Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Remind me why we’re taking this call?” Buck groused from his seat. “Shouldn’t a wildland crew be on it?”

Not that Buck minded handling wildfires. He had a good amount of wildland qualifications, this was California after all. Even if the 118 didn’t run wildland out of their station that didn’t mean they weren’t sent out to handle a wildfire every now and then. Usually it was just small stuff, though. A few trees in a park that went up from a carelessly tossed cigarette or something along those lines.

No, the problem was that there wasn’t a fire. At least not that they’d found so far. It was just a report of smoke out behind the Hollywood sign. A vague report of smoke. At two in the morning. He’d just gotten to sleep in the bunkroom when the tones had dropped.

“All the wildland crews are busy with that fire near Temecula,” Bobby said. “Until this is anything solid, it’s ours.”

Buck groaned, sliding down in his seat even though he knew it made him look like a petulant child. He wished Eddie were here. Eddie would’ve cheered him up. Asked him about wildfires and let Buck prattle on about defensive space and fire resistant plants and whatever other odd facts dropped into his brain. But Eddie wasn’t here. He was in Texas. Had been for three weeks now.

They’d started out talking every day, Eddie hopeful and excited to be reconnecting with Chris. It was still pretty rocky, had started off with a lot of yelling on Christopher’s part, but they’d made a little progress it seemed. Problem was, Eddie seemed to be making a lot less progress with his parents. They were still pushing and needling at him, acting like he was the worst parent ever. (Not that Eddie ever said it in those words, he tended to give his parents the benefit of doubt, but it was the picture Buck got anyway.) Between that and the shitty retail job he was working until a spot opened up at one of the departments in El Paso, Eddie was struggling. Buck hated it. He hated that their calls had dwindled to every other day, then mostly texting. He hated that he couldn’t just rush over to Eddie’s house and make it better with good food and a beer and someone to listen.

Well. He could go to the house. Eddie just wouldn’t be there anymore. Buck was helping him rent it out, interviewing tenants and showing them around. Trying very, very hard not to make up dumb excuses why they weren’t the right tenants just to keep the house from being occupied by someone else for a little bit longer. He knew Eddie really needed that rental income. He just…he didn’t want other people in there. It wasn’t theirs.

“Alright, screw this,” Buck said, grabbing his radio. He was sick of trundling around in the dark. It was giving him a dangerous amount of time to think. “Dispatch, can you send us the reporting party’s name and phone number please?”

“That’ll be Ron, no last name, 970-555-4356,” dispatch answered.

Buck thanked them and pulled out his cell, swiping over to Google Voice. He’d long ago learned not to make calls from his personal number. “Hello, Ron? My name is Buck, I’m with LAFD, we’re following up on the smoke report you called in. Was hoping you could give me a little more information on the location.”

“Oh yeah, sure, sure. I can still see it, you know. Out here camping,” Ron said.

Buck narrowed his eyes, earning a raised eyebrow from Hen. There was something a little funky about Ron’s voice.

“I think he’s high,” Buck mouthed to the others.

They all groaned and rolled their eyes.

“Okay, sir, where are you camping?” Buck asked. “We’ll meet you there, and you can show us what you’re seeing.”

“I’m seeing smoke,” Ron replied.

“Uh-huh. But we aren’t, so where are you?” Buck prodded. It took a little more prodding to finally get an answer, and Buck passed the information on to Johna in the driver’s seat.

They ended up in the bottom of a gully, parked next to a little red sedan with a man sprawled out on the hood, staring up at the overcast sky like he could see the stars.

“Is that…?” Ravi said as they all got out of the engine and stared incredulously at the hillside.

Normally, Buck probably would’ve burst out laughing at this point. Tonight he just sighed. “Sheep. It’s fucking sheep.”

There was a big line of them, fluffy white, trailing up the side of the hill.

“Is that the smoke you’re seeing, sir?” Bobby asked, pointing to the sheep.

“Yep!” Ron declared. “Been watching it ever since it started. You don’t think it’ll turn into something big, do you? I ate all the canned ravioli in my evac bag last week.”

Buck just rolled his eyes and climbed back into the engine. The others could handle it from here. He was only alone for a few seconds, though, before Chimney had climbed in with him.

“This one’s going in the album of dumb calls for sure,” he chuckled.

Buck hummed. Chimney sighed.

“He’s only renting the house, right?” Chimney said. “That’s proof that he meant it when he said he’s going to come back.”

Buck didn’t answer. He’d had that debate enough times in his own head, he didn’t want to have it again out loud. Sure, Eddie’s plan was to come back. But he’d never planned to go back to Texas at all, either. Things happened. Kids ran away to live with terrible grandparents and then refused to talk to you.

Buck’s phone buzzed, and he pulled it out to see a text from Eddie on the screen.

I noticed something today.

???

They won ’t leave me alone with him.

Ever.

They always make some excuse to be in the room.

Buck wanted to say, “So screw them. Screw all of it. Put Chris in the truck and come home, let him be mad at you here.” But he couldn’t do that. It wouldn’t work. Not over text, anyway.

You get to choose how you interact with Chris.

He ’s your son.

Tell them to butt out.

I ’m just. I’m so damn tired, Buck.

It feels like its coming at me from every side.

And I ’ve got a shift in half-an-hour.

I know.

Call me after your shift.

We ’ll sort it out.

Buck rather doubted he’d get that call. That had been happening a lot lately too. Eddie would make confessions at midnight, and by morning act like they hadn’t happened. He was isolating himself, and there wasn’t a damn thing Buck could do about it all the way out here in LA.

——

They made it back to the station pretty quickly, all trudging towards the bunks and hoping fate didn’t notice their exhaustion. Buck dropped right back into his bunk face first, not even bothering to take his shoes off. Fate would certainly notice if he got comfortable enough to take them off.

When he woke again, it was to his phone vibrating annoyingly in his back pocket. Blearily he pulled it out, half expecting Eddie even though he would’ve been at work, unable to call him. It wasn’t Eddie, but it was an El Paso area code. Buck frowned and answered.

“Evan Buckley,” he mumbled, trying not to wake the others.

“Mr. Buckley, I am calling from the University Medical Center in El Paso—”

Buck’s blood ran cold and he snapped up out of the bed, dashing out into the hall.

“—are you the emergency contact for Edmundo Diaz?”

“Yes, what’s going on?” Buck’s voice was trying to shake, but he managed to hold it in check.

“Mr. Diaz was in a car accident, he’s been brought in to our trauma center,” the woman on the phone explained.

Buck’s heart dropped through the floor. “How bad is it?”

“That might be a better conversation to have in person,” she said.

Something flipped in Buck’s brain, his training taking over and shoving everything else to the back of his mind. “I’m in LA, not El Paso. I’m a firefighter EMT with the LAFD, I need you to explain it to me over the phone. I’m getting on the next flight out.”

To her credit, the nurse didn’t question him. Maybe she recognized his tone, the one all first responders had. “He’s in surgery right now. He has a fractured skull and there are signs of brain swelling.”

Buck almost tripped down the stairs he was halfway down, but managed to keep his feet. “What else?”

“Fractured left arm, five fractured ribs on his left side, and some deep gashes.”

“Was anyone else injured?” Buck pounded on Bobby’s office door.

“No sir, it was a single car accident and he was alone in the vehicle,” she said.

Bobby opened the door blearily.

Buck pulled the phone halfway away from his face. “Eddie was in a car accident, I’m leaving.”

He didn’t give Bobby time to answer before he was sprinting for the locker room and his keys, then for his Jeep.

“Okay, whatever you have to do, do it,” Buck told her. “Whatever choices save his life, make them. If you can’t get a hold of me because I’m on the flight, I need you to call Bobby Nash, he’s our fire captain. His number should be in Eddie’s file too.”

“Understood,” she said. “I see there’s also a note in here not to contact his parents?”

Buck hissed. There was a note in there that said that. And it was a note that had been a hell of a lot easier to enforce when Eddie was in LA. But he was back in El Paso now. Keeping them out of the way was going to be a lot harder.

“Yes. They aren’t allowed to be involved at all,” Buck told her.

——

Buck didn’t remember the flight. He remembered parking his Jeep in a tow away zone right next to the airport, grabbing a fresh shirt out of the back so he wouldn’t get in trouble for traveling with his uniform on when he wasn’t working, buying the ticket on the shitty little commuter airline, and then…not much. Not until he landed and practically sprinted to the rental counter.

The hospital hadn’t called.

It was a short flight, though. No updates were probably better than updates at this point, or so he told himself. Not speeding on the way to the hospital was excruciating, but there was no Athena to bail him out here.

He was through the doors and trying to catch his breath before he realized he had no idea where he was going. The ER? A surgical ward? It was halfway to the front desk that a familiar, scared voice called out to him.

“Buck!”

Buck turned immediately to see Christopher down the hall, looking at Buck with wide, red eyes. A second later Buck had his arms wrapped tight around Christopher, the hug returned just as tightly.

“They won’t tell us what’s—what’s going on,” Christopher hiccuped.

Buck squeezed him. “I’ll figure it out, where’s your grandparents?”

Christopher pulled away just a little and nodded towards a room down the hall that was labeled as a private waiting room. There was a thin floor to ceiling window next to the door, giving a view of Helena and Ramon talking to what looked like a hospital administrator, based on his suit. Yelling, more than talking, if Helena’s hand gestures were anything to go by.

“They made me come sit in the hall,” Chris mumbled, pointing to a chair that still had his crutches leaned up next to it.

“Let me talk to them and figure out what’s going on,” Buck said. “Then I’ll come tell you, okay?”

“Promise?”

Buck cocked his head.

“Promise you’ll tell me?” Chris clarified, tears starting to build in the corners of his eyes. “Abuela and abuelo never tell me anything.”

“I will tell you,” Buck said. “Promise.”

