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Jinx collapsed on her back, gasping for air. The explosion echoed in the vent pipe, as did screams from her sister. Sighing, she closed her eyes. The worst was over now. No more fighting. Not to the death, anyways.
That brought a small, yet unpleasant skip in her chest. She survived. Alive and well, as folks liked to say, but the concept spilled through Jinx’s fingers like water. She lived, true, but she wasn’t alive. Not in the sense everyone else spoke of. She was... there. That much she knew.
And if she stayed there, in Piltover or Zaun, it was only a matter of time before she contemplated doing something stupid. Just a ticking bomb, waiting to blow. But why was anyone surprised when she was a frayed fuse, surrounded by flames? Of course she’d ignite and detonate, especially when everyone doused her in gasoline.
Well, not everyone. All but one.
Jinx shoved that thought aside to formulate a new strategy. Easier said than done when she used the last of her Shimmer-enhanced energy evading her grenade blast. She huffed, struggling to keep her eyes open. So, staying wasn’t an option. Then what? Her one-way ticket out of that dumpster fire of a city had crashed and burned. Sans colorful explosions, too. Boo, what a waste. But maybe... no, Piltover would suspend all transport in and out of the city until further notice. As a safety precaution or whatever. Boo, again.
Maybe I should’ve died. Wouldn’t need to stress over this.
Maybe. It was convenient, to be honest. But Jinx yawned and rolled onto her side. All that combat made her sleepy. She deserved a nap. Folks would make do without her, their beloved symbol, for a bit. Doubt anyone would miss me. Better enjoy the peace and quiet while it lasts.
No dreams visited Jinx. No nightmares either. For all she knew, she shut her eyes, then cracked them open seconds later to darkness. A headache wracked her skull as she sat up, along with a kink in her neck she couldn’t knead out. Another inhale and she sprawled out on her back again.
What the hell am I even doing? Better yet, why bother?
Exhaustion weighed her down, stemming from either fatigue or depression. She ran out of fucks to discern the difference. Whatever the case, it rendered her immobile until dawn. Or until sunlight trickled into the vents. Hard to tell down there. Definitely beat wallowing in a void of fuck all. She might have stayed longer, if not for her empty stomach growling for sustenance.
“Alright.” Jinx forced herself upright, albeit sluggish. “Time to rise and shine or... something.”
She navigated the winding pipes, her footfall amplified by the acoustics. The path led to an opening by the river, where a typically bustling street was barren. Well, save for a slew of fallen enforcers. They wouldn’t miss their jackets or cloaks she swiped to conceal herself. Jinx scurried along the outskirts, avoiding crowds of any size while searching for a meal.
No food stalls or restaurants were welcoming patrons, though. Who had time to grill meat or scrambled eggs when everyone was in mourning? About damn time the world finally mirrored what she felt—absolute shit. Don’t get used to it, Jinx reminded herself. Besides, no one is mourning you.
Her late breakfast—or early dinner, considering the setting sun—resided in a back-alley trash can by a bakery. Not the most pleasant stench, but the pastries contained zero mold. She perched on a stack of pallets, sucking expired icing off her fingers. Okay, step one was crossed off her list. Now what? Get the hell out of there, obviously, but how?
Voices from the main street grew in volume. Jinx flinched and ducked for cover. A group of Zaunites ambled by, chatting about something that eluded her, yet worthy of that sullen tone. Definitely no mention of her. Tch, why would they bring her up? Calm down. Everyone has bigger problems to deal with. All the more reason to skip town. The sooner, the better. Ideally now, but the lack of airships joining the clouds meant Jinx was landlocked.
So she fled deeper into the city, to somewhere she could truly be alone.
With her hideout demolished—hey, at least she got it airborne—and all of Silco’s haunts torched, Jinx counted her options for refuge on literally a single finger. It certainly wasn’t her first pick, for a myriad of reasons, but she recalled the path to that spot Vi showed her as a kid. Almost like coming home, like burrowing into a blanket after a tedious day. There was, however, a small chance of someone being there. Vi, most likely, but Jinx imagined whatever mansion her Piltie girlfriend was flaunting served as a better place to cry in than literally anywhere in Zaun.
