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Another day, they thought quietly before getting out of their bed.
Kris gazed out the window, the sun was brighter than they wanted it to be. It kind of pissed them off. And honestly? Everything pisses them off these days.
After rolling out of bed and falling to the ground like usual, they end up facing the brighter side of the room. Asriel's side. Trophies... Stars... Diplomas... And CDs under the bed, it's rather easy to see when they're lying on the ground. It made them feel worse. They missed Asriel. They also envied Asriel because he could actually achieve something while looking like he did it in his sleep. They couldn't do anything good, could they?
"Kris? Are you awake, my child?" Upon hearing their mother's voice behind the door, they find the small strength to actually sit up and eventually stand up. Kris yawned, walking up to the door and opening it.
Toriel seemed relieved. Perhaps they were relieved Kris actually woke up early today. Kris wouldn't tell her that they didn't sleep today. After a smile, she gently raised her hand and fixed Kris' hair. "I'm glad you're awake. Make sure to wash up before breakfast, okay?" She said, taking her hand away.
Kris nodded quietly, walking past her down the stairs.
The bathroom seemed like the only place they could actually hate but also love. Their expression was visible since their hair was out of place. They frowned at the sight of their eyes, taking a brush and fixing their hair to cover up their eyes.
One thing they did good was probably good posture. It was mainly so that they could see their arms and hands better when their eyes moved down. And make them seem less unapproachable. Though, being a human didn't really improve that either.
Even though they were tempted to, they didn't cut their arms this morning. It was a quick realization that sleeping through the lessons was painful when they rested on their arms. Instead, they washed their hand and their cheeks, it was more effort than usual.
Breakfast went...slow... Toriel mainly read a book while eating. Kris stared at their plate, just playing with their food enough to make it seem like they ate. They could always eat when they were really itching for it. Or just eat moss. It's surprisingly good and doesn't feel like a meal forced to make them feel guilty for not eating.
Ride to school, same as always. They slid down their seat enough not to be seen by the townsfolk, this one became a habit as well. Somehow, they could also feel Toriel's eyes on them once in a while. That small, pitying look. Nothing more. It might magically make Kris happy and extroverted overnight. Just like Asriel.
When she held their hand and led them inside the school, they were once again grateful they were smart enough not to cut on their wrists. It'd be visible every time Toriel would hold their hand. Even though they still feel the pain on their arms when Toriel hugs them one last time before classes, it's worth it to feel the comfort.
Being early for once didn't make them socialize. Even when Noelle tried to say good morning to them, Kris would rather not talk right now. They just fell asleep easier and before class even started. Plus, Susie wasn't there yet. Which was a lot better.
Of course, they still woke up to Susie at the end of the day. Can they call it bullying when they genuinely don't care much about what she does? They can honestly agree to everything she says. "Nobody would care if you died" or "Your poor mother would be better off without you"? She was right in every single one of them, in Kris' opinion. If there were an easier way to disappear, Kris would take that.
When Susie gets bored and leaves, Kris tends to count to 10 before finally getting out of their seat. Outside the classroom is either Noelle making an excuse about being there even though Kris wouldn't ask for an explanation or nobody in particular.
They would hear Alphys talking to their mother in the other classroom, but it really didn't bother them anymore to know what they talked about. Alphys would make up something about Kris being brilliant and all before moving on. They wouldn't really expect much from the teacher who can't really do something about Susie or any other person (mainly Berdly) picking up on them.
Even though Toriel leaves them alone after school hours, they don't really do anything other than going to QC's Diner and sitting on their usual seat without ordering.
Afterwards, they'd find their dad in the middle of the town who'd just give them a bouquet of flowers to give their mom. They already knew where this was going. Carrying the flowers in their arms, people would already whisper about the two's divorce like it had happened yesterday or something. It made them want to run far off before somebody else could see them.
Noelle probably forgot her keys again. Kris barely acknowledged her as they only heard her murmur to herself frantically near the Holiday Gate. They couldn't really see much thanks to their hair but memorized the roads enough to walk without problem.
Back home, nobody was in the house. They left the flowers on the table and read the note on Chariel. At church. Something about Father Alvin making preparations and needing help. They threw the note away into the trash can, which still smelled like flowers.
Grabbing the first aid kit from the bathroom and some paper towels from the kitchen, Kris walked back to their room.
