Sasuke’s life.  He can’t stand this back and forth like Naruto is trying to hide something from Sasuke, who can’t even be mad, because he’s been trying to hide something from Naruto, too.

Naruto, who he likes so much.  So much so, he can’t stand that either.

“Oh for fucks sake.  Get over yourself!”  Sasuke’s grip tightens.  Naruto flinches.  “It has nothing to do with that!  I could fucking care less what’s in your pants and what label you carry with it.  I don’t give a shit what you want to cut off or stick on!  Did it ever occur to you I’ve been trying so damned hard not to fuck this up because you’re my roommate and my friend.  That if you decide you hate me tomorrow, I have to go back to facebook fucking marketplace, and I’ll be too damned depressed to do so, because my best friend fucking hates me!”

Sasuke breathes, heavily, a different kind of frustration leaving him in a rush.

Naruto’s eyes are like saucers.  All blue, so wide and so deep, Sasuke could drown in the colour.  And oh, how he wants to.

Naruto’s lips quiver, before he asks in a shaking voice.  “Fuck what up?”

Sasuke goes mute.

Shit.

Naruto’s eyes harden.  “Fuck what up, Sasuke?”

They’re both huffing and panting, unleashed with anger and something unbridled neither realised they were carrying.  Something monstrous they’ve both held for the other.

And it’s breaking free.

“Don’t act dumb!” he hisses, his lips brushing Naruto’s.  He hadn’t realised he’d pushed their faces so close together.  “You know what!”

Their first kiss could send Sasuke to his knees.  Sasuke thought Naruto was air.  Hard to see, harder to catch, never staying still and never in one place.  But he’s something Sasuke can’t name.  Something otherworldly.  Or Sasuke wouldn’t be whimpering against Naruto’s lips, begging for more before he’s completed his first taste.

They separate with a wet noise that goes straight to the base of Sasuke’s spine.  Despite his fingernails digging into Naruto’s biceps, he’s no longer the one being held hostage.

Naruto’s lips are wet and red.  Sasuke probably looks just as debauched.  Naruto swallows.

“I lied.”  Sasuke frowns, confused.  Naruto continues.  “I’m extremely fucking attracted to you.”

Sasuke lets out a rush of hot air against Naruto’s moist lips.  “Yeah.  Same.”

A smile hesitantly creeps onto Naruto’s features.  “You have a weird way of showing it.”

Sasuke rolls his eyes.  “So fucking sorry I didn’t want our first kiss to be front and centre on Konoha’s fucking jumbotron.”

Naruto’s grin turns mischievous.  It makes Sasuke shiver.

“‘First kiss?’”  His blue eyes are still wide, but filled with brilliance.  A brilliance he’s studying Sasuke with.  “That implies there’ll be a second.”

Sasuke shifts his hands, finally letting go of Naruto’s arms, trailing them down so they rest on bony hips peeking out from shockingly green basketball shorts.

“And a third.  And a fourth.  Maybe a fifth.”

“Maybe a fifth?” Naruto’s shit-eating grin is infectious.

“Well, I suppose there’ll have to be a fifth to get to the sixth.”

They’re both shaking.  Sasuke moves in close once again, his body singing from being so close to someone who seems to share such a large part of his universe.  Gag him; he’s starting to talk exactly like Naruto, but the stars behind his eyes as their lips move against each other is nothing short of blissful.

When they part, it’s far more gently than before.

“Hell of a second kiss,” Naruto says.

They barely manage to get through the rest of the game.  Itachi can definitely tell something is up.  He spends most of the second half eyeing Sasuke, which Sasuke makes a heavy point of totally ignoring.  Deidara and Sasori apparently spent no time sulking over their loss for a chance of public indecency, and make-out in their seats anyway.

Naruto and Sasuke do their level best to keep their hands to each other, which changes as soon as they slide the apartment door closed behind them.

Sasuke had the impression he would be the handsy one, based on their brief stint back at the stadium, but it’s Naruto whose fingers are digging into the middle of Sasuke’s back and fisting dark hair as Sasuke is dragged across the apartment.  They’re well past their sixth kiss now.