Chris nodded and pulled away, letting Buck help him back to his chair. Buck leaned down and kissed the top of his head before squaring his shoulders and heading for the waiting room.

“—my son! You cannot keep him from me!” Helena yelled in the face of the administrator.

Everything stopped the second Buck stepped into the room. Helena’s mouth was halfway open and Ramon took a half step like he was about to push Buck back into the hall. The administrator’s expression was neutral, though his eyes bouncing back and forth between everyone.

“I’m Evan Buckley, Eddie’s emergency contact,” Buck said. He needed to get this fucking over with. Helena and Ramon were not his damn priority right now.

“Oh, good,” the administrator said. “I’m Doctor Perevil. Mr. Diaz’s parents would like to be updated on his condition, but due to the note on his file we haven’t been able to provide that update.”

Buck ran rapid fire over the options in his mind. He didn’t actually know Helena and Ramon all that well, just well enough not to like nor trust them. Buck didn’t know how this would go if he really got into it with them. But now was not the time to have that argument, no matter how it went.

“They can be updated, but all decisions go through me,” Buck decided.

Helena didn’t look any less affronted.

“Buck,” Ramon said. “We appreciate that you and Eddie are close, but he is our son.”

Buck turned to them, doing his best to use his voice that he put on when he had to control a difficult scene. “Here is the deal. I am not just his emergency contact, I am his medical power of attorney, and I am Christopher’s legal guardian in both his will and his living will. Those were Eddie’s choices for how situations like this would be handled, and you are going to respect that. In return, I will respect your desire to be here and be made aware of what is going on. Push those boundaries, and I have every right to have you escorted from the premises. Have I made myself clear?”

Clear or not, they did shut up, just staring at him wide-eyed as Buck turned back to Dr. Perevil.

The doctor glanced between them before nodding. He gave an overview of what the nurse had already told Buck before letting them know anything new. “Mr. Diaz is stable. The brain swelling has decreased and the fracture in his skull has been stabilized with a 3D mesh. He has been placed in a temporary coma for now, while we wait for the rest of the swelling to abate.”

“Was he awake at the scene?” Buck pressed. He had half a mind to call whatever department had responded and get the report directly from them. He needed to understand this, every piece of it. Needed to pull it apart until it felt like he’d been the one there, pulling Eddie out of the truck.

“Yes, but he lost consciousness as he was pulled out and did not regain it,” the doctor explained.

“What caused the accident?” Buck wasn’t sure this man would know that, but he had to ask. He’d ask everyone possible until he found his answer.

“We believe the rain may have been a factor,” he said. “But beyond that we don’t know.”

“Thank you. When can I see him?” Buck asked.

“Shortly. We’ll send a nurse to get you.”

Buck nodded, shaking the doctor’s hand before he walked out the door. Buck had already forgotten his name. There wasn’t room for it in his head. He moved to leave as well, but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder, ducking away from the contact and turning around to find Ramon glaring at him.

“I don’t have time for this argument,” Buck cut him off before he could say anything. “I promised Chris I would tell him what was going on.”

“You will do no such thing!” Helena said, voice rising in pitch. “He is a child. He does not need to know a single thing about any of this.”

“Eddie is his father,” Buck returned. “Chris needs to, and deserves to know everything about this. He’s fourteen, not five.”

“No!” Helena spat, taking a step around Buck and blocking the door.

“You brought him here,” Buck pointed out.

“We were taking him to school when we got the call from a friend who saw the wreak on their way to work,” Ramon returned, going to join his wife.

Buck wasn’t doing this. As easy as it would be to move both of them out of the way, that wouldn’t help the situation. So he pulled out his phone instead and dialed the hospital, asking to be connected to security. Ramon and Helena looked just as astonished at this as they had at everything else he’d done. Buck was pretty sure no one had ever stood up to their crap before, not like this.

A voice answered, “Security.”

Ramon and Helena stepped out of the way.

“Sorry, I think the phone tree connected me to the wrong person,” Buck said. “There’s no issue.”

He shouldered past Ramon and out into the hall, forcibly softening his expression before going and kneeling in front of Christopher. Christopher glanced at his grandparents before turning his eyes, still wide and scared, back to Buck.

For a moment, Buck froze. As insistent as he’d been to Helena and Ramon, he had no idea how to fucking do this. He wasn’t a parent, as much as he sometimes wanted to be. What did he say? How did he not traumatize Chris more than he already was? When he’d done it before, after the shooting, he’d broken down. He didn’t want to do that again. And back then, he’d had no idea yet that if Eddie didn’t make it, he’d be all that Chris had left. Knowing that was the case now was making his heart stutter painfully. He would, without a second of hesitation, take Chris. But god, he didn’t want to.

“Your dad is stable,” Buck said finally, trying to focus on the stuff he thought he’d want to know if he were in Christopher’s position. If he’d been a kid and it had been Maddie in the hospital after a car accident. “He had to have surgery to treat a fracture in his skull, but the doctor said he’s doing really good. He’s got some other injuries too, a broken arm and some broken ribs, and some cuts.”

Tears were gathering in Christopher’s eyes again. “Is he going to be okay?”

Was he? Buck didn’t have that answer. Head injuries were so damn unpredictable. Buck gently took Christopher’s hands and gave them a gentle squeeze. “Whatever happens, we’re in it together, okay? We’ll figure it out.”

“Because…because we’re a team?” Christopher’s voice was tiny as he pulled up those words from when he was little. He and Eddie had said it to one another all the time when Buck had first been getting to know them, but it had trickled off over the years.

Buck squeezed his hands again. “Yeah, we’re a team. All three of us.”

——

They were all in Eddie’s hospital room when the crash finally hit Buck, the adrenaline that had been keeping him going ever since he got the call finally reaching its limit. Trying to keep pushing forward anyway, he’d secured some artificial adrenaline in the form of terrible black coffee out of a machine right across the hall, and he was sipping on it now as he sat behind Christopher next to Eddie’s bed, gently rubbing Christopher’s back.

Christopher kept starting and stopping saying things to his dad, occasionally sending frustrated little glances towards Helena and Ramon on the other side of the bed. Buck was getting the impression there was something going on there, something not great, and he’d been trying to come up with a good way to get Helena and Ramon to leave and coming up empty. They’d cause a scene.

About an hour after they made it in to the room, a frazzled looking young woman came in, looking like she’d been crying. Adrianna, Buck realized. Adri. Eddie’s youngest sister. Buck had never met her, somehow. She’d visited Eddie in LA a few times, but the visits were always brief and had never worked with Buck’s schedule. He didn’t even know her age. Early twenties? The gap between her and Eddie was bigger than the gap between himself and Maddie, he knew that, with Sophia somewhere in the middle but closer to Eddie.

“How is he?” Adri asked.

“Stable,” Helena said, glaring at Buck even though he hadn’t tried to be the one to answer.

Adri clocked it, though, looking between her parents and Buck. Her eyes settled on Christopher, though he was still too busy looking at his dad to notice. After a moment, her attention was back on Buck.

“You’re Buck, right? Eddie’s talked about you a lot ever since he got home,” she said, holding out her hand.

Buck put his coffee between his knees to shake her hand so he didn’t have to let go of Christopher. He was too exhausted and worried to wonder why Eddie had talked about him so much, to feel the warmth that statement would’ve normally filled him with.

“How about the four of us step out into the hall to talk,” Adri said. “Chris can stay here and keep an eye on his dad.”

Buck checked with Chris that it was okay, earning a nod and a sniffle. He didn’t want to leave him, but he wasn’t going to say no to this opportunity to speak to Helena and Ramon alone now that there was time to have the argument over them being here.

Adri got to them first, though, rounding on her parents once they were a dozen feet down the hall. “What are you glaring at Buck for? Eddie’s lucky to have someone care about him so much.”

There was a lot of Eddie in her demeanor, as tiny as she was. Buck stood back and let her have at it.

Helena glanced at him, then answered her daughter in rapid Spanish about Buck’s current position in this situation. Adri gave as good as she got, arguing back and forth about Eddie’s choices and his right to make them.

When there was a break in the conversation, Buck lightly said, “¿Qué te dio la impresión de que no sé español?”

Helena paled. She’d insulted him a hell of a lot in that conversation. Called him an interloper, an idiot, and a term Buck was pretty sure was meant as an insult towards cops specifically. She’d also thrown out that they’d called a lawyer about all of it.

“I worked in Central and South America for two years, have lived in LA for almost a decade, and been friends with your son for almost as long,” Buck supplied. “My Spanish is great.”

He still remembered the first time he’d cheekily answered Eddie’s Spanish muttering about someone who was being stupid at a scene, the way Eddie’s eyes had lit up. Buck’s dialect had been a bit different than Eddie’s back then, a strange mix of multiple countries and LA that had resulted in some hilarious mixups. But these days they were always on the same wavelength no matter what language they were speaking.

“My wife—” Ramon started, tucking Helena up against his side.

“Needs to leave,” Buck interrupted. “Both of you do. Have your lawyer call me. I’ll happily send over all the documents needed to prove what I said earlier.”

Buck had them ready to go on his phone. Just in case. After Eddie had told him about the will, and once he’d been feeling up to it, Buck had made him sit down and properly hash it all out. Make sure Buck knew everything, had everything. Eddie had spent the whole time smiling softly at him.

“This is exactly why I did it, you know,” Eddie had said. “Love how thorough you are. I didn’t think about half this stuff.”

Buck had just smiled back, tried to ignore the fact that his face was hot.

“You heard him,” Adri said, snapping Buck back into the present. “Time for you to go.”

“Christopher is coming with us, then,” Helena said.

“Try it,” Buck replied, putting himself between Helena and the path back to Christopher, arms crossed. He hadn’t bulked up to scare people (he’d done it to be overprotective of his team, if he was being honest), but he wasn’t unaware of the fact that he was such a big guy.

“We’ll call CPS,” Helena threatened.

