Chapter Text
The song comes to an end. All their breathing slowly becomes out of sync as they rest and let the final notes die out. Sasuk’s chest rises and falls rapidly, and he immediately grabs his water bottle off the garage floor. It’s been a gruelling practice, and no one can seem to understand why.
Sakura shoves her guitar in its stand almost forcefully.
“What’s missing?” she cries. “Our set list is perfect! So why does it feel like we’re short somewhere?”
Sasuke feels her frustration; they all do. His knee bounces restlessly.
“Should we take out a few of our older covers?” Ino suggests, shoulders also tense. “Bring Me To Life has kind of been done to death.”
“No way, it’s good for hyping up the crowd in the middle of the set.”
“We’re still not hitting Lovers quite right,” Hinata says. “Maybe it could be replaced with something we play stronger.”
“That’s why we need it,” Sakura counters. “It’s the only new one we have. If we don’t play it, it’s the exact same show as last time, just in a different order!”
She rubs her forehead. They have another show in a few weeks, for one of the biggest clubs they’re yet to play. It’s important to all of them that they get it right, and show what they can do for a stronger crowd. They’re all on edge, searching for perfection, but feeling they can never reach it.
“Well, we could play something new,” Sasuke begins. “Or, we could play something entirely new.”
Ino tenses. Hinata’s lips go thin. Sakura doesn’t turn to face him.
“Not this again,” she sighs. “We’re a cover band, Sasuke! We don’t play originals!”
Sasuke, feeling like he’s running lines for a scene he’s already filmed, grinds his teeth.
“You said so yourself; something is missing. We want to show what we can do as a band; this is how!”
“Not yet!” Sakura stomps her foot as she whirls around. “I told you; you can play your songs when we play for bigger venues. Original songs will only hurt us at this point.”
“Or, it’s making us seem boring, and we’re not standing out enough to even interest those bigger venues.”
“I told you when you joined!” Sakura snaps, the tension of their practice mixing with the argument and making them both angry and mean. “We do things a certain way here.”
“Guys,” Hinata whimpers. “Please don’t fight.”
“Or at least have a different one,” Ino mutters.
Sasuke stands.
“What happened to ‘we’re a democracy’?” he demands.
Sakura pauses. “Fine.” Then she turns to the other two. “Who here wants to risk our current reputation by playing songs we’re entirely unfamiliar with?”
“No band ever got anywhere without risking something!”
But it falls on deaf ears, as Ino and Hinata don’t move.
“Who wants to stick to what we’re good at, find a groove, and slowly move to playing original work?”
Sakura raises her hand. Slowly, so do Ino and Hinata.
“There!” Sakura hisses. “Democracy.”
Sasuke doesn’t smoke unless it’s social, or unless he’s really stressed, backed into a corner, and needs to leave.
“I need a smoke,” he declares, storming toward the door and trudging his way outside. It’s not cold enough anymore to need his jacket. Which is good, because he forgot it and he’s not going back in yet to get it.
He sits on the curb, head in his hands, and tries not to scream. They’re surrounded by suburban houses. Someone will hear him and, unlike the city, think it’s not normal and call the police.
So he sits, grips his bangs, and with nowhere to put it, lets his anger roil in his body.
He’s still restless from his fight with Sakura a few days later.
The cold months are coming to an end and summer is racing in. It’s one of the first warmer days of the year. Sasuke has taken to wearing shorts and a wifebeater, while Naruto is walking around in only his boxer shorts.
Honestly, nothing out of the ordinary for him. What is out of the ordinary, is the popsicle he has between his lips.
The slurping noises didn’t bother Sasuke at first. He just kept flipping through the channels on the TV, contemplating getting up to get his own popsicle from the freezer. Then Naruto sat beside him, and out of the corner of Sasuke’s eye, all he’s been able to see is that iced concoction slipping between Naruto’s lips. He’d run his tongue flat up its length. Nibble at the end. Make a noise through his nose as he deepthroated the whole thing.
Sasuke grabs a cushion from the floor and pulls it onto his lap, disguising his growing problem for something to rest the remote on.
He thought Naruto might finish before it became too obvious, but Naruto apparently likes to draw it out. He stops momentarily, entranced by whatever show is on screen (Sasuke has forgotten he’s meant to be watching something at all), before feeling the trickle of melting ice against his fingers, which makes the slurping sounds so much more obscene as he returns to his work of devouring the icy treat.