It was the same as always, sitting on the edge of their bed while making small cuts on their arm. Or simply retracing the old ones. The blood always fell down to the ground but they were too lazy to ever actually clean it. They mainly just dragged the birdcage so it would cover up the blood stain.
Making sure to clean the rest of the blood on their arms with the paper towels, they felt like they were getting the hang of it since they didn't really need the first aid kit this time.
Covering up their arms once more, they walked to their computer. Either the calendar was glitching, or the days were passing too slowly. Asriel will come soon, people (Toriel and Asriel) always said. They wondered how soon that actually was.
Walking back down the stairs, they opened the fridge to see if there was anything edible. There was. Just not things Kris would eat now.
Grabbing a flower from the bouquet, they plopped it into their mouth and ate it. Thanks to their knowledge about flowers they learned from experience, they knew these weren't poisonous or lethal. Not that they wouldn't eat a poisonous one.
They still had time to kill. Kris wasn't exactly talented in anything much, that's one thing they knew. But they could play the piano in the end. And they didn't want to be stuck in the computer games about pianos.
Dreading the outside, they managed to step out of the house towards the hospital.
They knew Toriel wouldn't exactly like it if they didn't at least visit Rudolph but she didn't need to know what Kris did in their free time.
Only while playing the piano did they move their bangs away. The only time that the only one looking back at them would just be the piano. Perhaps the only likable thing about them is playing the piano. As most people really enjoy them playing. They did hope Rudolph would recover soon but they didn't exactly want to talk with him. Perhaps, the piano's melody would reach him.
When they finished playing, they moved their bangs back to cover their eyes. They didn't hear the pleased hum from the monster working there, that was enough socializing for them.
Back home, all they did was take a nap in the living room until Toriel came back to wake them up so they could sleep in their bed. It would usually be near nighttime that Toriel would come back. Saying something about visiting a few people before coming back home. Kris ate up those lies when she said them for the first time. But now it has become old.
Walking back to their room, Kris doesn't sleep at first. They lie on Asriel's bed and look at their phone. Calling him just to fall to voicemail once again. Just like every other day. It's funny. They heard Toriel and Asgore calling Asriel and actually receiving an answer. It feels worse like this. He doesn't even call them back. Did they do something? They don't even know what they did wrong. Nobody tells them when they do something wrong. They just look at them in pity and stay quiet. They do actually want to look at what that book Toriel kept getting from the librarby wrote about humans. But they'd rather kill themselves than see Berdly again there, reminding them about the book Asriel 'forgot' to give back and just making their day worse with each word.
After four tries of calling and not receiving an answer, they go back to their bed. And act like they're sleeping for a good amount of time until Toriel believes they do.
While Toriel finally fell asleep, they climb out of the window. Even though slipping and falling did hurt, they couldn't care less about that. They went between the trees and climbed one up, swatting away the spiders on there and also getting bitten by one of them. Great.
Wishing that the shooting star would pass the days easily, they climbed down and went back to the house. The fact that their arms didn't give out while climbing back to their room was enough for them. Actually trying to sleep was worse. They couldn't sleep. Thanks to those naps today, they didn't think they could actually manage to sleep.
Walking back to the computer. They opened a random piano sheet they downloaded long ago. Grabbing the abomination of piano tiles they drew to several pages, they managed to play a tune as quiet as they could possibly be. They would still jump back to their bed when hearing footsteps approaching, but they never gave up on playing the paper piano. Maybe they could file a formal complaint about the hospital not being open during the night to the mayor, even for fun.
Kris gently pulled their cabinet a bit away until the back of it was visible. Their headband with red horns was still taped there. They can't really forget the day their mother wanted to donate some of their toys, Kris didn't flinch before hiding away the headband in case they wanted to take that too. Even after reassurances from their parents that they wouldn't take it away, Kris backed away from taking it out of it's hiding place. So, it has been pretty much taped there for years. They didn't find the heart to take it off, even when it caught dust (the normal kind). They do check up on it regularly to make sure it's still there. One more thing to make their lives feel a bit more... eventful.
Kris also knows how empty their lives are. Almost non-existent talking, barely doing any activities, barely eating, barely existing. They almost wished that the demon stuff they did with Catti worked, almost is the key word. Yeah, it'd be better if they let another person control their lives for a while but the thought of being a bystander in their own body was a bit too scary.
It was around the time the sun started to rise that they started to sleep. Only a few hours of sleep wouldn't kill them...
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CONNECTING...