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this is not enough (i am not enough) by blankjournals
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
08 Jan 2026
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Summary
Shane's breath catches on a sob, and he muffles the sound with his hand. Everything feels like too much. He’s naked, and he can feel entirely too much on his body, inside his body, and he hates how it's starting to feel gross. His head is pounding, and he can't even focus on placating his mind when his lungs are also screaming in his throat for breath.
Ilya hears, and his hands reach out to hold Shane, tension lying in every part of his body. “Shane—”
“Don't touch me,” Shane snaps, more desperation than yelling as he rips his arm out of Ilyas's grasp. His tears have nowhere to go now, and they finally spill over, hot and humiliating, down his cheeks.
Ilya freezes in place, hand hovering mid-air. A myriad of emotions flicker across his face: confusion, hurt, fear. Ilya takes an unconscious step back like someone shoved him. His body curls in on itself, trying to make himself appear smaller.
He looks... terrified. Like, Shane just called him a monster, and he believes it.
OR: inspired by the fight in the long game when ilya had told shane he could have sex with other men because he did not believe in cheating.
Series
- Part 2 of missing scenes from TLG 📖
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,413
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 325
- Kudos:
- 12,269
- Bookmarks:
- 2,621
- Hits:
- 123,553
Bookmarked by LillyVanilly
13 Mar 2026
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Summary
The first time they hooked up, Rozanov had kissed him before Shane got on his knees. They kissed when Scott Hunter was in the room next-door. And they kissed slowly and sweetly, on his apartment stairway, after Rozanov had taken his world apart and put him back together again. Hell, even in that bathroom, where he felt as if the Russian was trampling on his bared soul, Rozanov had kissed him.
So why was it different this time? What did he do wrong?
Shane aches with how much he wants—needs the other man. There is a hollow numbness in his chest every time he thinks about those golden curls and ocean eyes, and he hates himself for wishing he could have more.
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Wanting Hollander is dangerous, because Ilya is wanting more than he’s allowed to have. But Ilya keeps wanting more and more, because he is vain, selfish, undisciplined. He wants to have Hollander in his arms, sweet, warm, and gorgeous.
And he will always regret it later, in the quiet moments that come in the aftermath, in the small and lingering ache that follows him once they are apart.
Or: Shane spirals and avoids Ilya post-Vegas. Ilya chases after him, and they talk.
Series
- Part 1 of Woe like velvet, tears like jewels
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,946
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 497
- Kudos:
- 8,867
- Bookmarks:
- 2,308
- Hits:
- 120,683
Bookmarked by LillyVanilly
09 Mar 2026
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Summary
Harry agreed to have sex with Draco once a month in order to keep him alive, what he didn’t agree to was Draco popping up all over the place and disrupting his life in more ways than one.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,585
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 9
- Comments:
- 186
- Kudos:
- 11,170
- Bookmarks:
- 1,960
- Hits:
- 174,219
Bookmarked by LillyVanilly
09 Feb 2026
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Summary
His mother had had six months after his father had died. But it was expected; they had prepared and were already rather distanced. Draco hadn’t been ready, and Merlin, he had been so in love. He knew he was counting down in weeks, not months.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,115
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 10
- Comments:
- 319
- Kudos:
- 13,067
- Bookmarks:
- 2,401
- Hits:
- 124,643
Bookmarked by LillyVanilly
08 Feb 2026
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Summary
Wooyoung didn't think a reality existed where he didn't fall in love with San.
Choi San, the boy who had been his first and only friend, the boy who defended him like it was second nature, the boy who now was the lead singer for the hottest band in town and still looked at him like he was the most important person in the room. Until one day, Wooyoung realized he might not be as important to him as he always thought he had been.
Wooyoung didn't think he could ever fall out of love with San, but that didn't mean he wouldn't try.
___
Inspired by Uneasy Hearts Weigh The Most - Dance Gavin Dance
Bookmarked by LillyVanilly
01 Feb 2026
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Summary
There are five new players on their squad this season—they’ve discussed the changes before their break, once management finalised all the transfers. There’d been no mention of a Wooyoung.
“Which Wooyoung? Jung Wooyoung? From Gimpo FC?”
“That’s the one.”