Sasuke is fully hard under the couch cushion now.
He still hasn’t had sex, which is driving him crazy. One of his drums burst and he’s been picking up extra shifts at work to cover the cost of repair, because not playing is driving him crazier. Now, he’s fighting with Sakura, making both work and home life increasingly uncomfortable. He can’t work with Sakura as they’re both becoming increasingly stubborn over who should give first, and he can’t write at home without being reminded of their fight and feeling like it's all pointless to begin with.
And now, he’s going crazy with Naruto putting on a show beside him.
Sasuke snaps. “Don’t you have work?”
Naruto has finally finished his dessert, licking the rest of the sugar from his hand with a cold, pinkened tongue. But the damage is done and Sasuke’s mind is hazy with a mix of the heat, frustration and lust.
Naruto looks momentarily surprised, eyes filled with hurt as he stares at Sasuke. But Sasuke won’t back down, and apparently, neither will Naruto.
“Okay, asshole, I’m going!” Naruto huffs as he gets up and heads to his loft to get changed.
Sasuke blows his bangs out of his eyes. “I just…don’t want you to be late.”
It’s a terrible lie, and it only seems to irritate Naruto more.
“Late for what?” Naruto replies. Naruto works for a delivery app, as a bike messenger through the city. He can choose his own hours, which means he’s either out for fifteen hours at a time or not working for three days straight. It’s never consistent. Which was never a problem, until now. “I was waiting for it to get cooler!”
Sasuke grinds his teeth together.
“But if you want me gone, you can just ask!” Naruto is yanking on his beat up converses and grabbing his bike helmet from the door. He doesn’t say bye, he doesn’t wave to Sasuke as he leaves, he doesn’t offer to pick up groceries on his way home. He just slides the door open and leaves.
Sasuke feels slightly bad. Only for a moment, before he’s shoving his shorts down his thighs.
He hisses as his hard dick hits open air. His thighs are already slightly sweaty, and he’s surprised how much he’s already panting. He’s been so busy, it’s been so long since he’s been able to do even this. Sasuke shifts, gets comfortable, closes his eyes and wraps a hand around it. A grunt leaves his lips at first contact.
At first, he lets his mind drift to Naruto. To the sounds he made. To the image of his tongue darting out, licking the tip, digging his tongue in and-
“Shit,” Sasuke hisses again. He stops. He makes himself stop. He can’t jerk off to his roommate. That’s a hill Sasuke would rather not climb. He shakes the image out of his brain, opting to substitute it for Makoto instead.
They never did anything beyond a pretty heated make out session, but Sasuke can still recall his sly smile, his dark eyes, and most importantly, how his tongue felt.
Sasuke puts his imagination to good use, imagining it sliding up the side of his dick like it slid up the side of his mouth. His sharp teeth nipping at the skin like he nipped at Sasuke’s lips. He tries to imagine what Makoto would have sounded like if Sasuke hadn’t cut their rendezvous short.
It works. A little. It definitely gets Sasuke humming, gets his hand pumping faster and his breath coming shorter.
But it’s shallow. Hollow. Something is missing.
As much as he hates to admit it, Sasuke values the connection in a physical relationship almost as much as the physical benefits themselves, but it’s hard to build that emotional connection when he’s so scared of it. It doesn’t help that he looks like an emo scene kid from twenty-oh-nine, and acts like one too.
Everyone assumes he just wants sex, and the majority of the time, he’s kind of okay with that assumption.
He whimpers. His dick is rock hard and standing proud, but nothing seems to help. He’s on the precipice, being held back with chains. He wants to dive off, is ready to cum, but Makoto isn’t doing it for him.
Sasuke stops. Sighs. Considers grabbing his phone to find some porn and be done with it, but honestly, he knows that won’t help either. He stills for a while, wondering if something else will come to him.
And it does.
In a haze of soft, blonde hair, bright, blue eyes and a wicked grin that would taste as sweet as frozen sugar.
No!
No. No. No no no nononono!
Sasuke bites his lip and glares at the ceiling.
But his mind is hooked. Reason is losing glaringly to images that come far too clearly to his mind for him to be comfortable with. Motions of Naruto leaning between his legs, gently pushing his thighs apart, making direct eye contact with Sasuke before replacing Sasuke’s own hand, tongue at the ready.