Sasuke pushes Naruto against the kitchen counter, their hips colliding.  Naruto gasps.  Sasuke’s lips glide to his neck, sucking bruises into his skin.  Naruto’s fingers are rough on Sasuke’s shoulder blades, shifting up the back of his shirt.  Sasuke sucks harder.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Naruto huffs, though his voice squeaks on the third wait.   

Sasuke hums.  “I’ve done my waiting.”  His throat sounds like he’s swallowed gravel, and he’s barely put it to work.

Naruto makes a delicious noise as Sasuke sinks his teeth into his collarbone.  Sasuke memorises the spot in an instant.

“No, seriously!”  Naruto’s hips are telling a different story, but Sasuke relents, taking half a step back.  Naruto’s chest rises and falls rapidly.  Sasuke’s own breath comes in a rush.  “You made a point.  Back there.”  Sasuke can’t think beyond five seconds ago when he had his hand on Naruto’s ass.  “I mean, we are roommates.”

Sasuke rolls his eyes.  “And the sky is blue in the morning.  Way to state the obvious.”

He darts forward again, but Naruto is ready for him this time.  And not in the good way.  He keeps Sasuke at arm’s length.

“Yeah, but, we shouldn’t just…” Naruto makes a gesture between their hips.  “Go for it.”  Sasuke swallows back a pathetic whimper.  “I mean, I don’t want to have to move out anymore than you want to find a new roommate.  And, I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but I really like you, Sasuke.”

Sasuke’s heart does that funny thing again.  Physical attraction is one thing; it’s not so hard to find someone he would want to fuck into the floor.  But emotional attraction can feel like chasing the moon; always visible, and always out of reach.  Sasuke could name so much more about Naruto that he adores than just his looks.

It scares him as much as it excites him.

“I just think,” Naruto continues, “we should take it slow.”

Sasuke is ready for it this time, and on a much more mature note, agrees.

“Yeah,” he says.  He takes a step back further.  Their hands fall to their respective sides, painstakingly far from each other.  “Yeah, you’re right.  I meant what I said; I don’t want to fuck this up.”

Naruto stands straight, fixing his mussed hair, tousled shirt and wiping the spit off his face, which might be more Sasuke’s than his own.

“Neither do I.”

Sasuke nods.  “Okay.  We take this slow.  We figure this out.”

“Yeah.  Slow.”  Naruto says with resolve.  His eyes flicker to Sasuke.  Up and down.  So openly checking Sasuke out.  Sasuke doesn’t know whether to hide or start stripping with pride.  “What do they say?  Good things to those who wait?”

Sasuke licks his lips.  “Yeah.  Something like that.”

“I should tell you,” Naruto gasps.  “I really like your version of slow.”

Sasuke laughs, hand sinking further down the waist of Naruto’s underwear.

Slow barely lasted the time it took for both Naruto and Sasuke to get changed and retire to their separate corners of sleep.  Slow became about Sasuke trying in vain not to jerk off to the very real and recent image of a panting and debauched Naruto whining and grinding against him.  He felt like he fought as hard as he could.  He bit his pillow and didn’t touch his dick.  

Of course it’s when he has Naruto that he starts to practise some self-control.

But sound carries across their apartment, and it was only moments later did Sasuke hear a pathetic and too tempting whimper.  Bitten back and cut short like Naruto hadn’t meant it to escape his lips.  It was like a bullet in Sasuke’s spine.  Startled into action, he leapt from his couch and stormed across the apartment and up the ladder to Naruto’s loft, who was already shoving his sheets back and spreading his legs, arms out to greet him.

Yes.  Slow definitely wasn’t going to last.  It’s not for them.

“Oh, fuck,” Naruto hisses, as Sasuke’s fingers find his cunt and runs his lube-covered fingers over it.  He plays with what he finds, trailing his fingers there, gathering slick and then pressing firmly against Naruto’s dick.  Naruto cusses again.  Sasuke starts rubbing.

Naruto twitches.  Sasuke presses his own hard-on against Naruto’s hip.  He hears Naruto suck in a breath.