Though he tries to be rational about the news, San can’t stop the feeling in his stomach—like a pit opening up, full of dread and a whole other kind of nerves. They make his breath catch, his skin feels like it’s crawling with spiders. Because, if San is the golden boy of his team, the striker that has almost brought Ulsan a victory, Jung Wooyoung is the striker who finished last season with a trophy.
It’s one of the many differences between them.
After Wooyoung joins Ulsan KQ, San’s whole life turns upside down.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 194,112
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 546
- Kudos:
- 1,128
- Bookmarks:
- 396
- Hits:
- 44,023
Bookmarked by LillyVanilly
01 Feb 2026
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Summary
“Oh, I hope that you find everything comfortable, Sannie. I am so sorry this happened, but I promise I will do my best to make everything as smooth as possible for you.” He heard his best friend ramble on as the door opened. Wooyoung froze in place like a deer caught in headlights.
Why had Hongjoong not texted him?
He realized with soul-crushing clarity that he was about to meet the stupidly handsome vapid idol while bare-chested and sleep deprived.
Running was not an option, they’d see him at this point.OR
Grumpy hacker Wooyoung is a shut in who hates people and is forced to live with idol San against his will because of his good natured roommate Hongjoong. Hilarity ensues.
Bookmarked by LillyVanilly
24 Jan 2026
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Summary
Wooyoung had always been very driven and determined, never the one to give up easily and up for any challenges. He knew what he wanted: to be San’s mate. Shout it on the reeftops, write it on the skyline and all that.
There was only one problem though, San seemed to be completely oblivious to his attempts at courting, and after a while Wooyoung had decided he’d just had enough. It’s now time for some desperate measures.
Measures that might have dangerous consequences.
or: Wooyoung gets severely injured, San freaks out and emotional chaos ensues.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,401
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 3
- Kudos:
- 28
- Bookmarks:
- 8
- Hits:
- 342
Bookmarked by LillyVanilly
24 Jan 2026
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Summary
It’s not San’s fault he’s sweet.
It’s just that Jongho is starving.Or:
Jongho’s in love with his best friend, who’s too oblivious—and too kind—for his own good.Bookmarked by LillyVanilly
06 Jan 2026
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Summary
House kitty Wooyoung is pregnant and has cravings for blueberries. His partner, panther San, will get him anything he wants.
Even if it means asking for a cup of frozen blueberries from some poor teenage worker who absolutely doesn’t care.
Bookmarked by LillyVanilly
03 Dec 2025
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Summary
When Wooyoung joins Seoul National University's Exy team, he has everything to lose and nothing to gain. The Foxes, a makeshift team of social misfits, couldn't be more disjointed. Unconcerned, patch-worked, and troubled, Wooyoung stumbles headfirst into a world of feigned indifference and concealed heartache, wherein a lonely goalkeeper decides to take a chance on him.
Or, Wooyoung joins SNU's Exy team, and San fails to stick to his own rules.
Bookmarked by LillyVanilly
13 Nov 2025
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Summary
Wooyoung gave him a crooked grin, looking amused at San’s admission.
“So I’m not all that annoying after all, am I now?”
San sighed, rubbing his temples slowly.
“You never annoyed me. I was angry at myself for getting distracted by you. You were acting like always, I just couldn’t ignore it like always. I invited you here to be background noise, but I found myself listening to your words instead.”Or,
Divorced, middle-aged San needs someone to keep him company and cure his chronic lonelieness. He's in for a lot more than he expected.Series
- Part 11 of Pathetic tops
Bookmarked by LillyVanilly
11 Nov 2025
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Summary
San doesn't think 'the witch' people whisper about is scary.
in fact, he think's the said 'witch' is pretty. very, very pretty.Bookmarked by LillyVanilly
31 Oct 2025
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Summary
This candidate is around San’s age, wearing a baggy hoodie, sweatpants and an incredibly impassive expression on his face. His hair is a little long, pulled up into a ponytail, a dark brown with bleached blonde undertones. He has pretty eyes and lips. San sort of hates him. He’s of a much smaller stature than San. Although he’s not much shorter, he’s lean and lithe in the way that San is broad and large. San’s pretty sure he can snap this guy’s spine in half.