“Again, try it,” Buck told her. If Chris really wanted to go with them, Buck would never stop that. But he truly didn’t think that would be the case at the moment.

Helena glared between Buck and her daughter before finally turning on her heel and stomping off, Ramon lingering for a moment before following. Adri deflated at Buck’s side.

“When he wakes up, I’m going to need you to teach Edmundo how to put them in their place like that,” she said.

Buck smiled tightly. “One day at a time.”

She looked at him with worried eyes, glancing towards her brother’s room. “He’s…he’s going to be okay, right?”

Adri looked so young. Young and scared. Eddie had always called her the firecracker of the family, which Buck knew he’d just gotten a preview of. But she was so young. She shouldn’t have to stand between her parents and her big brother like that.

“I hope so,” Buck said at last. “But the more drama your parents try to cause….”

She nodded firmly. “Leave them to me. You take care of my brother and my nephew.”

“Always.”

——

Buck only managed to convince Chris to go get some lunch with Adri by showing Chris as the two of them exchanged phone numbers, promising to text even the tiniest updates about how Eddie was doing. Buck wanted to talk to Chris about what was happening, what he wanted to do, but he needed some time to sort out his thoughts first. Figure out how to approach it.

Once Chris was gone, Buck settled into his chair on Eddie’s right side, gently picking up his hand and running his thumb across Eddie’s knuckles. He had a dozen things he needed to be doing right now. Tracking down the department that had responded to the accident, calling Bobby, calling the lawyer who had done Eddie’s will and everything else, just in case. But for a minute…for a minute he just wanted to sit with his best friend.

Eddie’s head was swathed in bandages, the whole left side of his face bruised and swollen. The break had been a fracture right behind and just above his ear. Buck had seen the x-ray. The fracture had been about three inches long. Buck had immediately asked for a copy of the MRI scan and emailed it to Hen for her opinion, but he hadn’t actually checked his phone to see if she’d responded. He was sort of afraid to.

“What happened, Eddie?” Buck whispered.

A little rain couldn’t have taken him out, right? He’d driven in much worse conditions than a little damn rain, and in vehicles much bigger than his truck. Maybe there had been something in the road. Something that had made him swerve.

The doctors thought they’d be able to wake him up either later in the day or early tomorrow. Buck knew it was safer to wait, but god, he didn’t want to wait. He wanted to see Eddie’s eyes open, flash gold in the sunlight coming in through the window. Wanted to hear Eddie’s voice, even if it would be scratchy from the tube down his throat. He wanted to know if his best friend was okay…or not.

Buck knew what he’d do if it was the second option. He’d take care of Eddie. No matter what, he’d take care of Eddie. But he didn’t know how he’d feel. How he’d be able to spend every day of his life knowing he’d never told Eddie that he loved him as more than a friend. Because he did. He’d realized it the moment Eddie had driven away with that little U-Haul full of personal belongings, everything else sold to help pay for the move. It had been raining then, too. It almost always seemed to be raining when they went through the worst moments of their lives.

“I should’ve told you, Eddie,” Buck whispered. He couldn’t seem to make himself be any louder than that. “I think I’d realized it before then, but I wasn’t letting myself see it until it crashed down on me the second you were out of sight. And I couldn’t…I couldn’t tell you over the phone. Especially not when you needed to focus on Chris.”

The silence in return was suffocating. Buck didn’t know what else to do except put his head down on the edge of the bed, forehead resting on Eddie’s forearm, and finally let himself cry, just a little.

——

“So,” Buck said once Chris was back.

Chris glanced at him but didn’t say anything, just tucked his hand back into Eddie’s. Adri had to leave, but said she was only a phonecall away if her parents tried anything, and that she’d back in the morning. Visiting hours were nearly up, and that meant Buck had to figure out a plan for Chris.

“Things seem kind of rough with your grandparents,” Buck said gently.

Chris shrugged.

Buck blew out a slow breath. “Okay Chris, here’s the deal, alright? You’re fourteen, so I’m going to treat you like an adult right now. But that’s a two way street. You’ve gotta talk to me so we can work through this together. I’m on your side, a hundred percent.”

Chris sniffed, shoulders hunching up. “I don’t like staying with them.”

“Okay, how come?”

“They…I don’t know. They kind of treat me like a baby. Not as much as they used to, but they don’t…treat me like me.” He picked at the blanket next to his dad’s hand.

“Ah,” Buck said. “Yeah, I always kind of got the impression that’s what they did to your dad too. Sometimes…parents are just like that. They get a picture of who they want you to be in their head, and they don’t like it very much when you end up being someone different.”

“Are they going to come take me back?” Chris asked, worry hiding in all the words.

“They might try,” Buck said, resting a gentle hand on Chris’s shoulder. “But, awhile ago, your dad arranged it so that if anything happened to him where he couldn’t take care of you, I would be the one getting legal custody, not your grandparents. So if you want to go with your grandparents, that’s fine, but if you want to stay with me, that’s what’s going to happen.”

Buck and Eddie had had a few conversations over the years about if they should ever tell Chris about all of that, always landing on the side of not telling him. It wasn’t worth the worry, they figured.

“I want to stay with you,” Chris said immediately.

“Then you stay with me,” Buck said. “If your grandparents have an issue with that, I’ll handle it.”

“I should’ve just gone to your loft in the first place,” Chris whispered.

“You were too mad,” Buck said, moving his arm to hug Chris instead. “And you had every right to be. I understand that you needed to be farther away.”

“And I knew you’d make me actually talk to him,” Chris muttered.

Buck managed a small laugh. “Yeah, yeah, I would have. Would’ve given you both time to cool off, though.”

“Why…why did it take him so long to come get me?” Chris asked, voice much smaller now. Younger.

Buck sighed, gently rubbing Chris’s arm as he tried to find the right way to frame the answer. It was a lot harder to come up with one when Eddie was right there, unconscious with his mind in an unknown condition. He should be the one explaining that to Chris.

“There’s a quote, and I don’t actually remember the real words to it, but it’s something about how one of the hardest parts of life is the realization that your parents are people too,” Buck said at last. “That they aren’t perfect superheroes who can do no wrong. Your dad is human, Chris. And he’s a human who has gone through a lot of really, really hard stuff. He made mistakes, but he was always trying his best to love you and take care of you the way he thought you deserved.

“I think…he didn’t come get you sooner because he was scared. Scared that he’d hurt you too much, and scared of himself for doing it. Scared that he couldn’t be the kind of parent you deserve. And he had to at least start to come to terms with all of that before he could come try to fix it.”

Chris sat with Buck’s answer for awhile, not saying anything, but Buck could see him thinking it over.

“I’m really glad he’s my dad,” Chris said finally. “Even when he gets it wrong.”

Buck had to fight the urge to cry at that, under the circumstances. He just hoped with everything he had that Eddie would wake up to hear it for himself.

——

It took a lot of convincing, both in his own head and then to Christopher, but the two of them ended up in a hotel across the street from the hospital for the night. Buck used a delivery app to get Chris some PJs and other supplies for the next couple days, asking Adri to stop by her parents’ house to get him some actual stuff before she came by the next day.

Sleep took him forcefully, but had a hard time holding him down. He kept waking up to imagined buzzes of his phone, but it was never anything. By morning he didn’t really feel like he’d slept at all.

“They’re going to try and wake him up today, right?” Chris said as they ate breakfast at the hotel restaurant.

“That’s the plan,” Buck said.

“I want to be there,” Chris insisted. “You said you’d treat me like an adult. I want to be there.”

Buck reached across the table and gently squeezed Chris’s hand. “I know you do, but this isn’t about you being an adult or not. Your dad is going to be…really disoriented when he wakes up. There’s a good chance he won’t remember the crash, and I don’t want him to see you and get scared that you were hurt too.”

Buck was lying through his teeth, honestly. Eddie being aware enough to worry about Chris would be a slim chance best case scenario at this point. But he had to find a way to keep Chris out of that room until he could assess for himself what sort of state Eddie was in. If he’d be having to give Chris even worse news. But Chris was stubborn. Buck had to give him something that didn’t just sound like a platitude handed to a child to keep them out of the way.

“Oh.” Chris seemed to chew on the statement a bit. “But…I’ll get to see him soon after, right?”

Buck nodded, trying not to shake. “Yeah. Once the doctors have checked him over and he’s…settled, I’ll come get you. Promise.”

Chris agreed and they finished their breakfast in silence before heading over to the hospital, meeting Adri at the door. She gave Chris a hug and ruffled his hair.

“Sophia’s going to be here this afternoon,” Adri said. “She had a hard time getting a flight with the weather in Toronto being what it is.”

They all headed in, straight to Eddie’s room where a doctor was waiting to give them an update. Eddie was doing really well, apparently. He’d just had another scan, which looked good, and his cranial pressure was back to normal. It was a relief, but there was still plenty of tension left in Buck’s shoulders.

“When are you going to wake him up?” Buck asked.

“Now, actually,” the doctor replied.

Buck’s heart seized. Now. He’d know in minutes if Eddie was okay or not. Was he ready? He’d honestly expected to be stuck in this limbo for awhile longer. At least in limbo there was potential for it to go the right way. But if he woke up and that potential drained away in the other direction—

Buck cut off his own thoughts with a shake of his head. There was no avoiding this. No safe, easy way out. He turned to Chris, who was looking at him with those same wide, scared eyes as he had the day before, and wrapped him up in a tight hug.

“Go with your Tia,” Buck said into Chris’s hair. “I’ll come get you as soon as I can, okay?”

Chris sniffed, hanging onto him for a second longer before letting go. He hesitated though, not turning to Adri and instead going over to Eddie’s bedside and taking Eddie’s hand.

“I love you, dad,” Chris said. “I’ll see you in a little bit.”

“Sweet kid,” the doctor said once Chris left with Adri.

Buck took a shaky breath. “Yeah. He’s…yeah.”

