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“Yeah, about that.” Harry interrupted, and May sighed. So much for subtlety, she supposed. “You and Eddie.”
“Are best friends.” He answered, with the finality of a conversation finished.
Buck might be used to being the annoying little brother, and May might be used to being the tired older sister, but Harry was ready in a way May had to find a little funny.
“I was going to say super gay.” Harry answered casually.
Buck sputtered. “I’m bisexual and you know I’m bisexual.”
“Okay and what’s his excuse?”
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Harry and May take it upon themselves to use their weekly Bachelor nights to parent trap Buck and Eddie.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,181
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 105
- Kudos:
- 3,156
- Bookmarks:
- 623
- Hits:
- 26,859
Bookmarked by alitheus
10 Feb 2026
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Dolly is the very nice old woman who lives three blocks down from Jason’s third-favorite safe house. It’s not out of the norm for her to ask him to put this or that knick-knack on this or that shelf, but it is out of the norm for him to open the closet door and nearly be swallowed by yarn.
“Oh, dear,” Dolly says. “I forgot that was the yarn closet.”
“A yarn closet,” Jason repeats disbelievingly. He places the knick-knack on top of the shelf. There is an endless rainbow of yarn pooled around his feet. “What do you even do with all this?”
Dolly says, “Hats, scarves. Hot pads if I’m bored. Blankets if there’s a baby. Honestly, you can crochet all kinds of things.”
“Crocheting,” Jason says. And this is where he makes his fatal mistake: “Is that kind of like knitting?”
Five minutes later, Jason finds himself seated on the couch, a bundle of yarn in one hand and some kind of hook in the other.
***
Jason Todd learns how to crochet. It turns out that having healthy emotional outlets improves your mental health and your relationships with others--like, say, a certain set of Bats.
Series
- Part 2 of dolly-verse fics
Bookmarked by alitheus
22 Nov 2025
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Summary
Jason Todd was loved best dead.
Dead he was a saint. A martyr. Nothing was more sacred in the Church of Batman than martyrdom.
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No one ever said that coming back from the dead was easy, not for the one who died and not for the people they left behind.
Series
- Part 1 of The Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,042
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 87
- Kudos:
- 671
- Bookmarks:
- 209
- Hits:
- 6,624
Bookmarked by alitheus
22 Nov 2025
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“You got an appointment, kid?”
Ted Kord has weird taste. In Ted’s desk chair sits Booster Gold, in all his gleaming, costumed glory. He’s reclining as far back as the chair will allow, and has got both feet kicked up on a stack of boxes. He tilts his head, a teasing smile on his lips. “Hey, which one of the Robins are you?”
“Hey, Booster,” Tim says, ignoring the bait. He genuinely thinks that Booster’s said some variation of that joke every single time Tim’s interacted with him. “Is Ted here?”
Bookmarked by alitheus
09 Nov 2025
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“Please don’t tell me the first person who ever touched your dick was Dr. Robby.”
“Um.” He coughs.
“Oh my god I’m gonna fucking die.”
Santos tries to solve Whitaker’s sexual hangups. Whitaker tries to save Robby’s soul. Neither initiative goes exactly to plan.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,400
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 763
- Kudos:
- 13,828
- Bookmarks:
- 2,708
- Hits:
- 147,297
Bookmarked by alitheus
26 Oct 2025
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“You got a verse for that, too?”
Once again, Dennis pauses to think, willing his futile diploma into good use. He tries to stay focused as he meets Robby’s patient gaze, but the sight leaves his heart kicking erratically against his ribs.
“‘Come now, and let us reason together. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; if they’re red like crimson, they shall become like wool.’”
“Jeez, Whitaker,” Robby huffs, elated. “You got the whole book memorized?”
“Something like that.”
Robby and Whitaker keep running into each other at the hospital's chapel.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,014
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 64
- Kudos:
- 1,682
- Bookmarks:
- 319
- Hits:
- 11,928
Bookmarked by alitheus
26 Oct 2025
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Jason Todd is seriously injured during patrol one night, and is forced to stay at the manor to recuperate until his injuries are healed. To pass the time, he makes a list of things he never got to do before he died.
Except there's one small problem: most of them involve Bruce, and Jason doesn't really think Bruce cares all that much about him anymore.This is a story about how wrong he is, but I made it sad anyway.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 47,656
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 24
- Comments:
- 1,424
- Kudos:
- 10,802
- Bookmarks:
- 3,830
- Hits:
- 158,279
Bookmarked by alitheus
22 Sep 2025
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Future Perfect by poisonivory
Fandoms: DCU - Comicverse, DCU, Blue Beetle (Comic), Booster Gold (Comics)
17 Dec 2012
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Summary
Milagro's brother doesn't want her to be a Green Lantern. Rani's sort-of dad doesn't want her to be a Time Master. Clearly, there's only one solution: rescuing Ted Kord.
Bookmarked by alitheus
13 Sep 2025
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PENIS QUEST by BombusBombus
Fandom Birds of Prey (Comics), Justice League International (Comics)
16 Jan 2024
- Words:
- 43,875
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 33
Bookmarked by alitheus
13 Sep 2025
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Summary
It's all fun and games until Kyle's ring decides Jason is his one true love.
Bookmarked by alitheus
11 Sep 2025
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The study of the spider man by IDKhow_iwrite
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Batman - All Media Types
01 Dec 2024
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Summary
Sexual dimorphism, the difference between different sexes of the same species. In spiders, the females are always larger. So when one quarter spider man sees red hood for the first time, every instinct in his little spider brain is screaming ‘mate’ at him.