OR
San gets assigned a bodyguard that he insists he doesn't need to help protect him against a feral demon that seems intent on hunting him down. His bodyguard is infuriating (and infuriatingly attractive) and San wants nothing to do with him, until he realizes he feels something softer beneath the hatred he holds towards Jung Wooyoung.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 177,728
- Chapters:
- 24/24
- Comments:
- 383
- Kudos:
- 1,332
- Bookmarks:
- 390
- Hits:
- 52,009
Bookmarked by LillyVanilly
23 Oct 2025
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Summary
When San thought of the afterlife, it certainly didn't sound like a dreary estate where everyone hated him. But, he's nothing if not persistant.
Or where San dies transmigrates and slowly carves a place for himself in a new world.
Bookmarked by LillyVanilly
18 Oct 2025
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Summary
“You work every weekend, anyways. Even before this happened.” Wooyoung huffed, and San scoffed, and Wooyoung shrunk. “You’re never around, and it’s just getting worse. You don’t have time for anything but that stupid fucking computer-” He knew speaking up was making things worse, but he also knew he had to say something.
“I have a job with real obligations, that’s why I work every weekend. But you wouldn’t get that, would you?” San scoffed, and immediately he felt the acid on his tongue. A regret that tasted so vile he wanted to apologize just to keep the taste out of his mouth. He watched Wooyoung’s hand stop, then he plopped his phone onto the comforter and got up, maneuvering around the bed to move to the closet. San sighed and opened his mouth to speak, but Wooyoung plopped to the floor with a huff.
“Fuck you.”Series
- Part 8 of 🎥 Cambunny Hours 🐇
Bookmarked by LillyVanilly
16 Oct 2025
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Summary
Seonghwa's spent his entire life being forgettable, to the point where he wants nothing more than to forget himself, too.
Giving up on the idea of love and companionship, he throws himself at the mercy of a controversial matchmaking service that specializes in matching up the most desperate loners with packs that have proven too dysfunctional to find that harmonious balance every pack needs.
Willingly drugged into a calm, nearly emotionless version of himself, Hwa should be able to assimilate effortlessly into the Ateez pack that's chosen him. If only it were that easy.
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*explicit chapters are marked 'nsfw'
*potentially under-tagged. Will add more as I write, but please read with caution!
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- Part 5 of more works by this anon
- Part 1 of the compass points you home
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 206,780
- Chapters:
- 51/51
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,877
- Kudos:
- 3,231
- Bookmarks:
- 747
- Hits:
- 150,947
Bookmarked by LillyVanilly
09 Oct 2025
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Summary
Wooyoung doesn’t have a soulmark.
This comes with complications.
Bookmarked by LillyVanilly
05 Oct 2025
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a part of me that will never be mine by tragedy_machine
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
19 Oct 2024
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Summary
Edwin tells Charles he loves him in Hell, but when Charles quickly responds with his own breathless 'I love you', Edwin assumes his friend meant it platonically, so he gives up halfway through his confession, leaving out the crucial 'I'm in love with you' part. Dejected, he decides to keep his feelings a secret.
Meanwhile, Charles has been in love with his best mate for years, so when they unexpectedly exchange 'I love yous' on the staircase of Hell, Charles happily assumes that they've just started dating and are just going at a really slow pace.
Needless to say, they're not really on the same page.
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OR: because of a misunderstanding during the confession in Hell, Charles thinks they're dating now, while Edwin believes his love will stay unrequited forever
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,877
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 611
- Kudos:
- 1,097
- Bookmarks:
- 203
- Hits:
- 16,020
Bookmarked by LillyVanilly
29 Sep 2025
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Summary
“That about did it,” Edwin says, patting himself down and straightening his bowtie. “Now, if you’re ready, I suggest we find a mirror and-“
“Did you just cough up a flower?” Charles interrupts. Flower, perhaps, is a slight exaggeration. It’s more like a petal, red and incredibly out of place here on the shore.
Edwin clears his throat, but this time no petals follow. “Certainly it’s nothing to worry about.”
Or: Edwin is suffering from a weird curse, but for some reason, he's refusing Charles' help. Charles is trying his best to fix it anyway, but Edwin is being oddly secretive about the whole thing.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,000
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 258
- Kudos:
- 1,624
- Bookmarks:
- 335
- Hits:
- 12,280
Bookmarked by LillyVanilly
27 Sep 2025