It’s one thing to catch once thought to be unwanted glimpses at each other’s naked bodies across a wide apartment and pretend not to see.  It’s another to be able to shimmy Naruto’s boxers down his hips and see him for the first time, unobscured.  Even in the silver of the moon coming in through Naruto’s loft window, his trembling body is the most gorgeous thing Sasuke has ever seen.

He can see the hidden pain in Naruto’s eyes.  How he’s almost waiting for the punchline.  Sasuke kisses his stomach.  His navel.  Up his body, over a well-maintained chest.  He runs a tongue over Naruto’s chest scars, over his nipple, to his neck.  All the while, he slowly rubs circles over Naruto’s cock.

Naruto’s body continues to shake beneath him.  “Didn’t take you for someone to body worship.”  His voice shakes just as badly.

Sasuke licks a cool strip up his neck.  “We agreed, right?  To take it slow.”

Naruto shudders.  He yanks at Sasuke’s own underwear, peeking beneath the waistband.  He gives a low whistle.

“It’s not that impressive,” Sasuke says, feigning disinterest in Naruto’s interest in his body.  He’s thankful for the dark hiding his flaming cheeks.  

Naruto chuckles.  “You sure about that?”  He bites his bottom lip, and with hooded eyes, jerks his chin to Sasuke’s crotch.  “‘Cause that looks like it’s gonna sting going in.”  He cups the back of Sasuke’s neck, pulling him down so Naruto can whisper in his ear.  “And I like it when it stings.”

Sasuke could cum there and then.  He holds back.  Barely.

Sasuke finishes shoving his own shorts down his hips.  He’s hard as hell.  He crawls between Naruto’s knees, and bows to kiss him again.  Naruto sighs.  Sasuke catches it on his tongue, pushing it back between Naruto’s lips.

“Sasuke, I want you to know,” Naruto begins to say.  

Sasuke kisses him again.  And again.  And again.  

It’s getting so hard not to kiss him now that he’s allowed too.  Now that he doesn’t have to stare after Naruto as he struts across the apartment, chest bare and the beads on his bandana swinging beside his eyes.  Now that he doesn’t have to wonder what they’d be like.  Together.  Like this.

When his cock glides between Naruto’s cunt lips, star charts flash behind Sasuke’s eyes.  Like the ones Naruto studies.  Naruto’s cunt is wet with lube.  His pubes are scratchy but in a good way.  His dick is big enough Sasuke can feel it grazing his own cock.  He grinds through the mess faster.  Naruto’s folds dip around the shape of him.

Naruto groans, deep, from his flushed chest.

“Stop interrupting me!” Naruto gasps.  Sasuke changes to sucking that spot on his neck from before.  Naruto’s fingers grip Sasuke’s hair.  “I want you to know, I want this.”

Sasuke stills, except for the ragged breaths rattling his back.

“I care about you so much,” Naruto whimpers.  “I want this.  I want you so badly.”

Sasuke pushes fine, blonde hair out of the way and sucks on Naruto’s tongue in answer.

“I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want you right now.”  Sasuke’s voice is already broken, but he means every word.

There’s a few moments where they just continue to share each other’s sighs. Sasuke grinds softly.  His nails sink into Naruto’s fleshy thighs, pulling his hips in tight.  His hips move in circles, which causes Naruto to whimper.  When he tells Sasuke to stick his fingers in, Sasuke is rewarded with something warm, wet and sticky.

“Already so much?”  Sasuke groans, and drives his fingers further in, searching for more.

Naruto huffs a laugh, looking proud of himself.

Sasuke adds a third.  Naruto begins to fall apart on shaking gasps and debauched groans.  Sasuke adds his thumb to the mix, dragging it over Naruto’s dick with every flex of his arm.  The squelching noises echo off the apartment walls.  Naruto slams a hand to his headboard, bearing his hips down, looking for more.

He cries oh, God and right there and Jesus fuck, Sasuke!   Which easily becomes Sasuke’s favourite.  Sasuke uses his free hand to roll a nipple between his fingers.  They become pert and hard.  Sasuke presses his tongue to the nub.  