As Jinx ascended the disheveled stairs, skipping every other step, she braced for an unlikely confrontation with her older sister. Good news? Vi was nowhere to be found.
Bad news? Someone else was present.
Air hitched in her throat. Jinx froze and stared ahead. Nighttime swallowed the skies and distant lanterns floated towards the stars. She recognized it; she participated in something similar when her parents had died. Jot down the name of a loved one before the world forgets and feed the paper slip to a flame. It was designed to ease the suffering. In hindsight, it made her want to torch the whole fucking city.
But neither the past nor future dawned on Jinx. Not when she focused on Ekko.
He sat with his back to her, still wearing his getup from the other day, but not the valor that accompanied it. A hundred questions rattled in her brain. How did he get there? Why was he there? But most importantly, whose name did he write on that bit of parchment before setting it ablaze?
Embers sparkled midair. Blink and it was gone forever. Kind of like herself, had he not shown up to... yeah. Rubbing her arm, Jinx shuffled forward—to him.
“Fancy meeting you here,” she teased, or tried to. Shit, she sounded like hot garbage, more jaded than anything else. “Wasn’t expecting—”
Ekko yelped and Jinx cowered. As he vaulted to his feet and spun around, the initial adrenaline faded from his features until shock remained.
“Jinx?” he uttered, his tone matching his expression.
Her eyebrow perked up. “Uh, yeah? Hi? Who else did you—”
Maybe Ekko indulged in a bit of Shimmer since she last saw him. What other explanation was there for his blinding speed towards her? Swift arms enveloped her, squeezed her. Jinx squeaked in that vice grip of a hug. Not exactly what she had in mind when arriving there.
“You’re here,” he murmured, each word trembling. “You’re... you’re alive.”
Why wouldn’t I be? she almost quipped, but the way he said it gave Jinx pause. Not only due to her current dilemma with being alive versus just surviving, but... Ekko believed she died. For real, this time. No shit he was borderline breaking her ribs with that hug. And to think she was taking a snooze in the ventilation system, convinced that no one cared if she was missing.
She was wrong, though. Fuck, she was so incredibly wrong.
“Hey, uh.” Jinx patted his back. “This is nice and all, but could you—”
Ekko sucked on his teeth and released her. She already missed him, despite being in arm’s reach.
“Sorry,” he rushed out. “I just—” His eyes darted about. Never lingering, never meeting her own stare. “I thought I lost you.”
Jinx crossed her arms. What was she to say? What could she say?
“Where were you?” he asked, a touch incredulous. “Vi told me you... that you let go and—”
“Yeah, I did,” she said on an exhale, “but I survived.” There was that word again. Survived. Jinx barely lifted her shoulders in a shrug. “All’s well that ends well.”
Ekko squinted. “Did you want to survive?”
A gut punch would’ve been gentler, kinder. “I... what does it matter anymore?”
“Because I’ve already written your name twice and I don’t—”
Ekko winced and shook his head, as if shaking off a bad dream. Tension plagued Jinx while his remark ricocheted in her brain. Twice. He wrote her name twice. One for now and one for.... Her stomach dropped. Shit.
“I’m terrified,” he elaborated, “that if I look away from you for more than two seconds? Then that’s it. You’ll be gone.”
Was that supposed to comfort her or torture her? Who the hell wanted her around? A year ago, she and Ekko were exchanging bloody noses. Now? No violence boiled in either of their veins. For Jinx, she was too tired to give a shit anymore. But Ekko? That remained a mystery. So did that device he carried around, containing her old monkey automatons. And the fact he knew the location of her hideout. And also whenever she blinked, he gasped for air, gained a fresh wound out of nowhere, and lost his signature face paint.