Naruto would start slow, soft. Small movements to see which drags the greatest reactions from Sasuke. What will make him twitch. Groan. Whimper. What will make him thrust up into Naruto’s touch. What will make Sasuke fall apart.
Then he’d find a rhythm, much like Sasuke has done now, and he’d stick to it.
“Fuck,” Sasuke mutters. “Shit. Shit!”
It’s good. It’s really good. Heat rises from his gut, spreading down. Spreading up. He’s hot under his shirt now and pre-cum beads from the tip of his dick. It twitches while imagining Naruto lapping it up, still maintaining eye contact.
Sasuke grunts, and imagines what it would be like to shove his hand in those blonde, fluffy strands. How they’d feel between his fingers, the warmth of Naruto as he pushes him down.
Sasuke moans, rather loudly, his fist moving faster, spreading pre-cum. His toes begin to curl, digging into the carpet, the Naruto in his mind sucking in earnest now. He’s making those sounds from before. Slurping every drop Sasuke gives, breathing in through his nose, moaning at the taste.
He cusses again as he imagines setting a pace and wonders what it would be like to get a little rough. To push Naruto to his limits. Have him choke a little on his cock.
It’s what sets him off. What finishes him. Sasuke groans, tensing in his chair, back drawn as he cums across his hand and his lap and the floor. In his head, though, Naruto takes it all. He settles between Sasuke’s legs, moaning at the feeling of all that cum down his throat, swallowing every drop. Never breaking eye contact with Sasuke the whole time.
Sasuke lets out a strangled noise, chest rising and falling, letting his orgasm travel pleasantly through his chest, his hips, his dick and finally recede. It’s post-orgasm bliss follows and Sasuke collapses into his chair, fully satiated, and feeling a little of the edge from before chipped away.
He feels relieved. He opens his eyes to assess the mess. It could be worse. Most of it is dripping down his thighs. There’s a spot on the floor he’ll have to clean, but nothing dramatic.
He lets out a satisfied sigh, basking in it just a little longer.
It’s as he’s lying there, orgasm still making his toes scrunch and his fingers tingle, does another feeling begin to rise.
The guilt.
He just jerked off to his roommate. He just shoved his roommate out of their apartment with his attitude and then jerked off to him. All because of a fucking popsicle.
It kind of ruins the mood.
Sasuke is still awake when Naruto gets home, but he pretends not to be. He’s buried under his blankets, facing away from the door, his corner of the apartment shrouded in darkness. He hears Naruto set his stuff down, rustle in the kitchen for a minute before he’s crawling under his own sheets and the apartment is plunged entirely into darkness.
In the morning, Naruto is already gone, but he’s left a box of muffins in the kitchen with a note taped to the box.
Lemon balm muffins! It’s a natural mood booster. Sorry I don’t have a remedy for that stick up your ass ;)
The winky face tells Sasuke Naruto means no ill will; that he genuinely just wants to help, and doesn’t hold a grudge to Sasuke kicking him out the day before.
The guilt comes back twice as strong.
To celebrate the shift in season, they all decide to go out to a carnival down by the dock. They’re surrounded by the screams of children as they’re spun around in weird machines that can’t be safe while vendors with overpriced snacks motion to them from under the twinkling lights. The beer is expensive and the prizes are piss, but the mood is good and the company is better.
Sasuke has been trying his best to be nicer to Naruto since last week. Since the combination of him snapping and subsequently his self-coital fest still sits thick at the bottom of his stomach. But he’s been trying his best to be nice while also unable to look Naruto in the eyes, so it’s made for some awkward interactions.
He and Sakura still haven’t spoken of their fight.
Naruto walks ahead of him, Sakura and Ino hanging off each of his arms. They’re making mental lists of everything they want to do while they’re here. Sasuke trails behind them, Hinata matching his stride.
“Sasuke,” she says quietly. He grunts to show she has his attention. “How is living with Naruto?”
He grunts again. “S’fine.”
Honestly, it’s kind of been better than fine. It’s been really great.
Naruto has never missed a payment, and always helps with his share of the bills. He’s always offering his cooking, and although he cooks vegan, it’s almost always good. He’s a little messy, but he usually keeps his mess to his own corner and around his loft. He’s loud by voice, but Sasuke is loud by music, so he can’t really hold it against him.