Sensing his discomfort, she started to explain the next steps. Taking Eddie off the ventilator, the reversal drugs to wake him up. Buck was more familiar with all of it than he wanted to be. How did he and Eddie keep ending up here, standing next to one another’s hospital beds? And it wasn’t even work related this time.

Buck took a deep breath, holding tight to Eddie’s right hand as the process began. He immediately started breathing on his own which was a great sign. He was fidgeting around too, moving all his limbs. Another good sign. It took a few more minutes for his eyes to flutter open, though it didn’t seem like he was really registering anything around him.

Swallowing down his fear, Buck gently squeezed Eddie’s hand. “Hey Eddie.”

Eddie rolled his head towards Buck as much as he could. He had a soft neck brace on still, so the movement was limited. “…Buck?”

Okay, okay. That was something. A good start. Buck smiled. “Just breathe for a minute. You’ve had a lot of heavy drugs in your system. I’ll explain everything once you’re more awake, alright?”

Eddie nodded, eyes roving slowly around the room. Buck just held his hand, running a thumb softly over his knuckles.

“I crashed,” Eddie said after a minute. “The truck.”

A whoosh of air escaped Buck’s lungs against his will. Eddie remembering was probably a good sign overall, but something in Eddie’s eyes when he said it just…wasn’t right.

“You did.” Buck leaned forward slightly, other hand coming up to rest on Eddie’s shoulder. The doctors and nurses were all still there, poking and prodding at the machines around Eddie and, no doubt, waiting to swoop in and start asking him questions. “No one else was hurt. I talked to the crew that responded, they said you hit a tree going around a curve, figured you’d lost traction in the rain.”

Eddie didn’t say anything. Wouldn’t even make eye contact with Buck now. New worries started to settle in between Buck’s shoulder blades, but all he could do for now was sit back and let the medical staff do their work. They poked and prodded, made Eddie answer questions about his life, the world, basic math. Eddie answered everything correctly, was able to move everything the way they wanted, but none of it made Buck feel as better as he’d expected it would. Because something was wrong. Not medically wrong, maybe, but wrong none the less.

“Well, Mr. Diaz,” the original doctor said. “You’re doing remarkably well. We’re keeping you in for now, and we’ll make a more solid determination on how long later today depending on how you continue to do. Any questions?”

“No,” Eddie said, voice low.

“Would you like us to go grab your son?” A nurse asked.

Eddie didn’t say anything and that scared Buck more than anything else had since Eddie had woken up.

“I’ll text Adri to bring him back in a few minutes,” Buck told the nurse.

She nodded and everyone shuffled out, leaving Buck and Eddie alone.

“Eddie, talk to me,” Buck urged.

Eddie took a shuddering breath, eyes clenched tight but tears still forcing their way out.

Buck lightly squeezed his shoulder. “Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out. I’ve got your back.”

Eddie made a small, pained sound in the back of his throat. He didn’t open his eyes as he spoke, and Buck had never heard his voice so small.

“I…I think I did it on purpose, Buck.”

Buck took a deep breath, barely managing to hang on to the self control that was keeping him together. “Okay. I’ve got your back, Eddie. Always. Are you saying you’re feeling suicidal?” He was kicking himself for not noticing it before. It wasn’t a new fear, ever since Eddie’s breakdown after learning about his military buddies it had been a possibility in the back of Buck’s mind. Buck should’ve picked up on it. Come out here to help Eddie. Take care of him.

“I don’t know,” Eddie said, finally opening his eyes and looking at Buck. He had the same terrified, helpless look he’d had that day Buck had broken into his room to find it destroyed. “I just…I’m so fucking tired. And I knew that curve in the road was coming up and I just…I just didn’t slow down.”

Buck nodded, his mind racing with ways to try and fix this. To patch it up and make it all better. There wasn’t a quick fix for this one, though, as much as he wanted there to be. Things had gone too far. Chris was miserable, Eddie was miserable and teetering on the edge of a cliff. If Buck didn’t want them both going over that edge, he’d have to do something drastic.

“Alright,” Buck said, making up his mind. “Alright. I’m stepping in hard right now, okay? And I need you to let me do that. I know how hard trust can be for you, especially when you’re feeling like this, but I need you to trust me.”

Eddie swallowed. “I always trust you.”

“I’m taking custody of Chris, for now,” Buck said, making sure to emphasize the “for now.” “I’m taking him back to LA, to your house, and I am moving in there with him. You are coming back to LA too as soon as you’re cleared to fly, and I am checking you into an inpatient mental health facility. When they’re ready to release you from there, you’re moving into my loft. Whenever Chris, and you, are ready, we will swap back, alright?”

Eddie whimpered, closing his eyes again. It broke Buck’s heart. Eddie didn’t deserve this. Chris didn’t deserve this. They were both such sweet, amazing people. It wasn’t fair that life had been so cruel to both of them. Yeah, Eddie had made his fair share of mistakes, especially when it came to Kim, but it never should’ve gotten this bad afterwards. Buck knew he was going to have to be stupidly careful when explaining it all to Chris so that Chris didn’t blame himself. The Diaz boys passing blame back and forth was not going to help anything.

“I’ve got you, Eddie,” Buck swore. “You and Chris. We’ll get through this.”

“I’m sorry,” Eddie said, voice cracking.

“I know you are,” Buck soothed. “I know. And I’m not mad at you, or upset. You and Chris are…are my family, okay? We’re all in this together. A team.”

——

Eddie had fallen back asleep shortly after that, tears still rolling down his face. Buck had taken a minute to gather himself, then summoned a nurse to let them know that Eddie needed to be on suicide watch. Even if this attempt had been passive and spur of the moment, Buck still wasn’t taking any chances. From there he called the one person he really, truly needed to hear from right now.

“Buck,” Bobby answered.

“He’s awake and there doesn’t seem to be any permanent damage,” Buck said by way of greeting.

“You don’t sound as happy about that as I would’ve expected,” Bobby said after a silent moment.

Buck took a shaky breath. “He…he did it on purpose, Bobby. Kind of. He didn’t plan it, but…he just. Didn’t turn.”

Bobby blew out a long breath on the other side of the line. “What did we miss?”

“Whatever it was, I think he missed it too right up until it happened,” Buck replied.

“Okay, so what do you need, Buck? What does he need?”

“I need FMLA leave,” Buck said. “As much as you can get me. I’m taking custody of Chris for now. I’ll get you the paperwork here in a minute. We’re coming back to LA, all three of us, and I’m getting Eddie into an inpatient mental health facility once he’s checked out from here.”

“Okay,” Bobby said. “If you’re okay with me pulling in the others on this, I’ll have Hen find and vet you a good place to take him, and I’ll work on getting a careflight arranged to get all three of you home.”

Buck felt himself sink back against the wall, more relieved than he could put into words that he had this family around him. “Thank you. I’m moving into his house with Chris, but there’s nothing there now. Maddie still has one of my credit cards from when she was avoiding Doug. Can you ask her and Chimney to use it to get furniture? I’m going to have Eddie’s sisters pack up his place and ship it all home, but that’ll take a bit.”

“Done,” Bobby said. “How’s Chris?”

Buck took a shaky breath. “He knows I’ve got custody of him right now, but I haven’t…told him about Eddie yet.”

“Are you going to?” Bobby asked, voice soft.

Buck wanted to say no. But he knew he couldn’t. “Yeah.”

“And Eddie’s parents?”

“Probably planning my murder,” Buck muttered.

“Right, I’ll let Athena know. Have her get in touch with CPS in both states and pre-flag any potential calls as custodial interference, just in case. Might not entirely eliminate the issue, but at least we’ll be out ahead of it.”

“Thank you, Bobby,” Buck said. “I have to go…go talk to Chris.”

“We’ll get through this, Buck,” Bobby replied, voice firm and steadying. Buck hoped he was right.

——

Buck would’ve given anything at all not to have the conversation he was about to have with Chris. To go back to yesterday when he thought telling Chris about the crash at all would be the hardest conversation they’d ever had. He knelt down in front of Chris with a smile he knew must looked forced.

“Your dad is going to be okay from the injuries,” Buck said. “He’ll be in the hospital for a little bit, but they expect him to make a full recovery.”

Adri and Chris both frowned at Buck’s very deliberate word choice. It was the same frown. Eddie’s frown.

“Can I see him?” Chris asked.

“In a minute,” Buck said. “But he’s back asleep for right now. He’s still really worn out.”

“Buck?” Adri said.

Buck took a deep breath, bracing himself for the next part. The impossible part. “Christopher…how much do you know about what depression is?”

Adri sucked in a sharp breath.

“It’s…when you’re really sad?” Chris said, looking between Adri and Buck.

“Kind of,” Buck said. “But it’s more than just sad. It’s…there’s chemicals in your brain that help make your body function, help you feel your emotions. And sometimes those chemicals can get out of balance and make the sadness a lot worse. It’s not anybody’s fault, it just happens sometimes.”

A realization dawned slowly on Chris’s face and Buck would’ve given anything to snatch it away. “Did…did my dad try to kill himself?”

Buck loathed that Chris even knew that was an option. He took Chris’s hands and squeezed them gently. “Kind of. He didn’t plan it, and I don’t think he really wanted to. He just made a bad decision in a split second because he was tired and scared and for that split second it felt like the only option.”

Tears welled in Chris’s eyes. Buck moved to the chair next to him, wrapping Chris up tight in a hug, rocking him gently, Chris’s head tucked under his own.

“I’m getting him help, Chris. Depression isn’t permanent, okay? Nothing is going to happen to your dad, I promise,” Buck assured. “I promise.”

——

Buck honestly didn’t remember much of the next week. He was just reacting, one piece at a time. Adri and Sophia had gone on the warpath against their parents, thankfully preventing them from trying to take Chris—or Eddie, at this point. Eddie hadn’t wanted to see Chris, which broke Chris’s heart. He had indeed started blaming himself, despite Buck’s best attempts. Buck had managed to smooth it over a little by having Chris write to Eddie, and Eddie write back. But it was the equivalent of putting a bandaid on an arterial bleed.