Sasuke won’t question Naruto’s history with sex (least of all now) but as his own cock throbs between his legs at the mere noises Naruto is making and the feel of him tensing around his fingers, he has to wonder how Naruto could ever imagine himself as undesirable.  But he’s terrible at sentimentality.

“Fuck you and your fucking wrecked cunt,” Sasuke says instead.  Naruto makes an unintelligible noise.  Sasuke moves his arm faster.  Naruto’s cries become erratic.  His hips twitch and roll, seeking pleasure while Sasuke forces it onto him.  

Sasuke watches Naruto.  Sprawled out, thighs quaking, chest heaving, and tries to sate his unquenchable thirst by drinking in the sight of him.

He places wet, sloppy, kisses over Naruto’s chest again.  Kisses left cold in his wake.  Down his stomach, tonguing his navel, and has to wrap an arm around Naruto’s thigh to bring them open, so his head doesn’t get crushed, as he starts making out with his cunt.

“Sasuke!” Naruto cries.  His voice sounds wet.  His gasps and shouts are wracked through his chest.

Naruto’s cock is large enough to sit nicely against the flat of Sasuke’s tongue, which he rolls over it, huffing through his nose, getting high on the scent of Naruto heady with sex beneath him.  Because of him.

He utters a sorry as he realises how vicious he might have been with his hand, pounding his fingers into Naruto greedily.  Naruto just whines.  “No!  Don’t stop.  Keep going… please.”

Sasuke happily obeys.  He pounds faster instead.  Harder.  Wondering if pushing Naruto to his limits their first time is a wise idea.

Then Naruto shudders and cums against Sasuke’s tongue and Sasuke decides it was a fucking great idea.

Naruto is panting, fast and reprieved, eyes glassy with his multiple orgasms.

“Oh my fucking god, can you do that again?”

Sasuke grins, proud of himself and not afraid to let it show.  He wipes his chin, covered in lube and spit and Naruto’s cum, on the back of his hand.  

“Happy to,” he answers.

He hoists Naruto’s thighs back over his shoulders and begins searching his folds for the taste he’s already addicted to.

“You’re not coming to band practice?” Sakura asks, incredulously.  “Are you dying?”

Sasuke does a weak cough into the phone.  “No, just a little sick.  Don’t want to give it to you, so I better stay in.”

“You broke your wrist last year and I had to fight the drumsticks out of your hand!”

Sasuke shrugs, even though Sakura can’t see it.  “Character development?”

After a bit more back and forth, Sakura abandons the fight, though not entirely absolved of suspicion.  Sasuke throws his phone to the end of the bed and rolls over to align his body along Naruto’s.

Naruto giggles.  “‘Just a little sick’, huh?”

Sasuke shushes him with a filthy kiss that’s mostly tongue and no technique.  Naruto groans into it.

“That sounds like you're a little ungrateful,” Sasuke mutters when he pulls away.  He finds it hard to end whatever it is they’ve already started.

Naruto shakes his head as best he can where he’s smushed into his pillows, lying across Sasuke’s arm.

“For the…what?  Six orgasms you gave me last night?” He kisses Sasuke with his own tongue, sucking air in through his nose.  “How ‘bout I show you just how grateful I am?”

Sasuke hums.  There’s a happiness thrumming through him.  It makes him warm, though not as warm as Naruto’s body makes him.  Their naked bodies so casually laying beside each other, skin touching skin in a way that somehow feels more intimate than anything they did the night before.

Sasuke presses his answer to Naruto’s lips, while Naruto’s hand trails down Sasuke’s stomach to palm at his cock.  “You just want to feel that sting again.”

They kiss again.

“So what if I do?  Don’t hear you complaining.”

And again.

“No complaints.  Just an observation.”

And again.

“Well, do you want to observe your dick getting hard and getting into me again, maybe?”

Sasuke snorts.  “You’re so fucking crass!”

They laugh against each other.  Sasuke grapples between the mattress and the headboard for the lube.  Naruto rolls underneath him, and Sasuke settles between his spread legs.  He eyes the adoring smile on Naruto’s face, memorises it, before doing as he’s told.