“Why the change of heart?” she asked.
Ekko cocked his head. “What?”
“Jinx wasn’t worth saving for you, right?”
No reply, but his gaze softened. For her. Jinx resisted a shudder. What could he possibly see in her, of all people? After everything she did?
“It’s not every day someone shows up and offers a bit of charity, you know? Especially from an enemy.” Jinx shrugged, beyond jaded. “And you never told me why you were there to help me with literally everything. I appreciate the extra hand with getting shit together—definitely couldn’t have pulled that off solo—but what the hell happened to make you give a fuck about me again?”
Ekko poked his tongue out to moisten his lips. “I meant it when I said that it’s never too late—”
“To build something new, I know. But I—” Scoffing, Jinx smacked her face. “You know what? Never mind. Forget I asked.”
Because she was tired of fighting, physically and verbally. A first for her, really, but it was true. Damn it, coming here was a mistake. She sought to lay low and clear her head; now she did anything but that. Maybe it was wise to leave and camp out in some crevasse in the Lanes that didn’t reek of mildew than—
“I didn’t think you were worth saving,” Ekko murmured, looking nowhere but at her, “but then I had this dream. Things were different and you were there. You were happy.”
Her heart skipped. That... sounded nice. But that’s why they were dreams, yeah? Nothing that amazing lasted forever.
“But you were also scared,” he continued, “and settled for a safe, predictable life.”
She blew out a chuckle. “Sounds pretty boring.”
Ekko did the same. “Sure does, huh?” A quiet lull came and went, then he broke the silence. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that you deserve to be carefree and happy.”
Did he mean that? Truly? Because if so, then that meant going poof once he looked away for those measly two seconds.
But what if.... No, that’s a stupid idea. Better than no idea. Plus, everyone and their mom considered her ideas stupid by default. So fuck it. Pull the pin, chuck it point-blank, and see what happens.
“I’m planning on leaving,” Jinx said.
Ekko recoiled. “You’re... what?”
Welp. That backfired spectacularly. Great. Just... fucking great.
“Where are you going?” Ekko inquired. “How are you—”
“I-I don’t know, okay?!” She evaded his stare, wrapping her arms tighter around herself. Still didn’t come close to his hug. “I’m making this up as I go along.” A beat, then, “What I do know is I can’t... stay here. In Zaun or Piltover. I don’t trust myself to—” Jinx inhaled until her entire body quaked. “You know, avoid doing something stupid if I stick around.”
Pinpricks multiplied behind her eyes. She sniffed and gazed at the sky, where hundreds of lanterns floated. If only she could blaze bright and join the clouds.... Maybe then she’d find someplace to call home.
But also.
The past week? Spent with Ekko as he tended to her? Helped trim her hair? Repaired her base-turned-badass-battle-blimp? Offered to fight on her side instead of against it? Played along after she branded him with spray paint—after he accepted and wore the beads she dyed for him? That distracted Jinx enough to forget about ending her life.
Was that what it meant to be happy? To be safe? Was it possible for home to be more than a physical location? Could it possibly be someone instead of somewhere?
No answers emerged to soothe her. She did, however, devise Stupid Idea Number Two.
“Come with me,” Jinx coughed up.
Ekko blinked. “What?”
“You said you didn’t want to take your eyes off me.” Rubbing a loose fist under her nose, Jinx shuffled closer. “So, why not tag along? We can ditch this place and go wherever we please and—”
“When?”
Warmth swelled in her chest. “Soon as we can? Whenever the next flight out of Piltover is cleared for departure. Easy enough to sneak into the cargo hold via the vents, but you already knew that, yeah?”
Ekko never humored her jest. He stiffened, more devastated than elated.
“Jinx, I—” His lovely eyes fell from hers. “It isn’t that I don’t want to, but there are some things I need to do before I even consider skipping town and—”
“Right. Yeah.” Fucking pinpricks again. “Sure thing. That—” Another sniff. Another wobble in her chin. “That’s fine. You shouldn’t babysit me. You’ve got more important shit to—”
“Hey.”