Red Hood suffers the consequences for it and the batfam are laughing at his pain
Series
- Part 1 of SpiderHood? RedMan? crack ship fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,462
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Collections:
- 19
- Comments:
- 401
- Kudos:
- 5,810
- Bookmarks:
- 985
- Hits:
- 55,402
Bookmarked by alitheus
03 Sep 2025
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Summary
Do you know? Sanji wants to say. Do you know how terrifying it is to look at someone who doesn’t know the first thing about you and still see your future with them? Do you know how fucking scary and thrilling and red that is? Do you know what it does to me to see all this colour on you? To think that I could take care of you? That you chose me to do it? Jesus, do you fucking know?
What comes out is, ‘Well, do you want me to get you off or not?’
Bookmarked by alitheus
19 Aug 2025
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Summary
‘I need,’ Sanji says through clenched teeth, ‘a haircut. Okay? Please?’
Series
- Part 1 of zoro's hair and care
Bookmarked by alitheus
19 Aug 2025
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Can I Offer You Some Bread in These Trying Times by why_is_this_a_thing_now
Fandoms: DCU, Batman - All Media Types, Batman: Wayne Family Adventures (Webcomic), Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010)
29 Nov 2023
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Summary
Taking a second to find calm in the middle of the storm, Jason closes his eyes and breathes in. He's reminded of a different kitchen, from a lifetime ago, with two people snuggled up side-by-side, poking at the dough and each other as they wait for their bread to rise. He's reminded of this kitchen, a lifetime ago, starting to feel like a comfort he didn't have to doubt, a place he could maybe, one day, call his home.
For all that he's not that little kid anymore, for all that the families he remembers loving have been torn apart by the cruel whims of fate, he recognizes that he can still have this moment. He can still have this family. It's not what he started with, but it is what he's grown to be a part of. It's what he's grown to love.
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How baking led to Jason re-connecting with the Batfam, one recipe at a time: A story in eight parts, plus an epilogue.
Series
- Part 1 of A Basket Full of Red Hood
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,638
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Comments:
- 124
- Kudos:
- 1,461
- Bookmarks:
- 260
- Hits:
- 20,375
Bookmarked by alitheus
14 Aug 2025
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rare is this love, keep it covered - i need you to run to me by TheCopperPan
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, The Flash - All Media Types, The Flash (TV 2014), Teen Titans - All Media Types, Young Justice - All Media Types
29 May 2024
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Summary
“The mask stays on.”
“Not happening. The mask stays on.”
“Do not touch my mask.”
“I’m not taking it off.”
Wally tries, over and over again, to get his teammate to take his mask off. It doesn't work.
OR Wally and Dick go from teammates with issues to friends with issues to best friends to being in love with each other.
OR a bunch of times Dick won't take off his mask and reveal his identity, and the one time he does.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 28,680
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 166
- Kudos:
- 2,710
- Bookmarks:
- 550
- Hits:
- 21,434
Bookmarked by alitheus
12 Aug 2025
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allies or enemies by Eccentric_Grace
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010)
10 Jul 2024
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Summary
Jason laughed loudly, tossing his head back. “Can you fuckin’ believe that? Holy shit. Didn’t even have—“
His voice disappeared as he actually caught sight of Bruce.
Bruce stood directly in the harsh light of the moon. His face gaunt, the blood drained and leaving him as pale as a cadaver. His eyes wide, trained on the same spot, and full of an emotion that Jason had never ever imagined to see on him.
The pieces click fast. The alley, the gun, the haunted tone of B’s voice last time he’d said his name.
He… had no idea how to handle this.
(or: a look into several moments of panic throughout jason's life.)
Series
- Part 3 of batfam integration 2 electric boogaloo
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,043
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 64
- Kudos:
- 1,146
- Bookmarks:
- 179
- Hits:
- 8,313
Bookmarked by alitheus
10 Aug 2025
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fun and games by prismatical
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics), Batman (Comics)
03 Sep 2020
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Summary
The Joker's loose, and the Batman isn't in Gotham. The family struggles to hold itself together as everything else spins out of control.
Series
- Part 2 of detective stories
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 78,666
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 486
- Kudos:
- 1,616
- Bookmarks:
- 431
- Hits:
- 32,791
Bookmarked by alitheus
08 Aug 2025
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your love is a waiting game by dicksargents (wittchers)
Fandoms: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
10 Sep 2016
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Summary
“If I am to be your fake girlfriend,” she had said, “perhaps we should work on our intimacy level.”
aka the obligatory fake dating fic with some smut and general dirtiness
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,395
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 26
- Kudos:
- 450
- Bookmarks:
- 61
- Hits:
- 5,694
Bookmarked by alitheus
30 Jul 2025
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Summary
“I was looking at my reflection, and I thought that if I could just see what you saw, then maybe… maybe I could be good again. Like you used to be. And if I was good, in some twisted sort of way, I could have you back. Even then, I still missed you.” Obito laughs bitterly, a short bark. “I was so fucked up back then.”
“No,” Kakashi says gently. “Just young.”
Or: Obito takes the long way home.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,854
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 27
- Kudos:
- 249
- Bookmarks:
- 77
- Hits:
- 2,151
Bookmarked by alitheus
01 Jul 2025
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Summary
perhaps becoming hokage was not an accomplishment, but the start of yet another learning journey. after being entrusted with an entire village, hatake kakashi finds out there is a lot he still doesn't know or understand.
series of vignette exploring kakashi's mental health, relationships and family. title from the mabel podcast ep. 28: matryoshka.
Series
Bookmarked by alitheus
01 Jul 2025