Chapter Text
Today (2/27/16XY)
Doctor visit:
- I met Nene and Emu again in the evening after work as agreed.
- I brought this diary with me to see their doctor.
- We sat in a circle with the doctor and I explained my concerns.
- I handed this diary to him with the hopes that it could elucidate some of the finer details of these symptoms.
- He flipped through the pages, furrowed his brows as he looked back at me and the diary multiple times.
- He eventually shut the book and told me that I was well.
- Confused, I asked him what the symptoms meant if I was physically okay.
- He sighed and told me that I was in love.
- My mind went blank. I echoed what he said, thinking I'd misheard.
- He repeated what he said with a hint of annoyance.
After the doctor kicked us out for wasting his time:
- Nene and Emu ask if I'm okay.
- I felt like a ghost. I couldn't process anything and barely responded. I don't even remember what I said.
- Most of what they said after that was lost on me.
- They eventually fell silent as we made our way back to the manor.
- We parted ways once I arrived at the entrance.
- They looked apologetic. They said to let them know anytime if I needed their help.
- I felt awful for making them worry. I hope I was able to smile properly when I responded.
After going back in:
- Memories of the past month suddenly flashed through my mind as I walked back to my room.
- I bumped into Rui in the corridor.
- I think he asked where I'd gone tonight. I'm not sure.
- When I looked up and saw his face, my whole body froze up.
- I ran straight to my room without saying a word.
- I feel awful. Very awful.
In my room:
- I collapsed to the floor as soon as I shut the door.
- I tried to cool down so that I could finally process everything that happened tonight, but couldn't.
- I stayed huddled on the floor for a while. It didn't help.
- I took out the diary and flipped to the last entry and read it again. It didn't help.
- I got on my feet and dragged myself to my desk and wrote into it in the hopes that I could finally calm down.
- It helped a little. I held my head in my hands for a while longer before I could write this entry.
Now what?
I still don't know what to do.
I can't sleep.
The lavender tea isn't working either.
I feel terrible.