The walking around half naked all the time doesn’t bug him as much as he thought it would, and Sasuke figures they’ll have that in common once summer hits and Naruto discovers how unbearable the apartment can become in a heatwave.
“That’s good,” Hinata says. “He’s really nice. I’m glad we could all become friends.”
Sasuke just grunts again.
It’s been kind of scary, a good kind of scary, watching Naruto slip so easily into their group. He’s basically their official groupie now. He helps with set up and take down, brings them water during the show and drinks as soon as they’re done. He sits with Sasuke on the floor of his corner, surrounded by vinyls and sheet music, when Sasuke is stuck with a song and can’t find a good beat.
Naruto knows as much about music as Sasuke does. He wasn’t kidding when he said his godfather was such an influence on his taste.
“Do you think…” Hinata starts. Sasuke glances at her, and sees the bridge of her nose dusted with a blush.
He’s not. Sasuke knows this. Naruto doesn’t go home with strangers. Whether because he’s not interested or just too deeply interested in practising stranger danger, it’s unclear.
“You could just ask him,” Sasuke says.
Hinata’s blush grows hotter across her cheeks.
“Oh, well, I don’t want to pry.” They continue to follow the other three, walking silently beside each other. Then he hears Hinata quietly say, “I don’t even know if he likes girls.”
And Sasuke doesn’t know the answer to that either. He hasn’t really found a way to ask, and up until now, hasn’t really found himself interested. Why would he care who Naruto dates? Or doesn’t date. Or would want to date.
“You could ask him,” Sasuke says again. Hinata shakes her head.
“I don’t want to be rude.”
“How is that rude?”
Hinata stammers something Sasuke doesn’t understand.
“Hey, Naruto!” Sasuke calls. Hinata gasps, grabbing his arm, begging him to stop. Too late. The others have stopped and they’ve caught up in only a few strides. “What’s your deal?”
Naruto frowns, cocking an eyebrow. “Huh?”
“Sasuke!” Hinata tries again, still tugging on his sleeve.
“Like, who do you go for?”
Naruto frowns some more. “Are you trying to ask my preference?”
Sasuke shrugs. “Sure.”
“Uh, okay,” Naruto blinks and smiles nervously. “I’m T-4-T.”
T-4-T. Trans for trans. Sasuke takes a moment to take that in, and when he does, the guilt that’s been gnawing at him for some time, any guilt he feels toward Naruto, shifts. It shifts into something emptier. It’s no longer solid and heavy in his gut, but suffocating in his chest.
Is he… disappointed?
“Cool.”
Naruto makes an incomprehensible face. “Why?”
Hinata is blabbering so much, Sasuke is afraid her tongue is going to fall out.
“I just don’t think we’ve ever asked,” Sasuke explains.
Naruto’s expression softens. “I don’t think I’ve ever asked you either.”
This easily spawns a heated conversation between all of them about their coming out stories while they drink spiked sodas and walk between the stalls. Naruto already knows how Sakura came to terms with her love of Ino. Apparently, Ino came out of the womb as she is. Hinata says she thought about it a little in college, but ultimately decided she likes men and likes it that way. Then it’s Sasuke’s turn.
“A person is a person,” Sasuke says. “I don’t really care about the details as long as they’re not a total asshole.”
“And sometimes even that doesn’t deter you,” Sakura says, giving Sasuke a knowing look.
“Don’t you dare,” he warns.
“Why?” Naruto is suddenly avidly interested.
“It’s nothing,” Sasuke mutters. “So I have a toxic ex. Who doesn’t?”
“What’s the story?” Naruto is walking backwards, right in front of Sasuke, his usual string of beads swinging from his headband.
“Once upon a time,” Sakura starts dramatically. “There was this total fucking creep called Orochimaru-”
“Shut it!” Sasuke hisses. “He doesn’t need to know!”
Sakura cackles as they make their way between the vendors. It’s the longest exchange they’ve had since their last practice, and even if it is at his expense, Sasuke can’t help but smile a little.
They decide they’re hungry and go to split up. The girls will line up for takoyaki and Naruto and Sasuke are tasked with finding the lemonade stall.