Hen had found a great facility, and Eddie had been flown home with Adri accompanying him while Buck and Chris took a regular flight. They shuffled into the familiar-unfamiliar house a little after one in the afternoon. To Maddie and Chim’s credit, it looked like they’d actually tried pretty hard to get stuff similar to what had been in Eddie’s house before. They’d even found an identical couch. But it was all still just a little bit off.

“Can I just go to my room?” Chris whispered from where he’d glued himself to the front door as soon as it was shut.

“Yeah, I’ll bring your bags for you to start unpacking,” Buck replied. Most of Chris’s stuff was still in El Paso, in the process of being packed by Sophia and her husband, but they’d flown back with two large suitcases of the most important stuff.

Chris nodded, edging towards his room like he wasn’t sure he wanted to be here at all. His first therapy appointment tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough, as far as Buck was concerned.

“I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me, okay?” Buck said.

Chris nodded, staring at his mostly empty room. There was a bed, desk, and some shelves. Even a couple new lego sets on the desk. But nothing else. Buck wanted to hover. Not let Chris out of his sight. But he knew it wouldn’t be welcome, so he retreated to the kitchen and called Maddie.

She picked up immediately. “Did you make it to the house?”

“Yeah. Thanks for getting my Jeep out of the impound and bringing it to the airport. I don’t think Chris could’ve really handled being around anyone else right now. Thanks for getting the house set up too.” Buck was so fucking exhausted, and talking to Maddie just really drove it home. He went and collapsed into a chair at the table (which was the wrong color).

“Of course,” Maddie said, loving force behind the words. “Whatever you need, always. We stocked the pantry too, and Bobby stocked the fridge. You two should be set for at least a week or two.”

“Thanks.” Buck didn’t really know what else to say. Mostly he’d just wanted to hear Maddie’s voice.

“Is Eddie at the facility yet?” Maddie asked.

“Yeah.” Buck laid his head down on the table, still half listening to the sounds of Chris on the other side of the house. “Adri got him checked in about an hour ago.”

That meant she’d probably be here soon. The facility was about an hour away. Maybe longer, if traffic was bad. She could only stay for a couple days, though, before she had to get back to school.

“That’s good,” Maddie says. “And how are you doing?”

Buck sighed. He hadn’t really had time to think about that. “I’ve got a therapy appointment tomorrow. Same time and place as Chris’s.”

“That’s good,” Maddie said. “Really good. I’m sure that’ll make it easier to manage. I’m glad you’re going.”

“I feel like I need to sleep for a month,” Buck admitted.

“I know,” Maddie soothed. “Hopefully, now that you and Chris are home, and Eddie’s where he needs to be to get help, the pressure will start to let up a little. And you know we’re all here for you. For all three of you.”

“I do,” Buck replied. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Buck let Maddie hang up so he didn’t have to lift his head off the table. He finally did, though, when he heard Chris coming into the kitchen.

“Hey buddy,” Buck said. “You hungry?”

Chris shrugged, coming to sit across from Buck. He didn’t say anything for awhile, before loudly proclaiming, “This sucks.”

It almost made Buck laugh, just how vehement his tone was and how sudden the exclamation was.

“Yeah, it does,” Buck said. “But as much as it sucks, I think things are moving in the right direction now.”

“And what happens if they start moving in the wrong direction again?” Chris shot back, clearly frustrated. “Why can’t we just…just be happy?”

Why indeed. Buck wasn’t sure what the right answer here was, because Chris was right. He had every right to feel like life kept turning around and lunging for his face, fangs bared.

“Remember how I said your dad has been through a lot in his life?” Buck asked. Chris gave a single, curt nod. “Until now, he’s been able to handle it. Not always well, but he’s still managed to push through. But this time he couldn’t. And he knows that. He knows things have gone way too far. Attempting suicide is a huge wakeup call, and I think he’s listening to that call.”

At least that was the impression Buck got when he talked to Eddie. Eddie was utterly miserable, to the point that it scared Buck. But he was also clearly terrified of the fact that he’d tried to kill himself, which gave Buck hope.

“Then why won’t he talk to me?” Chris said, voice cracking. He swatted at the tears forming in his eyes and Buck went around to sit next to him instead, pulling him into a hug.

“Because he loves you,” Buck said. “He loves you and he’s scared of hurting you again.”

“I want to see him, though,” Chris sniffed.

“Soon,” Buck said. “The place he’s in is good, really good. They’re going to take good care of him.”

——

Buck didn’t see Eddie again for over a week. Not because he didn’t want to. He desperately wanted to. But Chris had to be the priority right now. Buck had known that was the choice he was making by bringing Chris home, having to put him first and leave Eddie’s care in the hands of strangers. He didn’t regret it, but the lack of regret didn’t change the ache in his chest.

Finally, though, on Saturday, Chris took Denny up on his offer to go to the movies and the arcade. Buck was stupidly relieved that Chris was doing something that would get him out of the house other than therapy, and doing it willingly. It didn’t even occur to him until Karen left with the kids that Buck now had the whole day to himself. He dashed off a text to Karen about where he’d be, then climbed in the Jeep to go see Eddie.

The facility was up in the hills, on a sprawling lot with a great view of LA down below. Buck signed in and was directed out to one of the gardens, finding Eddie lazing in a hammock.

“How much effort did it take you to get into that with a broken arm and ribs?” Buck asked lightly as he walked up.

Eddie smirked but didn’t open his eyes. Most of his bandages were gone, aside from the cast and sling around his left arm, and there was still a hint of bruising around the left side of his face. He did look a lot better than when Buck had last seen him, though.

“Getting in was easy, but you might need to help me get out,” Eddie replied.

Buck chuckled, grabbing a chair from a nearby table and pulling it over next to the hammock. “Firefighter Buckley, to the rescue.”

“Where’s Chris?” Eddie asked, tone turning a little guilty. He still hadn’t opened his eyes.

“Out with Denny. Karen’s taking them to the movies and the arcade.”

Eddie visibly relaxed, but Buck could still see tension in his body.

“He really wants to see you, Eddie,” Buck said.

Eddie sighed, finally opening his eyes but not looking at Buck. “I know. And I want to see him. I just…” Eddie trailed off entirely, and Buck could tell it wasn’t just a pause to think.

“You can’t blame yourself,” Buck told him.

Eddie huffed. “Oh yes I can. It’s my fault. In a multitude of ways.”

“I didn’t say it wasn’t your fault,” Buck returned. This, finally, made Eddie look at him. “I said you can’t blame yourself. Those are two different things. You did mess up here, by dating Kim in the first place. The rest of it, you were doing your best. But if you want to get past all of this, if you want to actually fix it, wallowing in blame isn’t the way to go. Accept that it happened, accept that you made the mistake, and move forward.”

Eddie opened and closed his mouth a few times before he finally said, “They should hire you here.”

Buck snorted, managing a small smile. “I’d be climbing the walls in a week.”

“There are no walls,” Eddie deadpanned, gesturing around. “That’s why Hen picked it. Because of their ‘stellar reputation and novel methods compared to standard mental health facilities. They aren’t a prison, they’re a community.’”

Buck snickered. “You got that spiel from her too, huh?”

Eddie smiled. “Yeah. She called a couple days ago. We talked for awhile.”

“Good.” Buck had been talking to him on the phone every day, but they were usually short calls. Buck had to focus on Chris during the day, and Eddie was still pretty worn out and sleeping a fair amount so nighttime calls weren’t really an option.

“Buck I—” he paused, taking a deep breath. “Can you help me up. I want to have an actual talk, and I don’t think a hammock is actually the place for it.”

“Sure.” Buck stood and leaned in to steady the edge of the hammock as Eddie swung his legs out, then let Eddie wrap his good arm over Buck’s shoulders as Buck lifted him around the waist. Once Eddie was steady on his feet, he led the way over to the table Buck had stolen the chair from, Buck following with the chair.

“Can you, um…can you just let me get through all of this before you say anything?” Eddie requested, nervously fiddling with a leaf that had fallen onto the table from the canopy of the tree that stretched over them.

“Of course.”

Eddie took another long, slow deep breath. “I don’t think there’s a way I can adequately express how thankful I am for you right now, for everything you’ve done. For me, and for Christopher. But I am so, so fucking sorry for putting you in the position of having to do it. I promise, I will pay you back every cent, and I will make this up to you—”

Buck held up his hand. “Nope, sorry, I know you said no interrupting, but I’m stopping you right there anyway. You don’t owe me anything, Eddie, monetarily or otherwise.”

“Buck, I know damn well this isn’t the sort of place the VA covers. And you’re living in my damn house while still paying rent on your loft, and you’re taking care of Chris—”

Buck reached across the table and grabbed Eddie’s hand, squeezing firmly. “Carla will be insulted that you’re underestimating her.”

Eddie frowned. “She’s not in social work anymore.”

“She only switched careers six months ago,” Buck laughed. “And she loves you and Chris. The second she heard what was happening she practically broke down the door. She got the VA to partially cover your stay here, up to the cost of a regular facility on their list, and found a couple veteran’s charities that are covering the rest. Charities that are meant for situations exactly like this, so don’t go feeling guilty about accepting their help. As for the rest of the bills right now, in case you haven’t noticed, I am a pretty much perpetually single guy who makes a shit ton of hazard pay. My savings are fine. About the only things I ever spend money on are for spoiling Chris and Jee.” And Eddie, but Buck left that last part out.

Eddie sighed and Buck could see him warring with himself over feeling guilty anyway. “Still…I feel bad you’re caught in the middle of this, Buck. I know it can’t be easy for you.”