“And it’s not like I have much of a clue as to what I’m doing, so for all I know, this pathetic plan will blow up in my face and you already talked me out of that once. Don’t want to make a habit of dragging you into my—”
“Hey, slow do—”
“I just thought it would be nice to take whatever dream you had and maybe make it a reality? Or something?” Why was everything blurry? Why did her voice tremble like a leaf amidst a hurricane? “But why bother? I’m living up to my namesake. Always one fuck-up away from ruining it for every—”
A hand cupped her cheek. The tender touch rendered her speechless, but it was Ekko dipping in to kiss away her tears that broke her brain outright. Gentle lips met her skin, over and over. Fresh tears spilled and he caught every single one. He even caught her in his arms when her knees buckled.
“If I could be in two places at once?” he whispered into her skin. “I’d join you in a heartbeat.”
Jinx choked on a sob. “Don’t say that to make me feel better.”
“I’m not.”
“Then—”
“Hey.”
Ekko tilted her chin until her face was parallel to his own. The tips of their noses brushed. His warm eyes entranced her, somehow soft despite every damn thing working against them. If those eyes had greeted her years ago instead of Silco’s... no, what was the point in dwelling on that? Neither of them could turn back time and alter the past.
“You are worth fighting for,” Ekko said, his breath teasing her lips. “And you deserve to live outside a cage. I’d rather you fly free than clip your wings.”
But I couldn’t fucking fly at all without your help. “I don’t deserve you, Ekko. You’re—” She fumbled her words while his thumb stroked the edge of her mouth. Damn it, she yearned to nuzzle into his palm and never leave. “You’re too good to me.”
“Only telling the truth.”
Better off swallowing shattered glass at that point. Same difference. Simply ignoring the sting, the stubborn clusters refusing to go down, the fact it never got easier the more she did it. But when Ekko spoke it? Nothing cut into her. It just... swept Jinx into something tender. She hated how much she craved for more of that.
“Then tell me something else that’s true,” Jinx murmured. “If you could change any of this, would you?”
The silence stretched on and beyond her comfort zone. Jinx refused to break away, boring into Ekko while he contemplated her question. A part of her longed to scream and throw him off a cliff. But she waited. And waited.
Until.
“If I had the chance,” he said, “to go back and do things differently? The only change I’d make is to waste more time with you.”
Jinx’s jaw went slack. She wanted to hit him. She wanted to shriek in his face that he was wrong. She wanted to knock over shit and blow up every nook and cranny of Zaun they left a mark on, even the fleeting ones. She wanted to run until she collapsed, to shove a grenade down her throat, to drown in the ocean, to crack open Ekko’s skull to figure out what he ever saw in her.
She wanted a lot of things—things she’d never have, things perpetually out of reach, all to spite her. She wanted and wanted, yet hesitated with taking a leap. Not with broken wings. But if not now, then when? If at all?
Except she didn’t need to jump; she had to take one step. And she did. Into Ekko, into unknown terrifying territory. All to crush her mouth against his.
He hissed. Went rigid, too. Then he melted and trembled and groaned into her lips. Shudders seized Jinx. She tore away before she lost herself in his kisses. Once was enough. Any more and she didn’t trust herself to stay out of trouble.
At least they could part ways on a positive note, right? It beat assuming she was dead and rotting in a ditch.
“Goodbye, Ekko,” she whispered.
He stuttered a reply as she shoved him. He reached out as she bolted elsewhere in a pink blur. He burned upon her lips as she berated herself for another stupid idea. He lingered despite her efforts as she wailed and mourned the life she could never have.
He told her the truth as she once again fled from it, because that was easier than accepting his love.
Sunlight peeked through the clouds. A conductor announced the last call for boarding. Several wealthy merchants jogged to catch the outbound airship, unaware of the movement beneath the catwalks.
