Chapter Text
"I'm not wasting prey!" Mousefur growled. "It's an insult to StarClan!"
"Then I'll get it!"
Longtail made his decision quickly and stepped quickly through the thorn barrier. He dashed across the clearing to where he made his den with Mousefur and Purdy. Distantly he heard the sound of some cat shouting at him over the overwhelming noise of the tree overhead. I can do it quickly enough, he thought.
It was just as he reached the elders' den that the crashing grew significantly louder. Longtail realized he had horribly miscalculated. He didn't even have a moment to pray to StarClan before he was being crushed beneath excruciating pain and pressure, then there was nothing.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
When Longtail next dared to open his eyes, he was surprised to find that he could see. He took in his surroundings, a soft clearing in a forest flecked by starlight. Had he made it to StarClan? He couldn't help a shiver of relief at the prospect. It had been more than once that he had doubted his worthiness of joining his warrior ancestors.
Longtail opened his mouth to draw in scent, but found himself alone. Wasn't some cat supposed to greet him? How he longed to see his mother again... Yet, it made sense that she did not want to see him. That no cat wanted to see him, really. In the end, he had been nothing but a useless burden and worse than that before he'd been blinded.
Just as he was beginning to doubt that he was actually in StarClan, that he hadn't actually made it to the afterlife of his family, a voice spoke from a place he couldn't identify.
"Welcome, Longtail," the voice spoke with that of a thousand whispers, as if every warrior of StarClan were speaking at once. "We offer you a choice."
"A choice?" he choked out. This didn't feel right; it wasn't what he had expected in the slightest.
"A choice," the voice echoed. "A choice between peace. You may join StarClan and see all that you have lost. Or, you may go back."
"Go back?" Longtail meowed. "Like go back to ThunderClan? Am I not really dead yet?"
"Go back to the start," the voice meowed. "To the very beginning. To change things and live a better life. The choice is yours, but you must choose quickly."
Longtail didn't understand. He bit back a protest at the deadline, his mind whirling with possibilities. He still didn't understand exactly what these (StarClan?) cats were offering him, but it was sounding more and more like a second chance. A chance to get things right, to no longer be seen as a screwup or burden.
"Your decision?" The voice prompted.
"I... will go back," Longtail meowed hesitantly. He wasn't sure if he was making the right decision, didn't even know completely what decision he was making. But he knew that he had to stick with his gut, whatever it was telling him.
"I'll go back," he repeated.
"A wise choice." Did he detect a purr in the voice this time? "Then let all of the will of StarClan go with you."
Longtail let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding at the acknowledgement of his warrior ancestors. If he was in their paws, then no matter what he chose he was safe. He closed his eyes and was met with inky blackness once more.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
Longtail opened his eyes the next time blearily. He struggled to force them open, like he was emerging from a deep slumber. He let out what he thought would be a grumble in protest, but it came out like a tiny mewl instead.
Almost like the mewl of a kit.
Immediately there was blurry movement and suddenly he was being confronted with a patch of ginger amongst dusky brown fur.
"Robinwing!" Longtail called, stumbling forward until he was pressed against his mother. His voice came out squeaky and high pitched, but he paid no mind to it. His mother was here.
"Oh sweetling," his mother purred. "You've opened your eyes already!"
Longtail let himself get lost in the vibrations coming from his mother's chest, feeling safe like he hadn't since he was a kit.
"Am I in StarClan?" he asked. The purring suddenly stopped, replaced by a dreadful silence. Longtail pulled back just enough to peer up at his mother, who held a frozen expression of confused fear.
"Am I dead?" Longtail repeated, more clearly, before adding more. "It's okay if I'm dead, Robinwing. I've wanted to see you again for so long..."
Robinwing shook herself from her shock before stumbling backwards and yelling something out through the hole in the brambles. Inspecting his surroundings some more, Longtail was able to figure out where he was. The ThunderClan nursery.
A sneaking suspicion of what had happened to him played through his head, but he dare not speak it lest he make it real.
As he was thinking, two cats slid into the den. One had thick silver fur while the other was a pretty tortoiseshell. Featherwhisker and Spottedleaf, Longtail realized just as the two bent down to inspect him.
"I don't know what's wrong," Robinwing was fretting. "He woke up and started talking about StarClan and being dead. He's only just opened his eyes! StarClan can't be calling him already can they?"
Longtail flinched under the scrutiny of the two medicine cats. Though Spottedleaf was making soft cooing sounds to calm him, he felt too dazed and whiplashed from his sudden death and what had followed thereafter to hide his fear.
"It's alright, little one," Featherwhisker mewed briskly. "You don't know me yet, but I've known you since the day you were born. I would never hurt you, just want to check you over if that's okay."
Longtail hesitated for a moment longer before nodding his head. Featherwhisker bent his head, nudging against Longtail's undersized body parts. He hated being so small; it felt like he could be swallowed up by even the tiniest mouse with how the warriors towered over him. Before long, Featherwhisker sat up.
"There's nothing wrong with him physically," Featherwhisker supplied. Like I'm not even here, Longtail thought a little resentfully. Then again, he supposed, how else would he expect a medicine cat to react to a young kit in distress besides consulting the mother?
It was just starting to settle in that he was the young kit in that situation.
"Longkit."
Featherwhisker's words settled a weight in his belly he wasn't comfortable with.
"What's this about StarClan?" the medicine cat asked gently. "Do you know what that even is?"
Longtail- Longkit now, he supposed- saw his opportunity.
"I just heard Robinwing talking about it," he said. He tilted his head to the side, hoping that it was convincing enough kit behavior. "What does it mean?"
"StarClan are our warrior ancestors," Featherwhisker purred. Behind him, Longkit heard a sigh of relief from Robinwing.
"Which you will learn more about when you're older," Spottedleaf assured. "For now, I think some rest is in order. It's not everyday a kitten opens their eyes for the first time."
Featherwhisker nodded his assent for Spottedleaf's plan and Robinwing settled on her side with Longkit tucked in close to her. He heard his mother whispering sweet nothings to him as he was lulled into sleep by her gentle licking.
As the darkness engulfed him once more, Longkit's last thought was on how he had travelled into the past.