“Seeing you in so much pain, and Chris, isn’t easy, no,” Buck said. “Because I love you both to death. But choosing to help? That’s the easiest choice I’ve ever made, also because I love you both to death. And also…”

“Also what?” Eddie asked when Buck didn’t finish.

Buck chewed his lip. He hadn’t really meant to say anything. But Eddie was looking at him so imploringly now, and Buck figured it was only fair he bare his heart a little too. “Seeing that I could make this choice, to step in for you but especially for Chris, even when it was, and is, fucking exhausting and hard for me…I don’t know. It just kind of really drove home that my parents never stepped up for me like that, and that it was their choice not to, not my actions. I could never have changed anything about the way they treated me as a kid.”

“No, you couldn’t have,” Eddie said, squeezing Buck’s hand back. “You deserved better. And I’m stupidly grateful you’re making sure Chris has that better even though you didn’t get it. He’s lucky to have you. We both are.”

Buck smiled, and the conversation lightened after that. They wandered from topic to topic, sports and remembering old calls and the book Buck had been reading (a memoir from a transgender wildland firefighter). It felt almost like normal, aside from the fact they were sitting in a mental health facility. Buck had thought leaving would be hard, but it wasn’t as bad as he’d expected. He felt a lot better having seen the place, seen how well Eddie was being taken care of. There was a long way to go, but they were on the right path.

——

It took another week for Eddie to finally be willing to see Chris. They’d still been exchanging letters (well, emails) constantly and as far as Buck could tell, it was helping. Maybe more than talking, actually. Writing made it easier for both of them to get everything out, to think through their words.

“Do you want me there?” Buck asked as they wound up the road to the facility.

Chris nodded. “Yes please.”

Buck parked and waited for Chris to climb down and get situated with his crutches, then led the way inside. Eddie was waiting for them out on a little, private patio, and the second Buck saw him he could see how wound up Eddie was. There was tension in every line of his body, his bottom lip snagged between his teeth.

“Breathe,” Buck mouthed the second he caught Eddie’s eye.

Eddie did, taking a deep inhale and releasing it slowly. “Hey, Christopher.”

Chris was standing in the doorway, not going over to the table as he eyed his dad. Buck stood behind him, one hand light on his shoulder. Buck didn’t know the contents of most of the emails they exchanged, but he knew they’d covered a lot of the important stuff. Kim. Chris leaving to Texas. Eddie’s crash. None of it was water under the bridge, probably wouldn’t be for awhile yet, if ever. But they were talking about it and that was something.

“Thanks,” Chris said finally.

Eddie tilted his head. “For what?”

“For making sure Buck could take me in,” Chris said. “For…making him my dad too.”

All the air left Buck’s lungs like he’d just been punched in the chest, and he had to actually reach out and steady himself on the doorway. Had Chris actually just…?

Eddie’s eyes had gone wide too, but he managed to reel back control quicker than Buck did, smiling at Chris. “Let’s be honest, he’s been your other dad long before this.”

Buck was going to pass out.

“I think you might need to let Buck come sit down, buddy,” Eddie chuckled.

Chris glanced back, eyebrows raised.

“I love you, Christopher,” Buck managed, tugging Chris into a tight hug. “It…it means a lot to me that you’d say that.”

Chris returned the hug, crutches clacking on the wall behind them. “I love you too, Buck.”

The two of them finally made their way over to the table, sitting across from Eddie.

“How long are you going to be here?” Chris asked.

“I’m not sure yet,” Eddie told him. “But I’m feeling a lot better already.”

“Are you saying that just to make me feel better?” Chris asked.

Eddie shook his head. “No, I mean it. This place has been really good for me. Helped me look at a lot of things in a different light.”

The conversation froze a bit there, neither Chris nor Eddie seeming to know what to say next.

Buck lightly bumped his shoulder into Christopher’s. “Have you told him about the new elective you signed up for?”

Chris immediately brightened. “No! Dad, they have a Lego robotics class for the last quarter!”

Eddie brightened too, and Buck leaned back to just watch them talk. Upon learning about the class, Chris had immediately signed up and then started watching every Youtube video he could find about the competitions and builds and everything else. Buck got the distinct impression that this was an obsession that was going to last far beyond the class, figuring there’d been some long drives to competitions in their future. He couldn’t wait, honestly.

——

“So, no more chess club then?” Eddie asked when Buck called later that night. Eddie was having an easier time staying awake these days, so the before bed calls had become routine.

“No, apparently your father signed him up for that,” Buck replied as he shifted the laundry.

“Knew it sounded weird for him,” Eddie muttered.

Eddie hadn’t talked to his parents once since all of this had happened, but he had written them a letter. He’d read parts of it to Buck before sending it, wanting to hash out those portions to make sure he was expressing himself the way he wanted to. The jist of it was that Eddie would always love them in a way, but he’d realized that their actions and their treatment of him were a big part of what had pushed him over the edge, so he was cutting them off. Buck was sorry that Eddie had been forced to do it, but proud of him too.

“In the past now,” Buck said.

“Yeah. So. How are you doing with the whole ‘dad’ comment,” Eddie asked, teasing sweetness in the words.

Buck let out a breathless little laugh. Truthfully, it had been playing on a loop in his head all day. He walked down the hall, glancing in at Chris as he walked by his open room. The open door was good progress. He’d mostly been keeping it shut. All of his stuff, and Eddie’s stuff, had arrived from Texas finally, so it really looked like Chris’s room again. His knicknacks, his books, his art. His gaming headphones that were, as usual, glued to his head. Eddie’s stuff was still in boxes for now, and Buck was planning on taking it over to the loft when he found time (and when Bobby wasn’t busy and could bring his truck by to help).

“It caught me off guard a little,” Buck admitted, going to the main bedroom and flopping back on the bed. He’d done his best to set up the room entirely different from the way Eddie did, in an attempt to reduce that not quite right feeling of the rest of the house. It hadn’t really worked, though. It still felt like Eddie’s room. “If you’re not okay with it, I can talk to him.”

“Why wouldn’t I be okay with it?” Eddie said, tone mystified. “You heard me. You’ve been his other dad for a long damn time. Probably would’ve done us all a lot of good if we’d realized that sooner, but at least we know now.”

Buck hummed. Over the last few weeks, he’d barely let himself think about his feelings for Eddie at all. They just didn’t fit among everything else. But Chris calling him dad…it had brought it all back up. Buck wanted a permanent place in their lives so bad it made him want to cry. But he didn’t know how the hell he was supposed to ask for that now without it feeling out of place, especially when Eddie wasn’t likely to feel the same.

At one point, when he’d been dating Tommy, Buck had fallen down the rabbithole of different sexualities. He’d known a fair amount of them already, he was in LA and best friends with Hen, after all. But that was more random, objective knowledge. He’d never really thought of any of them in reference to himself. So he’d gone exploring. Technically, bisexuality probably fit him best. But that still hadn’t felt quite right either. It felt too simple, somehow, to describe the explosion of realizations he’d had. How could one little word wrap up all that? So he’d settled on just not putting a term to himself at all.

But then that had led to exploring the differences between romantic attraction and sexual attraction, which made his head spin even more. He’d never thought of them as two separate things before. Now, all of that was spiraling around in his head with thoughts about Eddie. He was romantically and sexually attracted to Eddie, he knew that much. (He did not know, however, how it had taken him so damn long to realize.) The part of him that desperately wanted anything he could get with Eddie thought that maybe he could talk Eddie around to being platonic life partners of some sort. Buck was fed up with dating at this point, especially now that he knew how he felt about Eddie, and Eddie had declared he was never going to date again. They could just…make one of those jokey “if we’re not married by forty” pacts, and enjoy things as they were.

“You fall asleep on me?” Eddie said.

“No, sorry,” Buck said, focus coming back to the ceiling above him. “Just got lost in my head a bit.”

“Anything interesting going on in there tonight?” Eddie asked.

Buck huffed out a laugh he hoped didn’t sound nervous. “Nah.”

There was a pause. “Liar.”

“Says who?”

“Your best friend who can read you like a book. What’s up, Buck?” Eddie pressed. It was a gentle press, though. The kind that made it clear Eddie would back off if Buck really didn’t want to answer.

“Just…thinking about the future a little, I guess,” Buck said.

Eddie hummed. “Me too.”

“What’s yours look like?” Buck asked, slight nerves settling in his stomach as the words left his mouth.

Eddie didn’t answer for awhile. “Depends on a lot of things, I guess.”

“Well, lets say all those things go right,” Buck said. “What does it look like? What are you aiming for?”

Again, there was a long pause. “I want a fresh start. Not, like, leaving LA or anything. But maybe a new house. Something a little bigger now that I’ve got a gangly teenager knocking into everything.”

Buck laughed. “Yeah. Poor guy does not know what to do with how long his limbs suddenly are.”

Eddie chuckled. “I’ve noticed. But yeah. New house, I think. And…”

“And?”

Buck heard Eddie puff out a long breath on the other end of the line.

“I don’t really know how to…say the next part without it feeling like I’m asking for too much after everything,” Eddie admitted.

A wry smile twisted Buck’s lips. “What, do you think you’re going to jinx it or something?

Eddie groaned. “Oh my god, I’m hanging up on you.”

Buck snickered, unsurprised when the line didn’t disconnect.

“Fine, you fucking menace,” Eddie groused. “When I picture my future after all of this, when I picture knitting my life back together, you’re there. You’re there in the damn kitchen, you’re sprawled out on the couch, you’re sitting next to me at Christopher’s graduation, you’re…you’re…” Eddie trailed off, his voice so quiet Buck almost didn’t hear the final words. “You’re waking up next to me in bed.”

Neither of them said anything, but Buck could still hear Eddie breathing on the other end of the line, and he assumed Eddie could still hear his. Buck half thought he must’ve fallen asleep and landed in a dream. Even reached out to pinch himself. It felt real, the pain tingling in a way that wasn’t just a memory of what pain was supposed to feel like.