Jinx successfully infiltrated the cargo hold. Barely the height of luxury, but she preferred the company of a bunch of crates to actual people. Less judge-y stares and questions that way. Besides, everyone claimed Jinx was dead. Best to play along until she fled Piltover.
After catching her breath, she shrugged off a makeshift cloak. A hot bath sounded divine right about now, but Jinx made do with cleaning up at the river. Finally scrubbed off that last bit of stubborn paint. Beggars couldn’t be choosers or whatever. At least she could choose this: an escape route out of her personal hell. That counted for something, right? Might as well get cozy and sleep through the next six hours before—
Heavy boots thumped through the cargo hold. Assuming a defensive stance, Jinx whipped around. Then immediately yielded. Because stepping out of the shadow and to her was—
“Ekko?” she said. “What are you doing here?”
His lips curled up. “Catching a ride out of here. Was starting to think you’d never show up. First airship out of Piltover, yeah?”
“What? But I... you said you had other stuff to focus on here.”
“I did, but I also found out that everyone I was looking out for did alright without me for the past few months.”
Wait, the past... how long? “What are you talking about?”
“I’ve done my part to help Zaun heal. Seeds don’t exactly grow faster while you’re sitting around and watching the dirt.” He rubbed his neck, struggling to maintain eye contact. “So I figured... maybe I should spend that time doing something else.”
“Like what?”
He stepped closer. “Like taking you up on your offer.”
Jinx balked. “You really want to waste your time with me?”
“As much as I can, yeah.”
Rolling her eyes, she approached a porthole. The airship pulled away from the dock. Right on schedule. No turning back now.
“Do you not want me here?” he asked.
“I didn’t say that.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“Nothing. I—” Jinx fiddled with the one lock of hair she hadn’t chopped off. “This is new to me.”
No response, but his dense boots drew nearer.
“And I don’t want to fuck anything else up,” she admitted. “I don’t... want to give you a reason to regret this.”
“That makes two of us,” Ekko said from behind. “But we can figure it out together.”
Maybe. Seemed so simple when he put it like that.
“For what it’s worth?” he continued. “I won’t regret sharing this new thing with you.”
“Famous last words,” she groaned.
“Is it? We’re barely out of Piltover and you’re planning for a funeral.”
“Tch. No, I’m not.”
Was he... chuckling? “Oh really? Then what did you have in mind?”
Leaning against the cool glass of the porthole, Jinx watched the only place she knew as home shrink into the horizon. “I want to visit a beach.”
“A beach?”
“Shut up.” Jinx elbowed him. “You asked.”
“Alright, sure.” Nothing prepared her for the decadent arms sweeping around her from behind. “Tell me more about this beach day.”
Blush singed her cheeks. “I don’t know, just... want to play in the water. Wear a cute swimsuit, because no shit. Maybe take a leisurely stroll at sunset, like they do in those dumb fairy tale stories. Collect shells and cool rocks. Chase seagulls.”
“That it?”
She shrugged. “I saw a poster once for ice cream that had like, kids licking them while at a beach. Not like the shores in Piltover, but sandy ones. That stretch on forever.”
“We had ice cream as kids.”
“Yeah, okay, but not on a beach. And none of them were covered in chocolate sauce or rainbow sprinkles or caramel.”
Ekko chuckled, then leaned in. His lips found a home along her neck—slow kisses exploring every inch of exposed skin.
“One problem, though,” he said instead of lavishing her with attention.
She pouted. “What?”
“When we get to this beach? I don’t think I’ll want to leave.”
The cargo hold rattled as the airship gained momentum. Another moment and nothing but ocean would flood the window view. Releasing a breath she didn’t know she held onto, Jinx smiled—for the first time in a long time.
“Then I guess we never will, huh?” she murmured.
Ekko didn’t reply, but he also didn’t let her go while the world sailed by. Of all the abrupt changes in the past week, that one was her favorite.