Chapter Text
Ed’s in a depressy mood and sometimes he likes to just sit with it. He has this playlist called “songs to be sad to” that he will listen to when he needs a good cry and Stede isn’t home to talk it through.
Today, he’s thinking about his childhood and how lonely it was growing up an only child in a volatile home environment. The song seven comes on. He remembers desperately wishing someone had been there with him, someone to talk to, someone to keep him distracted.
He can feel the tears welling in his eyes as he puts the song on repeat, lying on the floor as he lets the sadness consume him.
Ed thinks about all the times he hid in his closet, imagining worlds long, long ago and far, far away. His favorite was being a pirate captain: sailing the seas, salt breeze in his hair, beating the shit out of some random ship’s captain that had his father’s face.
But there was also someone else with him.
A beautiful boy made of sunlight and polished gold and turquoise skies. They had the most wonderful adventures any little boy would be lucky to conjure up, with days full of life and love and laughter. A far cry from the sounds of his father screaming in the background.
And then, his dreams became reality in more ways than one.
His father died. Or, more aptly, Ed finally stood up for himself. He was only fourteen, and what a nightmare of an experience for a brown kid fresh out of middle school. It wasn’t easy, but eventually, FINALLY—after nearly several years and endless continued court dates—it was ruled self-defense. Not that it kept the whole town from talking about him like he was a criminal anyway.
Ed would never shed a tear for the bastard, but he would always mourn the little boy who died with him. The little boy he could have been. The innocent childhood moments that were stolen from him.
He slogged through life after that, the entire thing coloring his view of life a jaded gray. Half the time he wasn’t even sure what he was living for, if there was a point to continuing to be miserable and lonely.
And then, one day, the sun finally broke through the clouds, throwing the world back into sharp relief.
He met Stede Bonnet. Suddenly, the flowers smelled better than ever, the birds songs even lovelier than before, the very ground he walked upon felt stronger and sturdier under his feet. Maybe there was something to this life thing after all.
It was like he plucked that little boy made of sun and gold and gemstones right from his dreams.
He’s still crying by the time Stede gets home, where he finds him on the living room floor, staring blankly up at the ceiling. He’s about to ask what’s wrong when the song restarts for probably the thirtieth time. Stede doesn’t say a word, just drops his work bag at the front door and lays down next to Ed.
They stay there—Ed doesn’t know how long, he’s not keeping track—not talking. Not yet. At some point, they had wrapped themselves around each other so completely it was almost impossible to tell where one ended and the other began. Stede gently runs his fingers through Ed’s soft curls, humming along to the song.
“Where did you go this time?” Stede whispers eventually, turning to look Ed in the eye.
“The uszh, sailing the seas and being a menace.”
Stede chuckles softly, pressing a kiss to his forehead.
"And how were you terrorizing the Caribbean today?"
"Put on the best fuckery in all the seven seas. They didn't know what hit 'em!" Ed gives Stede a gentle one-two punch under his chin with a "pshh-pshh," giggling quietly when Stede pretends to look affronted.
"Oh, well, I'm sorry I missed it."
"You should be. There were ghosts and witches and cats and sirens and krakens."
"Wow, sounds like quite a big fuckery to pull off."
It's Ed's turn to pretend to be offended now. "Are you doubting my genius fuckery skills, Captain Bonnet?"
Stede laughs, loud and deep, the echoes reverberating down to Ed's bones. "I wouldn't dare, Captain Teach."
"Yeah, that's what I thought," Ed grumps playfully, shoving his face in Stede's chest and takes a deep breath of his signature lavender and orange cologne. "History's most brilliant tactitian, don't you forget it."
"Couldn't even if I tried." Stede gives him a tight squeeze before pivoting the conversation. "Are you ready to talk about it?"
"Not much to talk about, really," Ed says, the words muffled as he still hasn't removed his face from Stede's chest. "Just felt like a cry and then this song came on and well… y'know."
Stede hums in acknowledgement, continuing to card his fingers through Ed's hair. He is well aware of Ed's past, having spent a night or two in their time together talking Ed down from nightmares and flashbacks. It isn't always that serious, and sometimes it feels good to sit with the memories and greive his past self for a little bit. But knowing that Stede would be always be there made it a little more bearable. It's quiet for a moment as the song ends and starts again, as it has been for the past couple of hours.
"Darling," Stede whispers, running a finger under Ed's chin to give him a pleading look.
"Mm?"
"You know I love you so, so very much—"
Ed smirks, knowing exactly where this is going.
"—and I would never say anything to intentionally upset you—"
"Mhm."
"—and that I will support you however you need—"
"Right."
"—but I cannot listen to this song one more time, I am so sorry."
Ed laughs as Stede extricates himself from their embrace, reaching over to change the playlist. He grabs Ed by the hands and pulls him to sit up with him, keeping Ed's hands in his—turning them over, running his fingers over the rings, bringing them to his lips and kissing each fingertip. Ed can feel his expression soften, a sickeningly besotted look overtaking his features.
The day they met, he made a promise to himself he was never going to take this insane, fascinating, completely unserious man for granted. All it had taken was one fated conversation on a hopeless day and his entire world changed. The boy from his dreams appearing to him in his darkest moments and showing him there was more to life than he could have ever hoped for. Ed grabs Stede by the face and pulls him in for a kiss, soft and tender and so, so sweet.
"Thank you," he whispers, touching their foreheads together.
"For what?"
"For… being you."
Stede smiles, brushing the hair out of Ed's face and giving him one more kiss before suggesting they get cleaned up.
He is taking Ed out for dinner.