“What else?” Buck managed to finally croak out. “What else am I doing in this hypothetical future?”

Eddie, voice still quiet, answered; “Kissing me good morning. Sleeping with your head on my chest. Letting me spoil you, because you deserve to have someone care about you as much as you care about everyone else.”

A few tears escaped Buck’s eyes, but for the first time in awhile they were happy ones. “My turn.”

Eddie inhaled sharply on the other end of the line.

“In this hypothetical future, I’m taking you out on weekly date nights. There will be themes. We will get dressed up. Like when we went out and played poker. I’m cooking you and Chris breakfast every morning. I’m stealing the warm spot in the bed when you get up to go to the bathroom. I’m teaming up with Chris to automate the entire house with Lego robots, despite your distrust of technology.”

Eddie laughed, the sound a little wet, like he was crying too. “I’ll allow the robots, but only because you two are adorable when you’re working together, even if you’re teaming up against me.”

Buck laughed to. “So…we know what we’re aiming for, now.”

“We know what we’re aiming for now,” Eddie agreed. “But I’m exhausted. I need to get some sleep.”

“Of course,” Buck said. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight, Eddie.”

“Actually, um…”

“What?”

“Can we maybe just…leave the phones on for a bit,” Eddie asked.

Buck smiled. “Yeah.”

——

Chris was back in school two days later, so Buck and Eddie struck up a new routine. Buck would drop Chris off at school in the morning, then go meet Eddie at the facility and they’d go running on the trails around it. The runs were pretty light, Eddie was still getting back into the rhythm and his arm was still healing. Buck loved it, even though they’d only done it a few times so far.

“How’s the head?” Buck asked when they flopped onto a bench for a break after their first mile.

“Doing good,” Eddie said, taking a swig from his waterbottle. “Some headaches, but still no seizures which is a great sign. I think doing these morning runs has been helping.”

“Good.” Buck took a swig from his own waterbottle. “Did Chris tell you about our little adventure when he got home from school yesterday?”

Eddie turned to him with raised eyebrows, which Buck took as a no.

“You are now missing half a back porch,” Buck replied. “And also Chris might have a dog.”

“I need so much more context,” Eddie said.

Buck chuckled. “Chris came home from school and went straight to the kitchen for food, but he was only in there about a minute before he came and dragged me in with him, telling me to listen. There was a whining coming from somewhere. Eventually we found a puppy under the porch. But she was very far under the porch and did not want to come out. Drastic measures involving a crowbar were taken.”

“Keep going,” Eddie pressed, an amused smile on his face.

“She’s about ten weeks, according to the vet, and has a broken leg. Some kind of heeler mix, I think, but she’s at that puppy stage where they’re more round than anything else, so its hard to tell for sure. She didn’t have a chip. Normally, the shelter would have to hold her for a week to see if anyone claimed her, but they’re full so Chris talked me into fostering her at home. We put fliers up in the neighborhood and posted on the neighborhood pages, but no one has claimed her yet. If someone does, I think I might have to pay them off to let us keep her.”

Eddie laughed, settling a little closer to Buck on the bench. They hadn’t talked again about what they’d said almost a week earlier now, but there was a level of comfort between them that had been missing for a long time. Or maybe it was entirely new. Either way, Buck couldn’t get enough of it, leaning into Eddie.

“Does she have a name yet?” Eddie asked.

“The shelter had a big bowl full of slips of paper to name stray dogs. They called her Cornbread. I told Chris he could change it if we keep her.”

“And her leg, is it going to be alright?”

“Yeah, they said its a clean break in her left humerus. They set it and casted it. Hen’s off today, so I took Cornbread over to her house for supervision. She’ll need another x-ray in a couple days to make sure its healing right, but she should be fine.”

Eddie threw his head back and laughed, holding up his left arm that was still casted. “Oh good, I match my kid’s dog.”

Buck burst out laughing too. “Oh my god, I didn’t even realize that.”

They settled into a comfortable silence, just enjoying the view and the warm sun on their shoulders.

“So, work,” Eddie said. “You going to go back soon?”

Buck shrugged. “Haven’t decided yet. Just playing it by ear. I might start covering a few shifts if Bobby needs the hands, but for now that’s it.” Buck stopped to smack Eddie in the leg. “Close your damn mouth and do not utter the words ‘I’m sorry.’”

Eddie rolled his eyes but closed his mouth. “Are you sure we’re not already married?”

Buck tilted his head. “Is that…something you’d want? We didn’t really talk about that part. We don’t have to now, if you don’t want to, I just—”

“Yes,” Eddie interrupted.

Buck felt himself blushing, and grinning so wide it almost hurt. “Oh. Okay.”

Eddie grinned back. “Okay.”

——

Cornbread did not get claimed, and was renamed to Ada, after Ada Lovelace. This happened to occur on the same day Eddie was released from the facility, resulting in him deadpanning that he had even more in common with the dog now because they’d been freed from the shelter on the same day. Buck had broken down laughing on the floor of the loft, where he’d been helping Eddie unpack while Chris was at school. They were having family dinner there later. Ada had immediately come over and thrown herself on his face, deciding that if he was on the floor, that meant it was time to play. Eddie had just leaned against the table, filming and watching with a lopsided grin as Buck lost his battle against a fifteen pound dog that really wanted to lick him in the mouth.

“Blech,” Buck said, wiping his mouth on his shoulder as he held Ada at bay while he sat up.

“That’s going in the group chat,” Eddie said. Buck’s phone pinged immediately, proof that Eddie had already made good on the statement. “Go brush your teeth, cowboy.”

“What, you don’t want to kiss dog slobber?” Buck grinned.

Eddie shook his head. “No, no I do not.”

If they’d actually kissed at all yet, Buck probably would’ve chased Eddie around until he could plant a wet kiss on his cheek. But they hadn’t kissed yet. There was one more piece that had to fall into place before they decided if they were really going to try for a relationship or not, and that hadn’t happened yet. So Buck obediently got up, stepped over the pillows that were preventing Ada from going up the stairs (with her cast it was too dangerous) and went and brushed his teeth.

Several hours later, he went and retrieved Chris from school.

“How’d your science test go?” Buck asked once Chris was buckled in.

“I think it went good. There were a couple questions I’m not sure about, though.”

“Good job, either way,” Buck told him. “You ready for dinner tonight?”

Chris nodded, no hesitation at all. He and Eddie had been doing really good with one another, and it always made Buck smile when he noticed the little things that proved it.

Buck parked in his usual spot, following Chris to the elevator and down the hall. Ada went nuts when she saw him, but thankfully she was a dog who just went nuts by spinning in circles rather than barking. Her cast tripped her up a lot, turning the circles more into tumbles, but it didn’t slow her down at all. Chris sat down in front of her, letting her take over his lap as she continued to wiggle with his arms around her. They probably needed to start working on better training sooner rather than later, but that wasn’t a conversation for today.

“How was school, bud?” Eddie asked, sitting down across from them. Ada, now delighted by the novelty of having two people on the floor with her, flopped onto the floor and wiggled on her back from one to the other. Buck had never felt more at peace than he did watching Chris and Eddie talk, both of them petting Ada and laughing while he got dinner started.

Chris and Eddie migrated to the couch eventually, pulling up one of their favorite games and playing until it was time for dinner. Ada had crawled up between them and, somehow, fallen asleep. Buck watched as Eddie put a finger to his lips with a grin, holding out a hand to help Chris up slowly. They both snuck dramatically out of the livingroom, constantly glancing back to make sure they hadn’t woken Ada.

“Couple of spies in here tonight,” Buck chuckled, setting the baked Mac’n’cheese on the table.

Dinner was just as light and happy as Buck had hoped, even with the slightly tense glances he and Eddie kept sending one another.

“So, Christopher,” Eddie said, once he’d cleared away the plates and come back to sit down.

Chris, sensing the change, looked between Buck and Eddie questioningly, and a little apprehensively.

“No bad news,” Buck assured quickly. “Your dad just has something he wants to ask you.”

Buck lightly wrapped his ankle around Eddie’s for support, letting Eddie lead things from here.

Eddie took a deep breath. “I know a lot has happened over the last year, and especially the last few months. Whatever your answer to this is, I understand.” He glanced at Buck. “Both of us understand.”

“Yeah,” Buck murmured. It was impossibly hard not to reach out and hold Eddie’s hand right now, but he still pulled it off somehow.

Now Chris just looked suspicious.

“How would you feel—” Eddie took another deep breath. “How would you feel if Buck and I started dating?”

“Oh.” Chris sagged back against his chair, but he was smiling. “All that buildup for something you should’ve done five years ago? Really?”

Eddie spluttered. Buck laughed.

“Oh, we really have a teenager.” Buck wiped the tears out of the corners of his eyes, finally reaching out to take Eddie’s hand.

“You’re okay with it then?” Eddie asked. “Seriously, if you’re not, its okay.”

“Why would I not be okay with my dads dating?” Chris replied. “You two are weird enough when you’re not dating. May as well be weird together.”

“I’m putting that in our eventual wedding vows,” Buck said as Eddie buried his face into his arms to laugh.

“And when will that be?” Chris asked, clearly enjoying himself. “Next week?”

“Not if you keep making your dad laugh so hard he stops breathing,” Buck returned, trying and failing not to laugh himself.

Eddie managed to finally come up for air, pulling Chris into a hug and kissing the top of his head. “I love you, mijo.”

Chris hugged him back. “I love you too, Dad.”

——

Chris and Buck said their goodbyes shortly after, Chris having homework to do that he need stuff at home for. But when Buck tried to follow him out the door he earned a crutch to the ankle and fingers wiggling out for keys.

“What, are you going to drive yourself home and leave me here?” Buck asked.

“No, I’m going to go sit in the Jeep while you say goodbye to Dad,” Chris said, hand still held out.