“I’ll ask them to add ginger to yours, Hinata,” Naruto tells them as the boys begin to walk away. “For that stomach ache you mentioned last night.”
Hinata’s face flushes the colour of the setting sun. Sasuke frowns, irritated, maybe even more irritated because he doesn’t know why.
They retrieve their drinks, stock up on paper straws and are taking a different route back when Naruto spots it.
“Tarot readings!” He cries, grabbing Sasuke’s arm so hard and fast, Sasuke almost drops the girls’ drinks on his boots. He grumbles in annoyance, which Naruto either doesn’t hear, chooses to ignore, or both, and drags him to the booth.
A little old lady greets them. She’s greying under the scarf tied around her head, bells, hanging in strings from her sleeves, chime as she sits and shuffles a stack of large cards in her hands. Sasuke sees flashes of the different designs across their surfaces. Some heralding bright colours of hope and others painted with dark, sepia tones to signal something far more dismal.
“Well, what fates have gifted me with two, strapping young youths?” she says. Her hands stop moving, rings glittering as she holds the cards tight between her knobbly fingers.
“Aw, shucks, Granny!” Naruto rubs his hair, face tinted pink, genuinely bashful. “How much for a reading?” He enquires excitedly.
She tells him, and Sasuke cuffs Naruto across the back of his ear for so readily paying such an exorbitant price.
“Hey, tarot is a delicate art! You can’t just pick up that shit anywhere! It costs to know what the fates have in store for you.”
Sasuke rolls his eyes, but takes the other rickety, folding chair beside Naruto, and watches as the lady lays the stack of cards in the middle of the table. She gestures for Naruto to hold out his hands, which he does so readily. Sasuke watches, fighting back another headache.
He sips his lemonade to kill time.
Eventually, Naruto is handed the cards and told to shuffle the deck. The lady takes them back carefully, smoothly fans them in a row across the table (a neat card trick, Sasuke notes) and asks Naruto to pick three that speak strongest to him.
Sasuke, chin in hand, looks on boredly as the old lady reads Naruto’s cards. Flailing her arms, doctoring her voice so it goes quiet for suspense and cracks to shock Naruto in his seat. It’s entertaining, at least, to see the myriad of expressions cross Naruto’s face.
“You’re so right, granny, I do need to work on my self-belief!” Naruto nods sagely, folding his arms across his chest, like this lady just told him something not totally tripe and vague and then gave him advice that could apply to literally anyone who comes across her booth.
Sasuke rolls his eyes again, but is eager to leave already. He breathes a sigh of relief when Naruto begins to stand, leaning over to shake the old lady’s hand, thanking her profusely.
“Hang on,” she says, stopping them abruptly. She’s back to shuffling her cards. She meets Sasuke’s eyes, grey irises twinkling beneath her bushy eyebrows.
“What about you?” she asks.
“Me?” Sasuke asks. “I’m good, thanks.”
He really doesn’t want to fork out twenty-five dollars for a five minute introspection and then be told to ‘love himself’ a little better.
She nods to the chair, the one directly in front of her.
“I don’t have any cash,” he lies.
She smiles, mischievously. “This ones on me.”
Naruto bawks. “Lucky bastard.”
Sasuke shrugs. “We really have to get back to our group.” All the ice in their lemonade is about to melt and Sasuke really doesn’t need Ino’s bitching about how watery her drink is. Nor is he paying for a new one.
She taps the table with one, long, shiny nail.
“Sit,” she demands.
Sasuke frowns, but sees he’s not walking away from this without either offending her or offending Naruto.
He rolls his eyes again, and slumps into the seat. Naruto readily leans over his shoulder, like Sasuke is going to get some rare pull in a gacha game. He bites the inside of his cheek as he’s passed the cards, shuffles them for no longer than a few seconds, and hands them back. When he’s told to pick three cards that feel strongest to his heart, he taps the three in a row directly in front of him.
“C’mon, Sasuke,” Naruto sneers above him. “Take this seriously!”
“Well, if he’s chosen these cards,” Granny explains, “Then there will be a reason.”
Sasuke doesn’t open his mouth, or he might mention the reason is he wants to get the fuck out of here.
The lady draws the first card.
“Ah, the chariot,” she announces, like Sasuke can’t read the name stamped on the card. “You’re about to find great success amongst your ambitions. You work hard, perhaps the fates have decided you’ve paid your dues.”