Buck blushed but dropped his keys into Chris’s outstretched palm. “I’ll bring Ada down with me.”

Chris nodded, a little smirk on his face as he set off down the hall. Buck turned around in the doorway to see Eddie standing there blushing even harder than he was.

“If we’re not careful, I think he’s going to start planning the wedding for us,” Buck said to lighten the mood.

Eddie laughed, shoulders relaxing. “It’ll be like Hen and Karen’s second one. We’ll just show up one day and get told its our wedding day.”

Buck laughed too. He could picture it so clearly. “We should probably kiss first, ya know. At least once. Wouldn’t want to look unpracticed on the big day.”

Eddie grinned, stepping forward and reaching out to hook his fingers into Buck’s beltloops, tugging him closer. “Oh yeah?”

Buck smiled. “Yeah.”

“Well then.” Eddie leaned in, brushing his nose against Buck’s, finally closing the last of the gap between them as Buck draped his arms over Eddie’s shoulders. Buck melted right into Eddie, the kiss warm and safe and strangely familiar despite it being their first time. But it was Eddie, of course it was familiar. Everything about him was familiar.

Eddie’s fingers slipped out of Buck’s beltloops, arms going to circle Buck’s waist as the kiss deepened. Not just a careful first press of lips anymore, but an actual exploration. Buck found himself gasping as Eddie trailed more kisses down along his jaw, then up his cheek, ending with a kiss right over his birthmark.

“I love you,” Eddie breathed against Buck’s skin, lips still ghosting over the rosey patches of color.

“I love you too,” Buck returned.

“Marry me,” Eddie said, just as quiet.

Buck pulled back just a little, just enough to look Eddie in the eyes, knowing his own must be wide. “…what?”

Eddie bit his lip. “Not…right now or anything. But I just…god, I love you Evan Buckley. We’ve already seen everything the other has to offer, we’ve been through the best things and the worst things and we know how we each handle them. So why wait if that’s what we both want? If…it is what we both want, I mean.”

Buck immediately leaned in to kiss away the nervous frown Eddie was now sporting. “I want it.”

Eddie’s whole face lit up. “Really?”

Buck nodded, feeling like he was flying. “Really.”

“Well then. I don’t have a ring, but I’m still going to do this right,” Eddie said. He took a step back, twining his hands with Buck’s as Buck’s heart raced. Eddie kept his eyes locked on Buck’s the whole way down until he was on one knee in front of him. “Evan Buckley, you are one of the best fucking things to have ever happened to me, and to my son. I can’t imagine my life without you, and I want to live the rest of it with you. So, Buck, will you marry me?”

Tears were pouring down Buck’s face, and he could barely stop smiling enough to get the words out. “Yes, Eddie Diaz, I will marry you.”

Eddie pulled Buck’s left hand up to his face, kissing the spot where the ring would go, before standing back up and wrapping his hands around Buck’s face, pulling him in for another kiss. He was crying too, Buck realized. But his tears were just as happy as Buck’s. The kissing quickly gave way to just holding onto one another tightly, heads tucked onto one another’s shoulders.

“I’m buying you a ring tomorrow,” Eddie mumbled into Buck’s neck.

“I’m buying you a ring tomorrow,” Buck returned. “But I’ve gotta go get our kid home to do his homework.”

Eddie pulled away with a nod, stopping halfway to press another quick kiss to Buck’s lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

——

“Hang on a second Buckley, get your ass back here,” Hen called as Buck tried to scoot around her to get out of the locker room.

“What?” Buck said innocently, tucking his hand behind his back. It was more fun to draw this out.

“Give me your hand right now,” she said, reaching out for it.

“What did you do, hurt yourself?” Chimney asked, clearly not having spotted what Hen did. Maddie knew, but Buck had asked her not to tell Chimney since Buck was going in to cover a shift and wanted to tell everyone on the crew in person.

“No,” Buck said, backing out of the room as Hen stalked after him. “But I fear I am about to experience an injury anyway.”

“You sure are if you don’t show me what’s on your hand right the hell now,” Hen said.

Bobby came out of his office looking confused but amused, and Ravi watched warily from the bumper of the engine where he’d been checking the hoses. Chimney had followed Hen, and now they were all standing around staring at Buck, along with a handful of other crew members. Buck finally relented and pulled his hand out from behind his back, revealing the simple black silicone ring with a stamped pattern of stars on his left ring finger. He also reached down his shirt to pull out the solid metal band that now hung on a chain around his neck.

“Technically, the one on my finger right now is from Chris asking me to formally adopt him,” Buck said. “The one on the chain is my engagement ring.”

Everyone melted, mumbling how sweet that was. Buck couldn’t blame them. The ring from Eddie he had expected. The ring from Chris had made him cry. Now he had something from both his boys, and they each had something from him. A ring for Eddie, and a bracelet for Chris.

Hugs were passed around until it was just Buck, Bobby, Hen, and Chim standing there.

“I’m happy for you,” Bobby said, his tone a little cautious.

“But it’s a little fast, given the circumstances?” Buck filled in.

All three of them nodded at him.

“I know,” Buck said. “We know. And that’s why we’re not actually getting married for at least a year. But we just didn’t really see the point in waiting to say that we wanted to.”

Bobby clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Fair enough. I’m thrilled for you two. You three. Will there be an engagement party?”

“Yes,” Buck said, bouncing happily in place. “But that depends on when your baby shower is.” Buck pointed at Chimney.

“We were waiting for Maddie’s work schedule for next month to come out, which it did yesterday, so we’re thinking the tenth,” Chimney supplied. “Should know by tomorrow night when we have a chance to sit down and actually plan.”

“Perfect. Once you have your date, we’ll set ours,” Buck told everyone.

“Any idea when you’re going to come back full time?” Bobby asked. “No pressure, just curious.”

“Mmmm, probably soon,” Buck said. “Next month would probably be good, honestly.”

“Well, come with me and lets take a look at the schedule really quick. It might end up being more part time for the first couple weeks, unless people want you for more covers.” Bobby waved him towards the office.

Buck followed, still feeling like he was on cloud nine. “That’s fine.”

Bobby closed the door behind Buck, going around to sit on his side of the desk while Buck flopped into one of the other chairs.

“I really am happy for you two,” Bobby said, smiling fondly. “How are Eddie and Chris doing?”

“They’re great,” Buck said. “We’re having dinner together almost every night, usually at the loft. Eddie’s still got therapy three times a week, but getting back into the swing of working out seems to be helping just as much. Chris starts his Lego robotics class soon and it’s all he can talk about.”

“Sounds like things are falling back into place,” Bobby said.

Buck nodded. “They are.”

“But Eddie’s still at the loft?”

“For now,” Buck explained. “But Chris has slept over there a couple times, and Eddie has stayed the house a couple times. Progress is being made, but not rushed.”

“Proud of you, kid,” Bobby told him, making Buck feel all warm and fuzzy. “You’ve grown up a hell of a lot.”

“Thanks. That means a lot from you,” Buck said. Part of his own therapy was pushing himself to get better at actually vocalizing his feelings, especially about what other people meant to him. The fear of rejection was still there, but he was getting better at it.

“Well, speaking of progress—” Bobby reached into a drawer and pulled out a manilla folder, plopping it down on the desk. “This is for Eddie. There’s three applications in there, one for dispatch—actual dispatch, one for a permanent teaching position at the academy, and one for here. If he doesn’t want any of them, that’s fine too. I just wanted to make sure he’s got options when he’s ready to go back to work.”

“He could come back here?” Buck said, perking up. Just the other night, when Eddie had spent his first night at the house, they’d talked about work. Eddie had said how much he missed it. Missed the familiar rhythms and structures, missed helping people.

“As long as he’s got the health clearance and the psych clearance, there’s no reason I can see why not,” Bobby said.

“Even though we’re together?” Buck clarified.

“Oh.” Bobby laughed, turning around and pulling out a different drawer, rifling through it until he pulled out a couple pieces of paper stapled together and slid them into the file too. “There, that’s the relationship disclosure paperwork. LAFD policy is that relationships within the firehouse are up to the captain’s discretion as long as neither party has a supervisory relationship over the other. If either of you ever end up as temporary captain for any reason, we’d have to move the other to a different shift until that changed, but that’s the only issue I can foresee.”

Buck couldn’t help how much he was wiggling in his seat now. “Temporary Captain, huh?”

Bobby lovingly rolled his eyes. “Athena and I do have a big vacation planned for later this year. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

Buck couldn’t help himself as he launched out of the chair, leaning across the desk to pull Bobby into a hug. “Certainly hope it goes better than your last one.”

Bobby patted him on the back with a laugh. “Me too, kid, me too.”

One Year Later

“There’s nothing out here, Cap,” Eddie said, forehead pressed against the window of the engine as they trundled through the dark hills west of the city.

“Did you know one of the guys who founded the Forest Service was married to a ghost for, like, a significant amount of time?” Buck said. “He wrote her letters, had dinner with her every night, refused to be with anyone else. They’d been together before she died, but never had the chance to actually get married.”

“That’s the story you’re going to focus on when we’re getting married in two days?” Eddie laughed.

“Well, like I said, he helped found the Forest Service, which was done, partially, to fight wildfires,” Buck returned. “And we’re looking for a wildfire, ergo, it connects.”

“Uh huh,” Eddie chuckled. “Sure it does, mi vida.”

Buck stuck his tongue out at him.

“I swear, if it’s fucking sheep again,” Ravi said, his forehead pressed to the window on the other side.

Eddie’s face screwed up. “Sheep?”

“Oh my god!” Buck said, perking up. “I totally forgot to tell you about that.”

He launched into the story, delighting at how much Eddie laughed. He laughed so much easier these days. And not just the quiet, held in laughter he used to do most of the time. Real, full on laughter. It made Buck’s heart sing every time. Despite everything, they’d made it through, and the future was as bright as they’d imagined.