Naruto is leaning bodily against the back of Sasuke’s chair now. Sasuke is afraid the rickety thing is going to snap under his weight. Granny draws the second card.
“The lovers. Congratulations.” She reads. “Self explanatory to a man like you, I’m sure.”
“True love and all your dreams come true?” Naruto all but moans. “That’s gotta be the luckiest reading I’ve ever seen.”
“Lucky is one word for it.” Sasuke raises one, black eyebrow at the lady across from him. “I’d also say, mighty convenient.”
Granny meets his eyes yet again, and they fill with an unrecognisable amount of glee. Like Sasuke has risen to a challenge he hadn’t known she’d set.
She draws the third card. It’s also the only card she draws in reverse.
“But you are reckless in both,” she says, as Sasuke reads the fool upside down. Naruto gasps, not at all softly. “You’re blinded by both your ambition and need to feel seen by someone important to you. You’re stubbornly walking one path; has it occurred to you to take a different one? In your quest to have both, you may return with neither.”
Sasuke meets the old granny’s eyes, and sees the spark of satisfaction in them, believing she’s now exacted her revenge on the cynic who dared visit her stall.
Sasuke sighs.
“Thanks, Granny, it’s been real.” He stands up, grabs their drinks from the table, and strolls off. Naruto shouts after him, racing to catch up.
“That was intense!” Naruto exclaims when he reaches Sasuke’s side. Sasuke grits his teeth. He has to remind himself he might not believe in any of this stuff, but Naruto does, and he’s hurting no one by doing so. “You got kind of a creepy reading, Sasuke! You better be careful.”
“Yes, love, sex, concerts and fame would really throw my already too perfect life for a loop,” Sasuke scoffs. “Wouldn’t that be terrible.”
“But didn’t you hear Granny? You might not get both!”
Sasuke sighs, and is beyond grateful to spot Sakura, Ino and Hinata through the crowd, hoping now that this inane conversation will come to an end.
“Which one do you think you’ll get first?” Naruto asks as they make their way toward the girls. “Love or your dream?”
“It doesn’t matter!” Sasuke snaps. “None of it’s real! She was just trying to spook me because I don’t believe she’s legit.”
He feels like an asshole even as the words leave his mouth. Naruto doesn’t seem to be deterred.
“It doesn’t matter whether you believe in it or not! The fates spoke to you tonight-”
“Oh, for fucks sake.”
“-and you should listen!”
They reach the girls.
“What’s with the lover’s quarrel?” Sakura asks, taking their drinks from Sasuke’s hands. Naruto’s eyelashes flutter at the word ‘lover’.
“It’s nothing,” Sasuke mutters.
“It’s everything!” Naruto interjects. “And Sasuke is being a total dick deflator about it!”
Sasuke blinks. “Did you just call me a dick deflator?”
“Yeah,” Naruto agrees readily. “Because you’re being a dick deflator!”
Sasuke feels his cheeks heat up. He glances to the lamps hanging above them, blaming them for the incessant heat focused in such a small area.
Naruto quickly recounts the tale of the tarot reader to the trio.
“Holy hell, Sasuke, why are you so stubborn?” Sakura insists, a familiar gleam in her eyes, some of the air remaining of their previous fight leaking into this one.
“It doesn’t matter!” Sasuke insists, aware he’s digging his heels in now, and probably proving their point. “I’m not going to fall in love and all my dreams aren’t coming true!”
“Not with that attitude,” Ino says with a playful grin, trying to defuse the tension. She takes a sip of her drink, makes a face and tips it toward him. “Why is my lemonade so weak?”
Sasuke ignores them both. Naruto’s expression has become funny, wary. Unreadable.
“The fireworks are starting soon,” Sakura announces, thankfully, changing the subject. “Let’s go find a good spot!”
Naruto doesn’t look at Sasuke as he hurries ahead of them. Sasuke feels that all too familiar guilt rise again. Maybe he shouldn’t have disregarded Naruto’s beliefs so readily, but he also thinks he shouldn’t be forced to believe a reading he didn’t want that won’t ever happen. He sighs, beginning to follow the group, when his phone vibrates in his pocket.
Sasuke checks the caller ID, his brother’s name blinking across the screen, and feels a small wave of relief come when it’s the first good thing to happen all night.